User:Milkmaid Mystic

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edit Milkmaid Mystic

Chemag milk

The Milkmaid does it on your doorstep.

Milkmaid Mystic, the most mystic of milkmaids has been around for hundreds, if not tens, of years. As an early member of the Moorish Milkmaids Union (founded 1642) she did all sorts of untold, uncared about, yet interesting things. It really is a shame that no one cares because she could honestly go on and on about all those things she's done for hours. Like this one time when she had to go and milk this cow, only it turned out not to be a cow at all, but a horse. It worked all the same of course, but it tasted a bit different.

But back on topic. The point is there's really nothing at all interesting or remotely intruiging about this individual. Except this one time...

edit Fire Alarms

edit Motive

In the early 1940s, a rather clever scientist deduced that one might be able to obtain the motive of the fire alarm by 'asking politely'. The experiment was immediately implemented and all its data taken down by hand. Here is a transcription of what occured:

SCIENTIST: I'm approaching the Fire Alarm. (pause) Here, you! Write that down.
<<Scientist Approaches the Fire Alarm. Yells at Assistant.>>
SCIENTIST: Bloody hell. Don't they teach you anything at school nowadays, you old thing? No! Not this. Don't write this down too. Stop! Honestly! Don't make me go over there, old thing. You've already written down that I've gone over here.
FIRE ALARM: *beep*
SCIENTIST: (to Fire alarm) Shut up, will you! (to Assistant)

edit Fin/Too Many Userboxes


This user does the sort of things that only Prince would sing about.

Heritage Routemaster This user uses public transport and so has most likely been mugged, raped or murdered.
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
MontyPythonFootLeftSmall This user is from Camelot,
and eats ham and jam and spamalot!
Towel migration This user knows the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
British flag This user is a total UKer
and knows how to queue.
(British Uncyclopedians)
Napoleon4 This user is not and has never been Napoleon.

Kraspin This user enjoys staring at spinning objects. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!.
You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.
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