User:Mattsnow/Talk page archive 3

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EDpolice FACT ALERT:
This user is a conspiracy nut, hates war and thinks the planet is ruled by greedy evil people. Please alert the cyberpolice so they beat some sense into this lost soul. Thanks.

-New World Order

edit Hey,

Go here so we can all talk about what kind of article to write. Thanks. --Tophat headless 17:55, August 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit Howdy!

How's it going old fellow..How's that hole on that face of yours? Still healing? --Wiggly pFiry mWiggly p -> That's Poop Man Poop 12:26, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

Hey yo!!! It's doing fine, I heal it with alcohol! LOL And how are you doing? Still running around elephants? Are you part of the August competition? Snowflake mini Mattsnow 12:36, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
Hey,PMP. We have a space open in our group. Wanna join? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 12:48, 4 August 2011
Ok man what August competition and what group are you guys talking about?--Wiggly pFiry mWiggly p -> That's Poop Man Poop 09:10, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
Summer competition. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 15:32, 7 August 2011
Ok I'm in, but tell me what to do. --Wiggly pFiry mWiggly p -> That's Poop Man Poop 08:16, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello!

You seem to be the only one online now, so Hello! Nice features! I will have to spend a half hour later (or not) voting on VFH, I'll be on for a couple of more hours and want to write. Itching to write. Still no pc at home, bummer triple bummer. How are things here, any major news? Over. Aleister 17:24 4-7-'11

Glad you're here! Yes there are news: the UnNews are now a free for all due to numerous controversies as the czar thing, it seems nobody but our team gives a fuck about the tournament but I could be wrong, and my jaw is almost completely OK and I am scheduled to start working again in a week and a half! I thought you left, I was depressed :S. When will you have your PC? Snowflake mini Mattsnow 17:31, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
No way to know because it seems totally virused. Your jaw? What happened? Sorry you will go back to work, bummer. There's a tournament? UnNews can be cleaned up once every couple of days and it would be fine, it's just a matter of keeping the front page list free of crap articles and updated with the new good ones. What happened to Humdinger or whatever his name is? Can you still eat with your jaw? If not, nose eating has its good points. Just suck it up through there and it's all custard. Been here awhile and have yet to write, I have to hermitize myself if I want to write something today. Maybe I'll take a solid hour soon and work on one of my pages. Two new page ideas too. Your new ones have interesting titles, must read soon. Aleister 17:37 4-7-'11
It was a bicycle accident, I am lucky my teeth could be arranged! Accidents happen so fast, it's scary. One second you are pedalling at 35 km/h with joy on the cycling path, the other second some guy coming the opposite way, rolling at the same speed as you do slips off his pedal clip, making him swerve in your lane. The result was a bit gory.

Yes, Humbucker resigned as UnNews czar after some drama-filled forums and edit wars.And there is a contest of 6 teams of 4 people (see the forum Summer Extrvaganza or something, it's one of the first one). And I wrote one on 9/11, I put it on Pee today, it's still needs work I think, maybe I'll plant bombs on it and pretend planes knocked it out LOL. Nahh, I think it's alright, have a read if you want: User:Mattsnow/The 9/11 Commission Report. It just needs expanding. Can't wait to read your articles! Why don't you auto-nom one, VFH is pretty dead at the moment. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 17:57, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

Humbucker left, he could have as easily compromised a little. I hope he stays around and writes again, he was best at that. A good wit and good writer. I'll read 9/11. Yes, maybe I'll nom one of my rewrites, what do you think of Puddle of shit? Or something else. My corpsarion page is good in structure but needs to be funnied up, I'm too close to it to do a great job of funny on it. Would you like to see if you can add funny? It would be nice to get another writer in there. I did a 911 UnNews thing a few months ago, it's a subject that just keeps on giving. Yay 911! A comic storehouse of yucks and side-splitting (literally, for the guys who jumped) humour. Will read your page now. Aleister 18:14 4-7-'11
p.s. A good start on your 911 page. The commission report's conclusions have apparantly been questioned by a majority of the people who signed off on it! It's a major topic, so I hope you perfect the page, it could be a classic (just as the report is now a classic of fiction). My unnews 911 sandwich page could probably be expanded too, maybe I'll get to that one someday. A topic full of new discoveries and joys.
HAHAHA!!!! I just read Puddle of shit! Are you over with it? There are some typos, especialy in the intro. It's so fucking hilarious, if you want me to nom it, I will. :D How I missed your writing! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 18:38, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
Serious? Wow. Give me an hour or so to work on it and polish (I may not catch the typos, as I can't type worth shit. The page was a VFD save, and I think it was SPIKE who asked me not to save it and add to it, so of course I kept polishing it and periodically asked him to nom it, which he always ignored. Did SPIKE ever come back? Damn, he was good. I'll take a few minutes off now and then come back to work on it. And your 911 page looks better when I read it again, the vid of Building 7 is so unusual that it still makes me wonder about the claims, you'd think it wouldn't fall like that even if it was burned out inside. Strange goop. More later! Aleister 18:44 4-7-'11
Sure I am serious! :D I didn't see SPIKE around at all, man you were gone for a long time! Also, Mimo quit :( He went back to his Grec Uncy after getting a feature. Tell me when it's ready! I'll nom it tonight if you message me that it is. Take your time. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 18:57, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks! I'm only online for an hour or so more, will spend it on that page. Mimo quit???!!! He had fun here though, and met some good people. I'm the one that kept his secret that he was only 12 years old, and he won Noob of the Month and Photochopper of the Month while 12! A great story in itself. Will get back to you here before I sign off today. SPIKE, we hardly knew ye! Thanks once againy. Aleister 18:06 4-7-'11
Spike was my eternal slave. Ever realized when a user leaves that you feel guilty that you haven't spent enough time with them? Yeah, I never felt that with Spike. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:35, 8 August 2011

