User:Matt lobster/Used Goods1
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We're not all millionares. A lot of us can't afford to buy everything new. That's why used goods can be a tempting alternative. The second hand market is not without its pitfalls, and it is important to be aware of typical defects that can affect various items.
edit Used Entertainment Products
Second hand CDs and vinyl are very popular purchases. Of course you have to be very careful, because wear and tare will take it's toll, especially on older albums. It is well known that older copies of What's the Story Morning Glory by Oasis suffer from erratic drumming and Noel singing his songs in Greek. On badly looked after copies of The White Album, McCartney stumbles over several of the words in Helter Skelter and is heard to shout "Fuck it, I really can't be arsed". On copies of Led Zeppelin IV that have not been kept in the album sleeve, Stairway to Heaven is considerably less ground-breaking and is covered by Tom Jones.
It is incredibly important to only buy second-hand DVDs that are in a condition of nearly-new. Any scratches on A Few Good Men often cause Jack Nicholson to admit that "You probably can handle the truth." Shawshank Redemption is especially susceptible to dust which can cause Andy Dufrain to hang himself with his cock hanging out, rather than escape from Jail. In damaged copies of Cocktail, Brian Flanagan is played by Christopher Lambert instead of Tom Cruise and he works in a working-men's club in east-Glasgow. Battered copies of Apocalypse Now can suffer from a hugely reduced morale subtext and may even have a coherent plot.
edit Used Countries
Buying a country in a new condition can be richly rewarding. But to be perfectly honest, most brand new countries are well out of the price range of your average punter. This tends to force one into the murky world of the second-hand market. Things to look out for are high rates of teenage pregnancy and an over strained transport infrastructure. Also raw sewage around a country's coast is a sure sign that this nation has seen better days.
It's always tempting to dismiss a dictatorship, but you can get real value from natural resources such as oil in these countries. Also dictatorships tend to make palaces out of solid Gold, and you may be able to attract some banging burds with this kind of action.
edit Used Women
Used women genuinely fall into two categories: Those that have learnt their lesson and those that haven't.