User:Matthlock/archive1

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Cnorris WARNING:This user knows Chuck Norris and therefore must be either Mr. T, Chuck Norris, Oscar Wilde or dead. Proceed with caution!!!
This user is right-handed.

In Latin they would be Dexter.

Dexter
XrayLhand
This user is left-handed.
In Latin they would be sinister.
(List of left-handed Uncyclopedians)

FUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS IS SPARTA!
Straight This Uncyclopedian is happy to be 100% straight
Biblethumper This user is Baptist.
This user does not dance.
This user does not drink.
This user does not believe in fun.
Lovejoybox This user is a Christian

(as long as they put a dollar in the box)

US flag This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Paladin This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.
\m/ This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.
This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.


n00b This user is a n00b.
VERY OLD PERSON This user's real age is:
18 years, 10 months and 12 days.

Clock This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
3 years,  1 month and 24 days.

Lotus This user is a reincarnation of Kurt Cobain.

CaptainobviousRed

"This is a userbox. It gives you information about the user you are reading about."
~ Captain Obvious

Captain Obvious CaptainobviousChooseOption CaptainobviousRed

DogNewspaper This user subscribes to the UnSignpost: STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!
Guitar-22px This user plays guitar because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.
Afrogoat
This user likes goats.
Baaaaahaahaahaahhhh!
DenmarkViking This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.
TheJeeMan Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.
Windows Logo This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

Deadbarney3 This user believes Barney is evil and therefore must die.
GN'R This user is Welcome in the Jungle.
Brain This user's IQ is unknown.

0 This user has written 0 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

Answer to Life My edits: 5,074
MEH This user redefines lazy.

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Wtfkopie
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“Hallo Clarice”
~ User:Matthlock on his girlfriend
“OLD JUNK.”
~ User:Matthlock on the above
“Big Cheese, make me.”
~ Kurt Cobain on Matthlock
“Welcome to the Jungle.”
~ W. Axl Rose on this page
“Great movie, OR GREATEST MOVIE?”
~ Matthlock's brother on Commando
“He's Nica-phobic.”
~ That Moldovan chick on Matthlock
“Hello; and welcome to Uncyclopedia. I hope you enjoy your visit and decide to stay. Halló og velkomin til Uncyclopedia. Ég vona að þú njótir heimsókn og ákveða að vera. But whatever you do, do not see this article. For God's sakes, DO NOT SEE THIS ARTICLE. Really, no matter what urge you have, do not see this article. Trust me, it's for your own good.”
~ Matthlock on greeting Icelandic Uncyclopedians
“He's the coolest Australian I know, not to mention the only Australian I know.”
~ Matthlock on Frosty
“A real friend is the kind that follows you around wherever you go and barges into your conversations with other users.”
You know what, now that I think of it, their leader singer is kind of a pussy.”
~ Matthlock on Judas Priest
“Listen to these guys. I think you’d like them. They’re very……………………..uh, Scottish.”
~ Matthlock on the Jesus & Mary Chain
“What’s my drug of choice? Well, do you got some roofalin? Because I think I could use some.”
~ Matthlock on Alice in Chains
“Filming and screening, my picture the scene. Filming and dreaming, dreaming of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, yeah. Just dreaming of me. That’s all that I do – dream of me. I just dream of me every night. Except for some nights, when I’m dreaming of me banging a good piece of tail. Then it’s not just dreaming of me. But yeah, that’s what I do. I dream of me. Only me, just me. I dream of me.”
~ Matthlock on Depeche Mode
“By every count, definitely better than Modest Mouse.”
~ Matthlock on Built to Spill
“Got my foot bent to the floor, you can feel the engine roar. I got thunder in my head, I’m metal thrashing maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.”
~ Matthlock on Anthrax
“It’s my belief that ‘Flower’ is Headbanging Heaven
~ Matthlock on Soundgarden
“What is the best duet ever? Obviously, it’s ‘Lady Godiva’s Operation.’”
~ Matthlock on the Velvet Underground
“I’m an Öysterhead.”
~ Matthlock on Blue Öyster Cult
The Greatest Band in the World
~ Matthlock on Led Zeppelin
The Second Greatest Band in the World
~ Matthlock on Joy Division
The perfect music for a cruise.
~ Matthlock on New Order
“They’re like the Clash for Down Under, or is this group British too?”
~ Matthlock on Gang of Four
“I can't get enough of them.”
~ Matthlock on Iron Maiden
“Some people say that he wrote in a very simple style because he was trying to go against the standards that were then changing American writing. But I say that he wrote in such a simple, bland style because words like ‘the’ and ‘cat’ were the only words he knew.”
~ Matthlock on Ernest Hemingway
“This country should be renamed to ‘Brides Я Us.’”
~ Matthlock on Russia
“A guy from that country once came to my doorstep. All in all, I think that he was a scam.”
~ Matthlock on Estonia
“So wait, they were never part of the British Empire?!?”
~ Matthlock on Japan
“Although I have no real way of knowing, I know for a fact that there are people who live in this country
~ Matthlock on Azerbaijan
“The most broke-ass country in Europe.”
~ Matthlock on Albania
“The most unemployed-ass country in Europe.”
~ Matthlock on Macedonia
“The right testicle of Sweden.”
~ Matthlock on Norway
“So um, yeah, my business partner Joel was born in this country. No joke….”
~ Matthlock on Romania
“It's like digging through a junkyard with interesting stuff buried all over the place.”
~ Matthlock on mirror sites
“Have I seen the Andes? Foolish mortal! I created the Andes!”
~ Matthlock on thinking highly of himself
“Feel honored if your name is on here in any way, shape or form. Because that means you've made your way into my heart.”
~ Matthlock on this page