edit Hey, you

Tag, you're it. *runs away and hides* --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:04, 4 August 2011

"It" sticks to Lollipop with some kind of super glue, so as he runs he does not know that "it" goes with him. Matt, I've done some editing on Puddle of Shit, and must leave this computer soon. I took out the opening quote, if you like it please put it back. The page was originally by The Dit, and he deserves a half-nom too because of the template and language he left for me to save from VFD. If you could proof it for spelling that wood be grate. Thanks again! Wish I could do more, but all for now. Enjoy not going to work, a preferred state of affairs. Aleister 20:12 4-7-'11

edit ChiefjusticeDS is a lazy sod and has paid the ultimate price... an UnSignpost Coup

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

edit Oh Hey

So I think I'd like to take you up on your offer. My article on Confidence is finished and I'd love some feedback before I publish it (which I should probably also figure out how to do). What do you think? --Mattityahu 20:58, August 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Dude

Hey Bro! Hope you're well. Do you know about John Belushi? He was like a funnyman's Elvis, in that he is iconic for comedy. I started a page for him HERE but it only has the intro. It needs the body and completion. Did you ever see this guy act? Blues Brothers...!? Lived fast died young and made a huge impression. Let me know if you're interested to Collab on it. You have a couple Noms on VFH now that I wanted to vote for but just didn't really care for them. But I didn't vote against, mind you. As soon as you have another winner I'll be there for you. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:24, Aug 8

I redid the old one and now it looks better than before. I think it is a collab with Madmax, although you're welcome to join in. You're running hot these days. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:52, Aug 9
Well, I won't be able to for a week, since we have that competition going! Let's see afterwards bro! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 17:06, August 9, 2011 (UTC)

edit Canadian article idea

Why not Canada's Wonderland? I used to go to that place when I was a kid. Ever heard of it? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:01, 9 August 2011

We'll talk about that after the comp... And why is everybody storming off as said in the Unsignpost? Do you have a link when you said you would leave? I hope you won't :S Snowflake mini Mattsnow 18:04, August 9, 2011 (UTC)
Don't know. Perhaps lack of interest or something. At least i'm still here. I don't plan to right now. Of course, we can't all be Happytimes and disappear at random during our activity. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 14:38, 10 August 2011
Yes, we should all be joyful like Shabidoo and Aleister. I was on the brink of leaving 2 times also, though I didn't say :/ I hope Al comes back soon! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 14:49, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit Swearing in Chicks

Can you point out a few instances where you feel it's gratuitous? To be fair, your criticism is definitely valid in a basic way, but I tried to keep the tone and prose very even by always using "fucking," "chick," and "fella" in instances when other words would suffice just as well, so in a way gratuity was a conscious decision. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 12:00, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

uPON SECOND READ, IT'S NOT THAT BAD EXCEPT MAYBE FOR PLACES LIKE THERE'S 2,3 OR 4 IN a ROW (ooops, Caps Lock) It is just hilarious nonetheless! I like the blue chick! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 14:24, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit WARNING

WARNING WARNING WARNING FROG ALERT FROG ALERT...YOU MAY BE A FROG...DONT PANNIC...STAY CALM...LOOK IN THE MIRROR...DO YOU SEE A FROG...IF SO YOU ARE A FROG...NOW PANIC!!! PAAAAAAAANIC!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 16:12, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

OH NO NOT A FROG EVERYBODY RUN AND HIDE!!!! --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:41, 10 August 2011
Found him! --Black Flamingo 18:00, August 10, 2011 (UTC)
LOL! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 21:29, August 10, 2011 (UTC)
Ribbit. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:16, 10 August 2011

edit Hey,

I forgot to tell you thanks for nomming me for SotM and WotM. It looks like you'll win WotM, but I'm a shoe-in for SotM! Thanks again. --Tophat headless 17:07, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit More rubbish Australian Prose because ChiefjusticeDS got stabbed in the buttocks by a rioter with a felt-tip pen

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit The Big Crunch

Dark-matter

Thank you very much for the vote. Because of Dark Matter you have nothing to fear. Cheers!

