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So life is going along just fine. You woke up right before the alarm went off. You got a coffee from Starbucks (*sip*). The radio played one of your favorite songs on the way to work. Then you got on the elevator broke down between floors. "Great! This ruins my whole day!" your internal monologue monologues internally.

But wait, there's more. You're not alone. There's a hottie standing beside you. Sure, she's got a pot belly, but you're a modern man; you look beyond the outer beauty to see the beauty inside. Your day is looking up. "Hey, I'm a modern man. I'm sure her belly is beautiful on the inside." your monologue continues, "My day is looking up."

The elevator, meanwhile, continues its failure to elevate. You turn to the chubby hottie and lean in, pursing your lips in preparation for the perfect kiss...wait, you read the title already, right? So the jig, as they say, is up? Nuts!

Well, just play along because it's going to get steamy...or it would if you hadn't just stepped in water. Water, which it need not be said, came from her. Water that's broken.

Now what do you do? What do you do? Why is it always about you? Put down your damn coffee; she's having a baby here! (more...)

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