User:MatthewKone

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(The rise of Kone's Empire)
 
Line 44: Line 44:
   
 
==The rise of Kone's Empire==
 
==The rise of Kone's Empire==
After Kone was sent of the radar, all of the big companies tried to buy each of the Kone's Kone left behind. But when Kone came back onto the radar he bought back all of his former companies such as; Facebook, Twitter, MySpace,BWA and everything else. But also with that he bought out the companies off; Blackberry, HTC, Skype, Some people think Kone went to far with his purchase but he bought out World Wrestling Entertainment. Also he started up the new businesses of; Kone Record's, Kone's Solicitors, Kone Sports, Kone Mobiles and Kone Estate Agents.
+
After Kone was sent of the radar, all of the big companies tried to buy each of the companies Kone left behind. But when Kone came back onto the radar he bought back all of his former companies such as; Facebook, Twitter, MySpace,BWA and everything else. But also with that he bought out the companies off; Blackberry, HTC, Skype, Some people think Kone went to far with his purchase but he bought out World Wrestling Entertainment. Also he started up the new businesses of; Kone Record's, Kone's Solicitors, Kone Sports, Kone Mobiles and Kone Estate Agents.
   
 
== Declaration of War ==
 
== Declaration of War ==

Latest revision as of 22:18, August 25, 2011

187239_100002245068341_1596740_n.jpg

Kone in a photo-shoot (2011) .

The Matthew Kone also known as Jesus is a Manager If you see him, please phone the police due to him being a very dangerous man.

edit Background

Matthew Kone was brought in Kensington, his family was fairly wealthy with his father being a bin man and his mother, well he didn't know what his mother did but all he remembers is she came home every night with a wod of cash and had a fishy smell..

edit HWRP

It is unknown that in the past Matthew Kone did own HWRP. He owned it and got it to where it was today we should all be thankful for this and should appreicate for he has done for the role play world - we hope for the intrest of all the HWRP'ers and Kone and also the BWA'ers that he stays and continues to do what he does, because he does this best.

edit Mr Kone's problems with the law

Matthew Kone has had some run in with the law, he doesn't like to mention them but he has been arrested for the following Arson, Burglary, Murder, Sexual rape, Assault,

Kone is not proud for any of these and he did wish to bribe all the judges at to reverse their decisions but they didn't take any of it and sent him down.

edit People who have feuded with Kone

edit Hacking Martin

Hacking Martin and Matthew Kone were friends from the age of 9 when Martin taught Kone how to hack things and become a computer genius. However when Kone completed his final roleplaying course this led to Martin getting jealous of Kones achievements in the Habbo roleplaying industry. At the age of 15 and after years of putting up with Kones fame and success hacking Martin did try and hack Mr. Kone but failed miserably in which Kone had Martin arrested and sent to prison leaving Martin with the motto "Hackings the game, Prisons the pain". Nowadays they are on mutual terms and are on a speaking relationship and they send each other christmas cards.

edit Matthew Greer

Matthew Greer is one of the more popular members of BWA. He is often compared to Liam Gaskin or Boris Johnson for his charismatic 'man of the people' persona. Kone who was the orginal founder of BWA Did not like the way Greer was running things labeling him a "dictator" and an "orange twat" this lead to heat between the two and finally agreed to have a fight in the all famous Parking Lot. Upon entering the parking lot Greer and Kone fought hard with thousands of fans watching the much anticipated brawl. Despite numerous attempts by Kone to kill Greer, Greer drove over Kone in the hippy jeep and pinning him one, two, three. Upon Greers celebrations baby Kone emerged from the crowd and rumours suggest that baby Kone did actually pin Greer however no source can confirm this. With Kone persumed dead and fans left upset he shocked the world and returned and said he would get revenge on Greer however no rematch has been arranged to this date.

edit James

This was a short lived feud which started at XwE. Kone was called out to the ring as Hogan and was booked to face James who was roleplaying as Shawn Michaels. The match went on for some time with James trying his best to get the upper hand however Kone with his roleplay experience of being the master of every roleplay managed to hit the leg drop and defeat James therefore ending this half an hour feud and picking up his first and final win in BWA.

edit AL Qaeda (2011 - Present)