Dude, I'll try my hand at the 9/11 article after it has a Pee Review. It's already pretty good. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:21, Aug 11

edit Thanks for the slap in the face

I can never get enough of face slapping. *Slaps self in the face*. Oh yeah! Thanks for dropping in. I read the minigolf thing, its groin grabbingly funny. The video was hilarious too; it’s hard to believe someone could get exited over minigolf. I think you guys will probably win the comp given your all star line up but good luck anyway. Don't forget to eat your vegies. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2. 10:34, August 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit Sup

Haven't talked to you much of late with school and all. But nice edit count might give MadMax some competition :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 11:04, August 15, 2011 (UTC)

I'm trying to beat the highscore! LOL I'm trying to help him with the UN:REQ, I'm too lazy to write. I was thinking, your vacations down there must be the same way your head is: upside down? So does that mean your 2 months vacation from school will be in December/January? Snowflake mini Mattsnow 11:19, August 15, 2011 (UTC)


edit --

This. A (Ruins) 23:00, August 15, 2011 (UTC)


edit AAAAAAA!!!!!!

Hello participants,

You have been chosen to continue onward to the Second and Final Round. In other words... START WRITING YOUR ARTICLES NOW YOU ONLY HAVE THREE (count'm, 3) DAYS TO WRITE YOUR LAST TWO ARTICLES AND ITS ALL TKF'S FAULT BECAUSE HE SHORTENED THE CONTEST TO THE 25th SO HURRY HURRY HURRY!!!!!!!!!

Thanks,

A (Ruins) 22:37, August 16, 2011 (UTC)

(p.s. tell ur teamates)

7 days. --ShabiDOO 00:52, August 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit Now it only wants you gone; it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created HowTo:Strength Train, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


edit That howto with the really long name

Considering how you voted for it on VFH the previous time and against this time and I tried to improve it in the interim, I have to ask - did I really make it worse in my attempts, or have your views simply changed for other reasons? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 03:37, 21 August 2011

WTF I voted anything Nothing serious here at all. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:45, August 21, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 23:35, 21 August 2011
Sorry, I was just seriously drunk. :S Snowflake mini Mattsnow 10:49, August 22, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hey, Matt, dude! Thanks

Thanks for the Nom, bro! And the YouTube... I have seen all those skits, but put together like that makes a powerful statement. I was going to post on Facebook, and then changed my mind - they're watching. The only reason they don't care about this place is because we pretend we're joking. Hehe!!! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:30, Aug 21

edit Puddle of shit

Puddle of shit has stalled but at a good number, thanks for the nom!!! I added a new section near the bottom, "And then there's this..." which seems to give the page a moral reason for existing. You are doing so well this month that I hesitate to say fuck you, but I will do so anyway. 'tared and feathered, Aleister 17:26 20something-8-'11

edit Wonko tiddlybum-post

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

edit Pee Bad things have happened recently‎

Thanks a lot buddy! You really gave me some amazing suggestions and you obviously spent time on the review. I appreciate it a LOT LOT LOT LOT LOT! Uncyclopedia hugs! --ShabiDOO 22:09, August 28, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, I am honored as you can see I am not one to whine, but I'd rather suggest, btw, when you're through touching up the article, I'll nom it if you want. Or you'll nom it and I'll vote for, either way, give me news about this. It is a good one! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 22:19, August 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello.

Why, hello there. Hi! BVI 01:05, August 30, 2011 (UTC)

Hey hi :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:20, August 30, 2011 (UTC)
And how should one be doing on such a hot summer day, where all snow gets melted? Hi! BVI 20:53, August 31, 2011 (UTC)
By the way:

TAG
You're it. Hi! BVI 23:16, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit Psychotrooooooooooooooopic

MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW

MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW MATTSNOW The preceding unsigned comment was added by Shabidoo (talk • contribs)

edit We did it.

We got Mini-golf featured. I guess we should start awarding half feature credit, thanking the voters and getting Horseshoes (game) ready for featuring! --Tophat headless 02:29, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

Yes! I gave you and I the credit, BF doesn't want any and neither does Oliphaunte... (See their TP) I knew people would like that article! :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:31, August 31, 2011 (UTC)
Well, do you want to thank the voters, or shall I? --Tophat headless 02:41, August 31, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, thank them if you want! I've never done that, I am far too lazy hahaha. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:46, August 31, 2011 (UTC)
KKK. --Tophat headless 02:48, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit You and I shot a hole-in-one!