Lionel Hutz Sherman Smithee-silly-eyes Bernie Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street Dafydd el Map of romania Babyewok01 BestPicEver Nigger producer Ualuealualeualueale Blue Ball Factory Fmq

Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party Hard Party hard Party hard Party hard Party hard Party hard Party hard Party hard Party hard Party hard PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD PARTYHARD

VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY
 VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY
  VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY
   VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY
    VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY
     VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY
      VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY
       VOTE FOR THE RIGHT HONOURABLE FROSTY OR I'LL BE A DULL BOY

Oscar Oscar wilde mage Oscar amazed

US flag 600px-Flag of Australia 450px-Flag of Angola.svg Saflag Israeliflag Irish-Flag 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Mongolian-flag Flag of Andorra Wu-tang Feyd Clockwork orange small Joe Pesci Ponies Sucrose b StFgOCr Spinningweed Hitler insults Dancingshermasn FF3 Bahamut Prints money Retardness Retardness Retardness Retardness Retardness Retardness PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME PENUT BUTTA JELLA TIME Homerspin Homerspin Homerspin Homerspin Homerspin Homerspin Cowbell2 Cowbell2 Cowbell2 Cowbell2 Cowbell2 Cowbell2 Napoleon dancing LordOfTheRingsstory Simpsons-1 68643103ef5bc8f78880998dc71baffd Exploding-head Stfu teller Crazy dancing Thatsracist Kickoldwoman Z51905882 Usebiggergun Seattlesucked MrTcrazy Chuck norris punch Chuck norris America Anthrax sign The Doctor Kurt Kobain Japanfrance Jrrt 1972 pipe ECONOvan

EDpolice EDpolice EDpolice Mussolini Iancurtis Kafkametamorphosis Tceles b hsup LOTL-11 Soundgarden UKLanding01 Watch out if your name is on this list Gordon and paris Fuckyourwifesass And THIS is how you fuck a bear! Naked Lunch 2190 Iron-Butterfly-In-a-gadda-da-vid-79355 Napoleon Dynamite time travel Dempsey pwns Firpo Have-you-seen-this-boy Sleeping puppy

Talal of Jordan

Bouncywikilogo10
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about User:Matthlock.

High school student, superhero, godfather, lawyer, rapist, stalker, activist for the rights of the vertically challenged, comedian, Uncyclopedian, Wikipedian, Illogicopedian, Wookieepedian, novelist, short-story writer, alter-ego of Chuck Norris, assistant to Zeus, Communist, terrorist, holy diver, ladies' man and pimp, Matthlock is getting kind of bored and running out of things to do.

To talk to this legend, go see User talk:Matthlock

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