User:Mr-ex777/A pile of dog turd/3

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“The drink isn't the problem, its the fucking Quaars!”
~ Mick 'The Bull' Daly on Ireland
~ Mick 'The Bull' Daly on Quaars

An eye-witness account on Queers.


Two Super Quaars
Scientific Classification
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homoquaar
Intelligence: Erotic
Special Attack: Flirt

Quaars are a subspecies of the human race similar in physical appearance yet they do have huge difference in their mental structure. They are the most dedicated gays of the gay community and do not take it as a hobby. A huge extermination is under way in Ireland and many other countries to try and eliminate this pest as a lesser bisexual variant is breeding with other humans.

edit Populations

edit Physical Appearance

Quaars look exactly like Humans but instead of hands they have hooks so they can dig them into other people's backs and start riding them. Their 'penises' if we call them that (More of a lump of skin with a small hole) are a bit smaller then a normal human's and are not used for reproduction. They are 'natural tools of pleasure'. They make babies by planting Quaar seeds.

edit Uses

Although declared a pest by many people there are some uses for them including fertilizer. Which many Irish people do by tossing neutralized Quaars into wood chippers. Bred Quaars are used to power cars. They recharge by riding other Quaars! Other then that they make great fuel for a fire.

edit Gay Scale

Quaars break the gay scale and if ever measured would cause a hole that would split the universe in half. They dress like mimes and cowboys in pink and sometimes unexpectantly turn up in bars and chase all the customers out causing many bars to carry AK-47s, pipe bombs, anti-gay spray, priests and sawn off shotguns.

edit Religion

Quaars preach a religion known as Norrisism headed by the Godly Gay. His representative on earth is his gay Norrisness Pope David Norris the I who has been pope for the last 729 years and has been preceded by 4 other popes, Pope J.B the I (Was raped to death), Pope J.B II (J.B's clone, was killed after experiencing a huge orgasm, the only female Quaar), Pope Callen I (Half Quaar) and Pope Mao I(Quaar reincarnation of Mao Zedong).

edit History

In sometime between the year of Norris 666,666,666,666,666,666 BC and the year of the Fake Heretic 0 AD a man called Tinny Condom who at the time was the world's gayest man and a scientist went to bed one night and had a dream, he was dreaming of the Quaars that the god Norris the Great had talked about. It turned out he was the gay messiah and the inventor of the microscopic and retarded condom hence his name. He thought many of the Quaar God and converted many millions of humans to Norrisism. Finally when there was more then 50 million The God Norris turned the 666,666,666,666,666,666 year old Tinny Condom into the first Quaar and then within a night he gave birth to the Nation of Quaars in the shortest birth in the known universe. The God Norris then physically changed all the Quaars to have hooks and wings for hands. Tinny Condom was killed when Jesus Christ fell the third time on the ground but he crushed him.

edit Quaars

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