It appears that you co-wrote and voted for Mini-golf, which ended up getting featured. All of Uncyclopedia would like to thank you from the bottom of their hearts (well... maybe somewhere around the middle, but you get what I mean) for being so goddamned awesome. Hope your career as an awesome writer is long and prosperous. --Tophat headless 03:11, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit Mailman's here! Lock up your daughters and horny middle-aged Wives!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit 1st prize- Smart Guys Get It.

And I had spent RM10 ($3.3333333333333333....) on making this shit template.

UNCYCLOMANIA logo
Phallic stadium01
FIRST PRIZE
Congratulations on winning the Uncyclopedia Summer Extravaganza!
Keep this and go insane all over!


Belantara- Dewi04:28

Belantara- Dewi

425


Plus I had spent my remaining RM15 on this.
GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kemador CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 09:40, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit HowTo:Be a purebred American

Hey Matt. I was just wondering if you could edit my article HowTo:Be a purebred American? --Lucyfer & his friend, Wlado! 20:02, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

Err, I'm having a hard time finding time to write, so I think you'd better ask somebody else bro! :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 23:58, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit WotM nom

Hey man. Thanks for nomming me for Writer of the Month. I really appreciate it even though Magic Man's probably gonna win. Anyway, have you seen my latest article? It's up on VFH right now. That's it. Thanks again! :) --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 03:38, September 3, 2011 (UTC)

edit Colorless green ideas sleep furiously

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously

You voted for Colorless green ideas sleep furiously on VFH. Maybe now us ideas will be a little less furious.

Thank you! --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 11:53, September 4, 2011 (UTC)

edit Pee Review

thanks once again buddy for the really really awsome pee review. You are on fire man. Seriously! Im going to have to review one of yours really soon to pay back the favour! Rah rah rahhhhhhhhhhhhh! --ShabiDOO 14:35, September 4, 2011 (UTC)

edit Salutations, and other complications

“Who died?”
~ Oscar Wilde, regarding this template

Felicitations

It is apparently de rigueur to spam a user's talk page with templates, if that user has voted for your article on VFH, or has other-services render'd. As you have apparently done something of this sort, here is your reward: a plain, black box with white lettering, thanking you in a generic fashion for what you have done.

(Signed) Bizzeebeever

P.S. Yes, your suspicions are correct, this template is utterly unoriginal.

edit This UnSignpost brought to you by... uh... fairy dust? Hmm, we seem to have run out of sponsors.

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:12, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit Olympian Thanks

edit PSL

Hey Mattsnow...the Poo Lit Surprise competition is happening soon (this is the biggest competition on uncyclopedia). There are several categories and you can enter them all. There is a colab category (two users). Would you be interested in doing a colab with me!??!?!? --ShabiDOO 14:22, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

I was on that page also, reading the rules LOL, yes I am interested! So where do we sign? I am sure the organization is gonnna be a lot better than the last one (not very hard thing to do) Did you work on PS5 and the bad thing UnNews? They were hilarious! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 14:26, September 8, 2011 (UTC)
Hahaha...thanks man :) Well...I hope PLS doesnt start in the next week...because Ill be on the road with very limited internet. In any case...we can already start comming up with possible topics...though as with the last competition...I doubt that we could share ideas, strategies and what not. Though maybe I should ask chiefjustice just to be sure! I've worked on the bad things article. I liked your changes. As for these articles...I tend to write them in about 5 minutes, and then take about 5 months to work on them slowly from time to time. I really like to feel comfortable with the article before I nominate it :)
Ill ask cheifjustice now about the competition rules! ROCKA ROCKA ROCKA!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 05:36, September 10, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, we're a team!!! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:15, September 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit Dude

Yes, the article you took off the recent news template was an inside joke -- it was supposed to be the end of the god-awful Porridge the Bear series, which itself was a horrible, drawn-out inside joke. I say, either put it back up, or remove the other seven articles in the series, too. You're making me lose face in front of Izbeenoneweek. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 23:21, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

