User:Michaeljackjr/Earth War I
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|The author of this article doesn't care at all if you edit it, heck, your stuff is probably funnier than mine.|
|Earth War I|
Map of the 2 empires around 2159, just before the war began. Blue: French, Green: Arabian, Grey: The Forgotten
|Conflict: Earth War I|
|Date: 2153 - 2160|
|Outcome: Fall of the French and Arabian Empires, return of the English language.|
| French Empire
France, U.S., Canada, United Kingdom, Ireland, Spain, Portugal, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Holland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Slovak Countries, Italy, Vatican City, Soviet Union, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Western Sahara, Mauritania, Mali, Niger, Senegal, Guinea-Bissau, Sierra Leone, Cote d' Ivoire, Ghana, Togo, Nigeria, Mexico, Central America, South America
|The Saudian Dictated Democratically Fascist Republic of Arabia|
|Bill Nye the Science Guy, Yoshi, Darth Vader, Your mom||Michio Kaku, Peter Griffin, John Wayne, Your Dad|
|your mom||your dad|
Earth War I (Also known as EWI, War of the Parents, and Punic Wars II: Nothing to do with Rome or Carthage). The reason this is not a "world war" is because when England was conquered by the French Empire before the war, French became their official language. The Americans then decided to change the language English to American and simplified it. They made changes like taking out the word world and started using earth for everything.
edit What the...?
edit After World War VII
Between World War VII and VIII, the economy in Europe/Asia/Africa sunk the lowest it ever has. Around 2150, the French (under control of Bill Nye the Science Guy) put all their funds into invaded England which surrendered in .1 seconds due to poor economy. Within five months, only about 120 people spoke English in England. In seven, nobody spoke English. The Americans see no reason to call their language "English" so they change it to "American" and tried to simplify it.
The French eventually started to conquer the rest of Europe. The Soviet Union rejoined trying to prevent being conquered. Of course they were it was useless and they were conquered within a day. The French wouldn't have invaded Africa except Some guy you've never heard of in Spain walked into Morocco causing them to start a war. After conquering them in 16 minutes, they got greedy and spent the next 4 hours conquering Algeria, Libya, The Middle East, and unconquered Asia. President Nye put his vice president, Michio Kaku, in charge of the Middle East/Asia. The eastern capital was in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. When the idea to invade Australia was vetoed by Nye, Kaku signed a Declaration of War against the western empire. A global war was in sight.The United States (under control of Darth Vader) decided to join France in the war against and conquer the rest of North and South America. When U.S. troops landed in Saudi Arabia, Earth War I began.
edit America vs. The Americas
On February 7th, 2153, the U.S. invaded Canada. They marched troops across the border near Niagra Falls. This would start the least important part of the war.
edit Niagra Falls FallsSince the Canadians were stupid enough to resist, the U.S. bombed the shit out of Niagra Falls, causing the Falls to fall. Instead, it was renamed Niagra Crater. The Canadians still refused to surrender.
edit Death of the Mex
The U.S. decided to scare Canada by bombing Mexico City with over 9000 a-bombs. The U.S. set a new Mexican capital just south of the border in a city called Juárez. The Canadians flipped out and willingly surrendered to the U.S.
edit Central/South America
North America whooped their asses in about 7 minutes.
edit The Meaningless Battles of the French and ArabiansThe rest of the year of 2153 was mostly just conspiracy against the rivaling sides. The countries in Africa had joined together to create an empire in hopes that they wouldn't be conquered. It slowed them down a bit, but slowly, it seemed the entire world was going to be conquered by one of the two empires.
edit The Retarded Battle of Edirne
In the gay lands of Turkey, on January 2, 2154, the French randomly invade Edirne, Turkey. This was the first major battle between the two empires. Trust me, I have no idea why they put that off until then. During the 19th day of battle,