Following the death of notorious leader Osama Bin Laden Al Qaeda needed a new leader. Matthew Kone checked his local job listings and saw the vacancy for the leadership of the extremist group. Upon applying he was accepted without an interview and started leading Al Qaeda straight away promising to bring a "Whole new diverse genesis of Al Qaeda" and promised not to "Fuck about like the previous leader". Kone now lives in a cave in the area of Pakistan with the other Al Qaeda members after signing BWA Over to Matthew Greer however he still resumes his Facebook duties on a part time basis and says his sole focus is on making Al Qaeda a "True political force"

edit Loosing everything and regaining everything

In July 2011 Matthew Kone came to the YCW Arena where he was beaten to a bloody pulp by Matthew Greer and his legal attorney. Due to him being defenceless Mr. Blackman came and stole all his possessions and it was on that day Kone was declared dead. There was a funeral for him and numerous people attended such as Ronald McDonald, God, Jack the Ripper, Sonic the Hedgehog, George W. Bush, George Bush 2.0, The Joker, The Queen, Mary Magdalene, Madeleine McCann and Andrew Thompson. The funeral was broadcast on all channels all over the world and everybody watched as the leader and Al Queda was buried but however there mourning would be cut short as after a month of being in Hell Kone was kicked out of Hell for trying to buy it off Satan and was sent back to earth where he met with his four wives again and shagged the fuck out of Agnus because she was the only one with the good name he marked his return to earth by throwing a massive party in which there was live music by The Beatles, Frank Sinatra and David Cameron. He then resumed his duties as Al Queda leader and to mark his first day back on the job he decided to nuclear bomb Leeds and killed everybody there and he then used the land that was once formerly Leeds to build a massive ASDA. He then came back to Habbo and beat the shit out of Matt Greer, The Legal Attorney and Mr. Blackman with help from his freinds Mike Tyson, Jackie Chan and Mr. T. After that Kone had everything back his life, his money and businesses and he had his job back. He then had Mr. Blackman assassinated by fellow nigger Martin Luther King, Him and Greer kissed and made up by going to a Justin Bieber concert where they did loads of drugs and shagged loads of prostitutes such as Mary. Kone now has everything he lost back in his possession.

edit The rise of Kone's Empire

After Kone was sent of the radar, all of the big companies tried to buy each of the companies Kone left behind. But when Kone came back onto the radar he bought back all of his former companies such as; Facebook, Twitter, MySpace,BWA and everything else. But also with that he bought out the companies off; Blackberry, HTC, Skype, Some people think Kone went to far with his purchase but he bought out World Wrestling Entertainment. Also he started up the new businesses of; Kone Record's, Kone's Solicitors, Kone Sports, Kone Mobiles and Kone Estate Agents.

edit Declaration of War

In 2011 Al Qaeda - (owned by Matthew Kone)Declared war on Leeds (know where else except Leeds, because all people who live in Leeds have horrid grotty yellow teeth)Matthew Kone phoned up the mayor of Leeds and asked him why the all have horrid, grotty, yellow teeth. The Mayor didn't reply and hung up on him. Matthew Kone wasn't happy with the decision of the Mayor and he set his sights on exterminating the town of Leeds, Matthew failed in this.

edit Purchase of Facebook

After the death of his wife, he inherited over £5,000,000,000 and then he spent £5,000,000 on purchasing Facebook. This was a massive move in the business of Matthew Kone, he was already a massive entrepreneur but purchasing Facebook would make him the worlds wealthiest man. Matthew Kone gave some words to ITN and he said "The next business I am looking to try and purchase is either Microsoft or Sony, but we'll have to just wait and see"

edit Initial Attack

The attack opened with somebody walking about, Kone got the wrong town by accident and shot the town of Birmingham.

edit Kone's Television appearances

edit Secret Millionaire

Kone went onto secret millionaire with a goal to get away £1,000,000 Kone's dreams where fulfilled and he give away £1,000,000 to a man who lived in Leeds, his name was Simon Thompson - he is the father of Andrew Thompson. This man really needed the money and he didn't beg no-sire did he beg he kept on doing what he did best and that was, cleaning the streets from crime. With only one leg and one testical he does his job and he does his job very well. You'll never find a better cop than Simon Thompson (later in the show it was revealed he spent his money on alcohol and drugs).

edit Jeremy Kyle Show

When Kone appeared on Jeremy Kyle the world was shocked into thinking that the worlds most famous roleplayer was in need of guidance from Jeremy Kyle who for years has been on his show giving out advice to those in need. But in a shock turn of events it turned out that it was infact Jeremy Kyle who needed advice off Kone and thats why he was here on the show to speak to him. Upon giving Jeremy Kyle advice he broke down into tears and thanked Kone for his help. Kone was then spotted leaving with a women who was on the show before Kones apperance who needed advice regarding the baby she had with her husband (Who was 15 and she was 32) the women was called Judy and upon meeting at the Jeremy Kyle show they pair got married three months later and are still together to this date.