FFS, don't tell me the drama is starting already, man. I have been mandated by Lyrithya today to keep an eye on UnNews, and I felt this particular one was very lulzy, but it was too much of an inside joke to be on the front page, though I liked it a lot. I am also asked to check the UnNews that people put on the template, and all of the UnNews about Polar bears and Gaddafi made me laugh, so of course they are still there. It's just that this particular UnNews should be read by Uncy contributors, but the average guy landing on the front page will not understand anything since it is so much of an inside joke. But as you can see, I left all the other UnNews there ( since they were good, more than good but you seem to have a fetish with polar bears lol). I'll just check on the UnNews stuff from time to time as a job delegated to me, but don't think I am some kind of UnNews boss (well I guess I'll be the closest to that, but it's just a trial on my part. If you have complains, you can address Lyrithya's talkpage, but seeing your writing, I think you are smart enough to see why it was deemed as an inside joke the average reader would not understand. Plus I like Polar bears, they should eat Gaddafi. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 23:46, September 8, 2011 (UTC)
No no no, I wasn't meaning to start any drama.
I actually wrote the article you removed to be less inside-jokey than the others; I used general terms and linked all the names I named to their user pages. I was hoping to end the polar bear series, for once and for all. Oh, well.
P.S. Polar bears? I could take 'em or leave 'em, not really a huge fan. My original article was the one about the chick punching a bear in the face to save her dog, and then Izbeenoneweek started the polar bear thing. And it went downhill from there. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 00:02, September 9, 2011 (UTC)
Ok, since I liked your inside joke article, how about we come to an agreement? Put that inside joke as the 5th article on the template, and then it will slide. (Do it yourself). If you do as I said, it is alright, but put it as the 5th one, not the first one. Peace! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:29, September 9, 2011 (UTC)
That's ok, I'll just leave it off. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 00:33, September 9, 2011 (UTC)
But it is removed from the front page, not from UnNews, and I must say I am sure a handful of regular users (those you mention in the article) would like to read it, and they are more that likely to read it on a Forum, or even really better, on the Unsignpost, which I think ChiefJustice is still running. The Unsignpost really needs ideas in these times. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 01:18, September 9, 2011 (UTC)
Hmm, submitting it to unsignpost...there's an idea. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 02:36, September 9, 2011 (UTC)
Err sorry I already did it, but if you add to it, it sure will get there. You write well, maybe you don't know me, Go see on my userpage, I have some good articles too. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 04:07, September 9, 2011 (UTC)
I read your articles all the time. ⇒»Biz E.B. Ver Icons-flag-us (gabble) 13:56, September 9, 2011 (UTC)

edit Do you like pudding?

Bloody hell, I swear all the tab things lost some padding. How did I even get here? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 03:10, 14 September 2011

LOLWUT? Speaking chinese there. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:11, September 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Now with free bacon!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, September 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Corpsearian

Noooooo problem with an abstain or no vote, the page needs work and I've been so MIA here that nobody to blame but me (and you). You seem very active, iz the best news here, aside from Mordillo finding his way back. Have you met Mordillo as yet? If you haven't, don't. Truer words... Hope to be on longer at some point soon. Geese. Aleister 18:33 15-9-'11

Well, I kinda fall prey sometimes to edit rages. I haven't met Mordillo, it seems a lot of old geezers are coming back! Well, we got plenty of wheelchairs around. and I have progressed in the ranks (bow before me): I have rollback and I am the UnNews "checker" (which means I remove UnNews from the FP template if it's absolute crap or written in Turkmenistani. Really not a fascist dictatorship there. Are you overwhelmed with work or do you have the Uncy blues? Your awfully depressing presence is missed! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 20:47, September 15, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, but it is a fascist dictatorship now. I took over and declared myself High Lord and everything. Granted, I was drunk and had locked myself in Funnybony's bathroom at the time, but still. Dictatorship. Not that it changes much; you keep doing what you're doing, etc etc wait, how did I even get here? And where are my clothes? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:22, 16 September 2011
Hail Lyrithya! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 01:38, September 16, 2011 (UTC)
YEAG! Hair! *passes out* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:40, 16 September 2011
Er, hail. I meant 'hail'. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:40, 16 September 2011
Don't make me hit you with a frying pan, Lyrithler! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 01:51, September 16, 2011 (UTC)
*hails on Mattsnow* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:58, 16 September 2011

edit 9/11 report report

Hi Matt, I just noticed that 9/11 didn't make it. When I voted for it I remember thinking it needed a more comprehensive approach. It was too short and could use a double treatment like we did with the Grove. For example, I think it would be better as a 9/11 Report Report. It has a lot of potential for sarcastic humor. What do you think? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:18, Sep 19

Yes, no problem! Just when I was thinking there's no way this will ever pass, a knight in shining armor comes! Give it you best shot! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:49, September 19, 2011 (UTC)
And speaking of conspiracies, did you read my latest one, MKULTRA? Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:52, September 19, 2011 (UTC)

edit Your pee

You seem to be confused that the protagonist of I don't feel well is 5 years old. It is merely a flashback reference that it is the reason the dad is not living with them, as it happened a long time ago. Just clearing that up with you. The boy is supposed to be 12 to 13-ish. I mean, how could a 5 year old do all that kind of crazy stuff? How could a 5 year old play with dead bodies? --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 20 September 2011, at 03:09

