From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Straight Girl, for the Queer Fucks
Pam Ann (aka: Fag-Whore)...Oh boy! What can you possibly say in a positive manner about Britain's #1 talentless
comedian whore? About all we could think of was to quote The Tourettes Guy and say "SHE'S GOT NICE ASS" but that is where our limitation ends with "compliments" that we can give a stupid cow up on stage in a Stewardesses dress playing to an audience of faggots and yelling out, "YOU'RE FAGGOTS". And before you try to go all "Politically Correct on the use of the word "Faggot"; we really do mean the actual term of homosexual men who don't find women sexualy attractive. Okay? We are using the term by it's actual meaning, and if it still pisses you off, fuck off & die you cocksucking faggot.
edit YOU'RE A FAGGOT, FAGGOT
Pam Ann is never listed in any straight persons top 100 comedians of all time. Because only "faggots" would find it funny for a lady to stand up on stage and be so vulgar as to call them "Faggots" to their face. If you are a homosexual, then you would find it rather naughty and invigorating to pay to sit in a theater with a bunch of other fags and have a talentless fuck like Pam Ann shout out things with such witty remarks like; "You are a cocksucker", "You fuck him in the ass" & "You smoke dick daily" which can only be laughed at by poofters themselves, but when you Analise Pam Ann's on stage material, you come to the quick conclusion that using "shock value" to scream out profanity at actual homosexuals, makes them all open their mouth, gasp, but yet, smile and cheer her on because she is being Soooooooo wicked*giggle* ... blurgh.
edit Shut Up, You Imagination-less Cunt
However, this is only funny TO faggots due to political correctness teaching us that we should not say such words; yet this talentless fuck makes an hour long show out of screaming out to gays, "HEY, YOU'RE QUEERS". There is no real comedic value behind any of this method. To further explain this, a good example might be; "Last night I saw this comedian, I heard something so funny, I was rolling in the isles, he told this joke about comparing Princess Diana to Pink Floyd, he said they both had huge hits with a wall" Where as audiences from a Pam Ann show get to take away "Oh it was hilarious, she called me a queer, and then told my friend he was a faggot! isn't she so funny!!!"... no.
Using the same 3 words; "cocksucker"; "faggot"; and "queer" every single time you are going to say something stupid to a bunch of dick-lickers, shows that she has no imagination or intelligence to work out that repeating the same word does not get funnier each time. In fact, it just becomes more annoying the more times you hear it. If she had any talent what-so-ever, she might come up with more constructive ways to call someone a queer, but in a funnier manner. Such an example would be "Frequent Visitor to Marmite Valley"; it would still have the same impact, show more creativity in the remark, and keep things fresh. But no, she feels she has to continue to milk the one and only topic she has going for her, leaving people thinking of her as someone with an I.Q smaller then the single digit of her Kleenex stuffed 12b breast size.
edit YOU'RE A TALENTLESS BITCH, BITCH
A "woman" saying "FAGGOT" to a bunch of actual faggots only gets a laugh from those who just don't expect a lady to say such things, we know we have already said that, but in tribute to Pam Ann, we figured we would just repeat the same bullshit over and over again without coming up with anything new to say. Fine, Okay.. we'll come up with something else, unlike Pam Ann can contemplate doing. Further ways to give an example of how Pam Ann wouldn't know what "funny" meant, even it rented space up her ass to a group of clowns; we ask you to think about your favorite comedians? How many of their jokes you can still remember? You might think of George Carlin, and we do apologize for mentioning his name amongst such a talentless fuck, but we are just using it as an example of what "funny" is. Now George is remembered for so many things; the "7 words"; "where to put my stuff", "Religions" etc.. now, thats only 3 of 100's of things we could chose to remember. But now try listing a minimum of 3 things Pam Ann has to offer; "calling faggots fags"; "calling poofters queers" and "calling cocksuckers a cocksucker" ... do you see the pattern emerging here? This is why most people who are not gay men, find Pam Ann to be nothing but a talentless fuck that couldn't make a person laugh even if a fudge-packer blew a cream-pie right into her face by sheer force of a fart gusting out of his ass at 100 mile an hour winds. Well, we may actually laugh then, but it would be AT her.
edit How Pam Ann COULD get funnier
It's impossible to imagine that Pam Ann could ever be funny, at least on her own. That's why she would need to become a side-kick! A side kick to .. lets say, a ventriloquist named Jeff Dunham. Now Jeff is a world famous Ventriloquist, and is great at throwing his voice, therefor, he could do the speaking for Pam Ann as he uses her as his dummy. Now you maybe thinking, "Huh? What the fuck?" but the idea to make this illusion work would be for Jeff to take the act of Ventriloquism up a level, and use a human puppet. All he would need to do is sew Pam's lips shut, so the diarrhea she speaks is contained, and then shove his fist up inside Pam Ann's cunt. Now he has a full working dummy that he can control the movement of, provide the voice for, and put a useless cunt to actual use. This method would be called "VAGtriloquism", and could prove that Pam Ann can be useful and funny at the same time!