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Vincent Kennedy "Vince" McMahon is the owner of the WWE, a wrestling organization that has been under the rule of the McMahon family since the technique of body slamming was invented. The McMahons can trace their ancestry back to Ireland, where their family already had a name as the "insane Irish family that wrestled everything and everyone they saw, to the ground." Things went well for the McMahons who thrived in the potato business, mainly by slamming the hell out of the buyers and making them pay more than is necessary for a pound of potatoes. Then in the 19th century, the McMahon family purchased a mirror simply because that is what one did in Ireland at the time to look fancy. Unfortunately, the family never fully completed the evolutionary process like regular humans and based on current data, would have failed the mirror test. Needless to say, the entire family quickly began wrestling with the full-sized mirror after they saw their own reflections and didn't like the look on the parallel version of themselves' face. Superstition set it, and the family decided to leave Ireland and go to America, which would somehow prevent 7 years bad luck on the family. We don't understand either, but YOU try telling those nut-jobs they are wrong about something and risk getting a head lock.
After arriving to New York, the family wrestled everybody into the ground upon disembarkment, making them tap out or holding their shoulders to the ground for a mere three seconds. Afterwards, the family successfully began a career in organized wrestling, setting the stage for the family to continue doing what they do best. Mr. McMahon inherited the Empire from his father and managed to grow it into the multi-million dollars business that it is today.
As soon as Mr. McMahon got out of his mother's womb, he was destined to either become a rugby player or a wrestling lord, as the doctor who gave birth to him was high on rhinoceros growth hormone and shockingly wrestled the newborn to the ground upon delivery. Now who's gonna be prevailing in this ladies and gentlemen??? said an out of breath commentator.
Chaos immediately erupted in the hospital room, in a skirmish that saw the faultive doctor abdicate thanks to a cleverly delivered arm lock by McMahon's mother, which caused the abusive doctor to tap out. We are witnessing, with our own eyes, the very course of history the buffoon added.
Vince's childhood was typical for an Irish child; A deadbeat father who left the family, a string of abusive stepfathers and dyslexia, or as is described in Ireland, "Easter Sunday." Vince used to have to protect his mother from his abusive stepfathers, especially when they all decided to beat her at once. Vince once told reporters about one of the stepfathers that, "It is unfortunate that he died before I could kill him. I would have enjoyed that," after which, Vince body slammed the reporter, killing him on impact while VInce stood over the body yelling "YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!" Vince then worked hard to become successful and to overcome his dyslexia and has for the most part been successful according to Vince McMahon, or has he now goes by "Wince My Malone."