You sir, have obviously not seen the movie Lovely Bones. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 03:57, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
I know I did when I was 5... Snowflake mini Mattsnow 04:03, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
Aye, when I was 5, I was marching along to Sesame Street, Barney, and Dudley the Dragon. --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 20 September 2011, at 04:19
And at what age did you begin playing with dead bodies I wish to ask? --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 04:21, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
In my mother's womb, I played with my dead twin's body. You'll never know whether this is real, or just part of my sick and horrifiying humour. --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 20 September 2011, at 04:23
I think we all can guess which one it is. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 11:45, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
Lollipop is in fact 2 conjoined twins. They fight to type. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 12:13, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
Conjoined twins eh? My conjoined twin has one of them. What's his name again? Err... Black flamingo11, that's the guy. He's a handsome chap if I remember rightly. --Black Flamingo 16:26, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
My conjoined twin's conjoined twin is in fact not a conjoined twin. --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 20 September 2011, at 19:45

edit PLS

Shall we do a collab together? --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 16:16, September 20, 2011 (UTC)

I would have loved it, but I'm already engaged to Shabidoo (see above section PSL, I guess he meant Poo Surprise Lit) We celebrate our union in the Sistine Chapel. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:43, September 20, 2011 (UTC)

edit Pee Week

This user took part in Pee Week 2011 and finished with a positive score.

In recognition we hereby award them the title and rank of "A rather spiffing chap". Envious? Want to get templates, fans, stuff and more?

Review something! It's more fun than eating!

Whirlingstar


Thanks for helping out, now you can chill-out! Hahahahaha. It's funny because you have the word snow in your user name. --ChiefjusticePS2 08:06, September 21, 2011 (UTC)

Please read HTBFANJS, Mr. Justice! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 07:03, September 22, 2011 (UTC)

edit Brought to you by Lion Bars! It's the UnSignpost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 07:45, September 22, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hellos!

I just read your review. Thanks! I almost gave up hope. I'll fix it then turn it into urine again.--DeRaza360 08:20, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

Haha, you're welcome! I've done much Pees this month I'll go see what it was again. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 08:27, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

Oh yeah, I just remembered, did you think the 'animal' references should be kept in or out?--DeRaza360 08:35, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

Out, I think, I really was confused with that... Could you explain where that came from? Snowflake mini Mattsnow 08:37, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
Well, as a part of my 'research' I took a look at the old DS articles to see if there were any good jokes or traits I could modify and include. Guess that one failed. Whoops, I just found out the old DS article was deleted... It referred to the DS as 'an animal created by Nintendo'. I thought it was funny, but then again I find watching a goldfish swim funny...--DeRaza360 09:01, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit Reviews

You seem to be a regular reveiwer these days, so I'm gonna ask for you to do something that should help out Lyrithya with the pee maintenance. When you finish a review, please add it to User:Cajek/Pee/Maintenance Table and one of the maintainers will judge whether is counts as in-depth or not. It'll basically help with the finding all the reviews over a given month saving her and others a lot of time hopefully. But just add them to the list and nothing else... ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 02:53, September 24, 2011 (UTC)

Alright, bro I'll keep that link! We sure swept away a lot of Pee Reviews this month. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:57, September 24, 2011 (UTC)
Lol yeah. I hope to do more now, I'm on holidays finally. And the trial School Certificate if over. I tread the upcoming actual exam in 7 weeks. I may actually finally disappear for a while... ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 03:07, September 24, 2011 (UTC)

edit PLS

Hey Matt...im really sorry budy...but I wont be online for the next three or four days. I'll edit our article then. Okay sorry again? The article is going great so far :) TTYS.

edit H'lo

Hi Matt, good to "see" you. There you are, at the next terminal. Yes, it's me, the grey haired old lady across from you who is now running her foot up your calf. What's this about talk pages being changed??? I fear not only the worse, but fear the best as well. Do you have any moral objections to killing a guy? If not, I'll send you the name and photo. Thanks. Aleister 17:31 28-9-'11

Wow, slack off on the coffee, I can hardly distinguish what is serious in what you wrote, although it's entertainig! My best guess is that at least that thing about the talkpages seem legit. What is this? I totally didn't know about that... Do you have a link for that???
On another topic, will you write something for Poo Lit surprise? I collab with Shab on the "collab" (duh!) part of the comp, and I have a good one I think for best article. You are pretty missed here man. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:11, September 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit "Oh, God! But why...in the balls?"

I'm going to keep posting my thanks until you give up and just take it! Hahaha!

edit Hold onto your wage packets! It's the UnSignpost!