edit Who wants to be a millionaire

Kone also appeared on the UK Quiz show who wants to be a millionaire hosted by Chris Tarrant however he got the first question wrong as he did not know what the capital of England was he was elminated from the show. He later told the British newspaper the sun that the show is a scam and should ask more questions about roleplay and since then has demanded that no journalists interview him about what happened on who wants to be a millionaire.

edit The Royal Wedding

Kone made a appearance on the Royal Wedding, he was the best man of William. Mr. Kone is the nephew is the Queen making him the cousin to William. The BBC and ITV placed the face of Harry on Mr. Kone's body because Harry bribed them, but after the wedding Mr. Kone hired a hit-man under the name of Vladamir Pankro who attempted to assassinate Prince Harry but failed. Mr. Kone then told the police who killed him because Kone didn't want to pay him. Mr. Pankro got life in prison.

edit Personal Life

Kone owns various properties. He owns a slick six bedroomed house in London near his birth town, He owns a high rise flat in New York which is rumored to be worth $12.5 Million and his final property is one he recently bought in Pakistan which is a 10 Bedroomed cave where he now current resides and carries his duties as leader of Al Qaeda there. He met his wife Judy on the set of the Jeremy Kyle show after giving Jeremy Kyle advice after she had her divorce settled with her previous husband Kone and Judy got married in which famous celebrities turned up to the ceremony including Colonel Sanders, The Pope and the Kersal Massive.

As of 2011 due to becomming leader of Al Qaeda it is common practice that they have four wives, Kone however refusing to divorce his wife Judy agreed to marry the four women and keep Judy therefore having five wives. After months of speculation of who the four ladies were Kone appeared at a press conference to unveil them to the world and they were Laoro, Fladir, Trinocuo and Angus however Judy did not attend the press conference and lives in their London home. The other four live with him in his cave in Pakistan where they help him with his day to day activites as leader of Al Qaeda which include stealing cars, shooting people and robbing food.

Current Kone has one child and one step child. The step child was from Judy's first marriage with a 15 Year old boy whos identity is unknown but upon Judy divorcing the unnamed boy she was granted full custody of the step child which they later named Marshal-Clive Jr. In November 2009 Judy Kone confirmed she was pregnant with the couples first child together in the summer of 2010 the baby was born and was named Baby Kone who has started roleplaying classes just like his father did and was rumored to of even beat Matthew Greer is his own parking lot.

On 1/6/2011 It has been reveleaed that Matthew Kone has been having a afair with a secret wife in his house over in Italy, this became in the news when the sister of the wife told the press. The secret wife is called Stephanie and she works as a accountant in Italy. It is also reveleaed that he has 3 secret children, these are called; Luigi, Mario and Gary

edit The death of Judy

On 05/06/2011 Matthew Kone murdered his wife, he killed her with murder RP, he killed her because she wasn't happy with what she had told their child Marshall Clive JR. She came to his room and started to have a row with him so he turned towards Matthew Greer and grabbed the razer edged knife and then spun back to her and drove it into her gut, he took the knife through all her organs. She dropped then and then he used his mind on how to get rid of the body so he used gardening RP and grabbed a lawn mower and drove over her, and she was chopped up into mini pieces of meat. Matthew Kone got all her possessions and her money due to her not changing it to be left to her child, he was left; £5,000,000,000, all her homes, her yacht and their wedding picture. Matthew Kone inherited all this and spent £5,000,000,000 on buying Facebook of Mark Zukerburg


edit Media

Books:

Fucking No Seller ~ The modern day problems of a diverse utopia

Kones story ~ How to master every roleplay in 666 days

Liam Gaskin liberator? or destroyer? ~ The problems HWRP Face in a growing world of wrestling roleplay


Albums:

We Don't Kone About! - The Kone (2006)

Kone n Run On A Full Stomach! - The Koneation and moon-pig. (2010)

Cos We Knows How TA RAP" (2011)


Singles:

You got a Kone in me - The Pixel Life (2006)

Kone and lads - The Kersal Massive (2007)

Al-Qaeda sing out along - Al-Qaeda {2009}

9 O'Kone Bedtime Can Go Fuck Itself - Diving board madness (2009)

Suck on my chocolate kony balls - Kone madness(2010)


Movies

The Kone and Girl

Slap that bitch (2009)

White Men Can't Rap - But Kone can Wank 2010)

Personal tools
projects