User:Mr-ex777/A pile of dog turd/1
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“Viva the Macarana”
“The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing”
edit PreambleGeorge WWJD Bush, the cousin twice removed of God, invented Judaism, Islam, Communism, Homosexuality, Fascism, Anarchy, bastards, stupidity and toothpaste. He later went on to disown the former four. He often goes by, the second son, the Texan Jesus, and Dubya Dubya Jay Day. He is the undisputed leader of the New World Order, or NWO. He claims to be the most moral "being" on earth. However he as also been quoted as denying being mortal in nature, "I'm Jesus, kinda." He is celebrated for his undying compassion and killer smile.
edit Life of a Savior
George WWJD Bush has been noted as a genuine Messiah by 42 states and 1337 countries as well as a good zero religions. Although not labelled a true messiah by the Catholic Church he has been confirmed as a saint for his three miracles of:
-Turning WMD's into sand
-Turning oil into pollution
-Turning the entire world into a breeding ground for terrorists
George WWJD Bush was born in Nazareth, Connectthedots in the years 0, 42, 777, 1337, 1930 and 2000. He was fathered by George H.W. Bush and The "Virgin" Mary all five times. Although disputed, it has been claimed he emerged from the womb as a full grown quasi-man. We'd ask his mother, but she has since been "silenced". Many scientists have studied this incredible phenomenon, it's a great question which has left scientists baffled and scientologists jumping on couches. He eats farts.
edit Early Childhood
In his early childhood George WWJD Bush lived lavishly and enjoyed some familiar pastimes, such as:
- War Profiteering
- Oil Drilling
- Gay mens football
- Gay Sex
- Nazi Sympathizing
- Drawing detailed pictures of Rick Astley
- Snorting Cocaine
- Kitten huffing
- doin' them things on them intarnetz
edit Early Adulthood
In the early 1970's he fought valiantly in the Texas National Guard, losing his fifth limb and a rather large section of his brain. After he returned home from the war, he became a farmer for 10 years. On August 4th 1380 he married his lover Dick Cheney.
edit Middle AdulthoodBush traveled the mighty deserts of his fathers, George and Prescott, in search of a Quest. One sunny day, in the dark of night, he found a bush which was all lit on fire and was mightily taken aback. He hid his face in terror, and shakily asked "Who'all's thayer?"
The bush then spake, "You know who I am: I stared at the sun. Well I am the one who loves changing from nothing to One."
Bush replied to the bush, and quoth "Sheeyit, jeepers!"
The bush instructed Bush thusly, saying unto him "Go thou into the world, and save my children from terror." His mission was then established.
Shortly there after he was found by the Holy Roman Empire's Holy Roman Army. They had him lit ablaze, hanged, tasered, and took degrading photos of him and Lynndie England. They then divided his garments among themselves and took turns nailing him on the cross. Then they burned him at the stake.
edit Cheese eating
Bush is very fond of a slice or two of cheddar.
Beeblebrox's Therapist (who coincidently is also Bush's) has stated, "Bush is just this guy, you know?"
edit His Legacy
He has left meny men with the minor wishes of the people. he has left 1 bojillion people to worship him. There also various movies and Xbox video games based on his life. A major motion picture is currently being filmed, directed by acclaimed director Uwe Boll. Tom Cruise is tipped to play the leading role.
There are many religions founded in respect to him, including, SadoMasaChristianity, Judaism, Islam and Hinduism. Buddhism is similar, but involves to many numbers, therefore it has been denied as a Bushian Religion.