Please accept our apologies for its belated delivery. ; ) Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:24, 29 September 2011

edit Cheers

Thanks for the edits to the Tevez story. The headline now makes sense! Also, I'm not sure what's to be done with the Recent News Template (I did leave a message on the Talk Page). But if I'm not supposed to be self-adding then please let me know. Keep up the good work: I think your attitude will reap a lot more contributors. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:30, September 30, 2011 (UTC)

edit Thanks

Hi Matt, thanks for the prize. Much appreciated. Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:06, Oct 1

edit Article for PLS

I really like what you have done so far. I like the idea of putting the trivia section at the end. It seems random...but in a good way. We just now need to tighten up the whole thing...try to add funny to everywhere possible :) ROCKA ROCKA ROCKA !!! --ShabiDOO 08:50, October 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit Yeah, um

Please don't go around {{IPjoin}}ing IPs after they've only made just one edit. That's not really what that template is intended for Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:41, 2 October 2011

Just addressed this on the IRC... Weird... SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 13:43, October 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit You nommed me for WotM... again!

Hey Mattsnow, thanks for once again nomming me for WotM! I'm up against HauntedUndies again. Oh deja vu! --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:28, October 2, 2011 (UTC)

LOL, HauntedUndies is your Nemesis!. Speaking of Resident evil, I should write an article about this... Great idea! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 09:07, October 3, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello!

May I twiddle your article slightly? If so, I'll let you know when I'm done, at which point you can see if you like my changes.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Oct 5 '11 22:56 (UTC)

If you want to, go ahead, no prob! There's always the revert button lol Snowflake mini Mattsnow 23:17, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
Ok, done.
...don' hit me! Don' hit me!  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Oct 6 '11 0:59 (UTC)

edit A day late, because ChiefjusticeDS got lazy: The UnSignPost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 01:37, October 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Obama hopeful to dadada

Thanks for the praise, dunno how to fix that template error. Now that I finished it do you think it's worth the trip to vfh? Also that doping in sports article had me choking when I read it. The Armstrong section was class. --Nikau 01:52, October 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Recently

Has anyone said recently what a treasure you are for this site? No? Then I won't either. But jeez, dude, you have been on fire since you arrived here. And thanks for killing that guy for me. Nobody has missed him yet, and the authorties will probably never find out. You are a fuckin' genius at wet work. Aleister 16:52 7-10-'11

Aleister...Mattsnow is not a fucking genius. He is a fucking fuck genius who also fucks geniusness with his fucking! I nominate Mattsnow for president for eternity of everything (after Lollipops turn ofcourse). --ShabiDOO 19:04, October 7, 2011 (UTC)
My ego is gonna get so big, it won't be able to go through doors! I read the 911 sandwich thing, it is really awesome! I tried to go on the petition for the talkpage thingie, but my browser crashes everytime since we have Christopher Colombus' era Internet here. This is a travesty. I am picketing in the streets!!! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 20:26, October 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit MKULTRA

I hope I spelt that right. Anyways, I read it awhile ago on the dunny at work and then forgot to vote but now it's not of VFH anymore so have a spiritual Symbol for vote For. instead. Also, I've decided to tweak this and try to make it sound more newsy. I'll annoy you again when it's done. Oh, for the record, you was robbed in the PLS, Door handle rocked my jocks. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2. 00:59, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, I am telling you, that UnNews is feature worthy. I don't know by which twist of fate, and I am not alone who thinks this since I saw the Pee Review. Shabidoo also did awesome work on doorhandle, but some people like fancy prose over bluntness and Shab and I don't have a Shakespear touch (pretty sure there's a typo in "Shake-Spear"... or is it "Shakes-Pear?) Tell me when you want me to nom it bro. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:00, October 8, 2011 (UTC)
Hey, I've finished giving it a bit of a touch-up, whadayathunk? The PLS is great as it promotes the writing of quality articles, however, the winners are judged by only three people and everybody's got their own opinion on whats funny so your article might've won with different judges. Let VFH be the ultimate judge, I'll nom it for you when the comps over. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2. 02:28, October 8, 2011 (UTC)
Cool! Shall I nom the beast now? Also, did you read the Unsignpost? They want to get rid of talk pages... Also, do you want to go on IRC? I'm alone in my shack in the middle of the woods and bored as hell. No bears nearby. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:34, October 8, 2011 (UTC)
Getting rid of talk pages? But how will I abuse ethnic minorities? Ah crud!Yeah, nom it if you can be bothered. I'm not sure how to use IRC though, I clicked it once and it came up with some error or something. I don't have time right now, but I might try again tomorrow. Surely you can find some snow beavers to annoy. Also, make sure you collect all your acorns before hibernation OK. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2. 03:19, October 8, 2011 (UTC)
IRC would be a quick way to exchange vital informations, like the Holy Grail location and the secret of the Caramilk. Just try the 3rd option (Freenode thing) and register as they say (when you have time, of course). If a guy that had his first PC 2 or 3 years ago like me can do it, I'm sure you can! And nomming it right now, watch them flock to it like lions on a carcass (bad analogy) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:31, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit You voted for Subliminal stimuli, which got featured!

