User:Maniac mcpee/Joey "Piglet" Warner

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Joseph Steven Warner "Piglet" (born July 10 1975) is considered the worst author ever. For some reason, every time someone reads one of his books, they take awful shits, nobody knows why...

He has a movie coming out soon.

Pigletmugshot

Piglet gets arrested in Warners' short story Piglet kicks a Policeman' (1993)

edit Early Years

Joey was born in Lexington, Kentucky; to Albert and May Warner. Joey got into writing at the age of six. His fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Tina Mellon, says "He wrote a lot of books in my class. One was called 'Feathers on a Bird', and he showed it to all the students. The next day, everbody came in making awful farts". The 6 page book is now being held by the U.S. government, in fear of what might happen to it.


edit Career

Joey then began to write short stories. His favourite character was Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. "He really like Piglet", says friend Gregory Sonenberg, "I recall he used to write about Trespasser Will, who used to own Piglet's house". This got him his nickname, Piglet.

His first book, not surprisingly called Tresspasser Will, was released in 1996. The plot can not be told, for various reasons. Many people had horrible movements with their bowels after reading the horrible book. This book has been banned in 128 countries, and is no longer availble on eBay.

He wrote two others books in the next 6 years, Fish Dies, and Pissy Cup, both are banned from libraries around the U.S.A.

His fourth book, called Two Sticks on Water, did better, but the results were worse. "My friend once came over and read it," said a person "and he spent the whole time in the John. I wonder why." Three people bought the book. They were a hobo, a stinky guy who dosnet take showers, and a guy named Brad Gorston,who was hit by a car while reading the book, the lemur behind the car was charged.

Two sticks on water

The forbidden book

Joey was in the midst of writing his fifth book in July 2009, when he was arrested for one year, after setting three toilets on fire and exploding toilets to make the bathroom smell like burnt poo. He came out in July 2010, and finished his fifth book, Tim Waters the Grass, so far only one person bought the book, it was the stinky guy that bought the other books.

An independent film about Joey called Tresspasser Will: The Life and Times of Joey Warner, was released in November 2010. It starred Shia Labeouf as Joey Warner and Bill Cosby as the book publisher. It also starred Jon Voight as a tree.

edit Bibliography

edit Short Stories Collections

  • Piglet Stories (1993)
  • Piglet ear rapes a cat (1995)
  • Piglet eats shit (No longer availble, 1997)
  • Oh d-d-d-d-dear! (2005)

edit Novels

  • Tresspasser Will (1996)
  • Fish Dies (1999)
  • Pissy Cup (2004)
  • Two Sticks on Water (2008)
  • Tim Waters the Grass (2010)
Personal tools
projects