From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Acid that is possible of burning your flesh off and your face melting like in some cheesy low cost movie. (Note to Self: Not LSD) Many hippies have confused corrosive acid with the "good" acid. Leading to over 10,000 casualties among hippies, Band members, druggies, and school teachers. This article informs you on handling, how to treat, and common problems with Corrosive acids.
edit Prevention and Handling
This section will teach you how you can keep from being stupid and doing something a total n00b would do
- Keep things in a locked area
- Matches and gasoline are not good together
- Keep Batman from pushing Joker into the vat of acid
- Do not bathe in the acid
- Splashing other people is fair game as long as it is not in the face
- Windex is not blueberry Kool-aid
- Use protection. Prevents babies and less skin grafts
- Store anywhere between 0ºC-100ºC (32ºF-212ºF)
- Do not use your hand to retrieve something from the acid
- Do not use as substitute for Baking Soda
edit Uses Through History
From Genghis Khan to now, humans have always used corrosive acid in some form or way. Genghis Khan chose to torture people by putting it in their food. Now we use it by puttting it in illegal drugs and sending them to China to slowly diminish their population until America can invade and strike Beijing where it hurts... The Olympics. That will teach them for owning us in Women's gymnastics. Even Christopher Columbus used acid. Sending his men on wild trips to steamy jungles grassy plains and far stretches of the ocean. (In more ways than one) Acid will forever be remember as of the most useless things on earth. Except for black people
edit Common Uses
Although everyone may use corrosive acids in households things (cleaning, woodwork, decomposing bodies, ect.) We will teach you some fun hands-on projects you can make and have some well needed manual labor at the same time.
edit Baby Food
Sick of all that crying? (Aforementioned) Wish you had worn protection? Here's a recipe that will give you days of peace and quiet.
Ingredients: Corrosive acid, Baby formula, backing soda, ink, darts, chrolophorm, .9mm semi-automatic
- Fill dart with chlorophorm, and throw at baby
- Now that baby is knocked out you can start cooking
- Pour 2 gallons of acid into a bowl
- Now mix in a smidgen of baking soda
- Place in oven till 400 degrees and leave in for an hour
- Remove from oven and add 1/2 cup of ink
- Feed to baby and keep .9mm semi-automatic by your side to defend yourself from cops
edit Holy Water
Tom Cruise ruining your couch? Lindsay Lohan back in rehab? Well, than we have a product for you. Stops any dumb celebrity in their tracks.
Ingredients: Corrosive acid, Water, Heroine and a needle
- Pour corrosive acid and water into a bowl
- Prepare the heroine for the needle
- Now once the acid and water have mixed, put it in the needle with the heroine
- Wait for any celebrity, they won't be able to keep their hands-off
edit Torture device
Tired of that special someone? Just wanna shut them up for good? Follow the instructions and that will happen.
Ingredients: Corrosive acid
- Set up traps
- Once the target is captured pour the acid on them
- Fun, cheap, simple