A million thanks! --Tophat headless 03:40, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hey,

It is me on IRC. --Tophat headless 04:10, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Obama: "Iran will have a nuke by 2167!"

I don't get why they voted it down; if any of funnybony's stuff can get on, that one sure could. Although, Monika's comment about the Hillary Clinton quote might have had some merit. Hillary's generally pretty boring. Joe Biden might be more the type of the relentless self-aggrandizer who would sell his own products during a comment on national security!

Then again, it coulda been my changes that torpedoed the whole thing...so maybe you shouldn't listen to me.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Oct 11 '11 23:26 (UTC)

Yeah, sorry for being negative here, but it seems everything I write recently, I laugh the whole way while I'm writing, being really certain it is good and when somebody else weighs on it, it turns out it is unfunny crap. I thought User:Mattsnow/HowTo:Snowboard your way to awesomeness! was awesome and spent a lot of time on it for the PLS: didn't even crack the top 5 on ANY judge's scorecard: I thought UnNews:Obama: "Iran will have a nuke by 2167!" was hilarious: got trashed on VFH. I wanted really bad to win the PLS collab since Shabidoo was on my team and I would have loved for him to win something and worked at least 15 hours on the article. I still think it is hilarious, but a Shakespear piece was funnier. MKULTRA just got featured, but at least 5 of the for were weak to say the least. I am sober for more than a month and beginning to wonder if I was funnier while drunk! I am discouraged and feel like doing anything here will prove to be just a waste of time. I mean I can understand some people not liking my humor, but always being sure you wrote something great and being trashed afterward is discouraging man. I mean 4 times in a row! And also, I wrote a crapload of Pee Reviews, putting effort in them and people just shrug them off and do nothing. Sorry for the prima donna moment. I need a moment to think. As Shabidoo said, when you don't have fun on a comedy site (and that's the first time that happens since I joined) you have to take a reflexion moment, meet people with real faces. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:50, October 12, 2011 (UTC)
Cheer up, Matt. I've got writer's block bad enough to kill a blue whale — can a blue whale die from writer's block? I suppose one could, if it needed to write something that was a matter of life or death, but was unable to, due to the fact that it had writer's block...and lacked fingers with which to write the message. Uh...wow, how'd I get on the A-train to Tangentsville?
Anyway. Writer's block. In a matter of a month, I went from being able to blast an article out in 30 minutes, to feeling like every word I write is painfully unfunny and contrived. I'd eat a bullet, but I can't afford ammo right now. Shit, I can't even make me laugh anymore. At least you've still got that. The VFH thingy? VFH & co. are for auto-erotic ego stroking, and giving reach-arounds to the admins. (I kid, but only slightly.)
My Aunt Mabel used to tell just the most terrible, corn-ball jokes, and everybody would chortle and stare at her, at which point she'd mutter, "Well, it made me laugh, and that's all that matters." Never mind the got-dangeded awards, Matt. Just write.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Oct 12 '11 1:44 (UTC)
Go do some real people stuff!!! :) :) :) Come back once you feel normal. You'll see that what you just said is pretty exagerated. I think you assume that the VFH is any indication of if an article is funny or not. It's not personal, its a reflection of what kind of article a user wants to see on the front page, with a small dash of admin favouritism though its mostly the first. As much as we think our article should have won, there are two other users who disagree, it doesn't mean they didn't find our article not funny, just means they think the Admin's article was better over all. TKF even gave his reasons for it. Alternative criteria, but he's entitled to vote however he likes. As for your article on the snowboarding, if you want me to be direct with you, I think it was better than several of the articles that were voted for, but, it could use a bit of work. When I wrote my first PLS article on Ozone, I thought it was awsome and I could not understand at all what the winning article was about, but everyone loved it. The judges told me my article was too high brow, needed serious grammar and spelling corrections, cuts and more jokes. I spent 6 months tweaking it, got a good pee review, and it became a much better article and it got featured and its now my favourite article that I wrote (even though people seem to prefer Mahjong). Beethoven though his 8th symphony was better than its predicsesor the 7th, but the 7th is now famous and the 8th is rarely played. When the operas "elektra", "madama butterfly", and the balet "petrushka" were premiered, they had to call in the police as the audience hated them so much they started riots. They are all now the most performed classical operas/ballets.
The beauty of the diversity of opinion! You don't need people to tell you that you are valuable here and that people enjoy working with you and that your articles are mostly good and funny ... but if you are feeling insecure, well, I think you are valuable and I like your articles you big baby ;)
Go do normal people stuff for a while! --ShabiDOO 01:58, October 12, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks guys, it sure means a lot. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 05:00, October 12, 2011 (UTC)
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