User:Maniac1075/More about Maniac1075

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

edit A Cunt from a Cunt

It was a light & well weathered day back in nineteen hundred and eighty two when a hideously disgusting creature emerged from a woman's cunt that was actually being encouraged by Dr Richard Head at the "Six Sisters of Absolutely No Fucking Mercy" hospital located somewhere in that country shaped like a big fat arse.

We of coarse are talking about Maniac1075's mother and the day she vaginal-pooped him into the world. This event happened because approximately 9 months before hand his father's dick had entered his mothers vagina and deposited a sex-wee inside her. It was not until much later after the birth that people began to tell his mother that she should have swallowed that night.

Maniac1075 came busting out of his moms cunt and into the arms of Dr Dickhead. Now, in any normal circumstance, the new born infant would be handled with care, hosed down, wrapped in a blanket and handed to the mother... but not in the case of the birth of Maniac1075... no, at the moment Maniac1075 was almost squeezed out of the mothers axe wound, she let go an unexpected breakage of wind that caused her to pop Maniac1075 out of her moot and into the Doctor's arms, who was not ready for the catch, causing Maniac1075 to hurtle to the hospital's hard concrete floor. Luckily for Maniac1075 his skull cushioned the blow.

As Maniac1075 hit the floor with a thud. The Doctor just looked at the father with a blank look, blinked, went blank again, blinked, then licked his lips and casually picked up the kid, looked at it for a second, then looked at the father, blinked, gave a cheeky grin, and yelled out; "GO LONG, MOTHER FUCKER"

The father began running down the hallway of the hospital looking behind him at the doctor, running as fast as he could, elbowing two nurses out of the way and shoulder tackling the midwife off her feet into one of those expensive machines that go "PING"... the Doc threw a long pass son to the father who dropped the kid on the floor even harder then he had hit it before, but it didn't matter, the father picked up his kid and held him tightly under his arm, pivoting left and right, defending it from the Matron with the Massive Mellon's. He managed to fake a left then spin 360 around to the right, bypassing her and running full speed out the maternity door and down the next hall for several yards till he reached the geriatric ward, and that's where he stopped to spike Maniac1075 as hard as he could to the floor and yell, "TOUCH DOWN, MOTHER FUCKER!"

It was at this moment Maniac1075 spoke his first words, "We don't even play that fucking game in this country, Dad. Fuck you are embarrassing". The father then turned to his son, laying motionless on the ground in a pile of infant wreckage, and smacked him across the arse, saying; "Don't you use that kind of fucking language around me, cunt." this is why Maniac1075 responds to the word "Cunt" as being his name; because it's the first thing anyone ever called him.

edit The Degenerative, disrespectful, obscene, obscure, vulgar, disobeying, foul mouthed little cunt

Maniac1075 was the type of little prick who was always getting into trouble. And we really do mean that. Maniac1075 was grounded by his father even before he was even born yet!! (maniac, not his father, that would just be stupid an unborn man grounding his future son). Maniac's father had grounded Maniac for kicking his mother while he was in the womb. His mother told his father that the baby was kicking, and when the father places his hand on her tummy, he felt the kicking too... he then got mad and punched Maniac1075 as hard as he could and yelled out, "DON'T YOU EVER KICK YOUR MOTHER EVER AGAIN. WHEN YOUR GET OUT OF THEIR, YOU ARE GROUNDED, MISTER"

edit Catholic Upbringing

It surprises many people who have heard or read the intellectual and highly dignified writings of Maniac1075 that he the man could come from a Catholic background. But it is true, Maniac1075 was a Catholic... up until the age of reasoning.

Not too much is known about the times when he did attend Sunday School, apart from the several times his urinated in the holy water and took several dumps in the confession booths, but what is known is that in 2010 at aged 27, he filed a lawsuit against the priest who gave the sermons back in the days he attended Sunday School.

During this claim Maniac1075 said and quote; "I am just doing what I feel is right. As you know, many, many cases over the years have come up about Priests who molest and touch little boy's inappropriately. But my Priest never touched me! That is what this discrimination lawsuit is all about... us ugly kids missed out!"

Maniac1075 of coarse did not win the case, due to the fact he has an attention span about as long as his dick, which consists of the same digit that equals his I.Q level. He completely forgot to attend court that day. In fact, he forgot all about that entire day, and did not participate at all in that particular Thursday. When he did remember, it was on Friday... the following month. The Judge told him he was 37 days late and that the case was dismissed. Maniac1075 figured while he was their in the courtroom anyway, he may as well make the use of a court visit; so he told the Judge he wanted to be trialed for the time he raped a hooker. The Judge Okay-ed the verdict and charged Maniac1075 with 1 count of "shop lifting".

edit Musical Maniac

Don't get scared, we aren't about to go all gay in a faggotty sing-a-long-with-us on you. Now we already mentioned before that Maniac1075 is an established musician. His guitar style of playing is whats known as the Angus Young method. Meaning, if you ask him to play a cool Chuck Berry lick, he will kick some ass playing those minor pentatonic scales. However, why it's called the "Angus Young method" is because both of them can ONLY play the pentatonic scale... you ask Angus or Maniac1075 to play a major scale and you have more luck finding an episode of Sesame Street that didn't make Michael Jackson's panties wet.


He can be contacted on Facebook, but would you wanna speak to this cunt?

He may be a cunt, but he sure does a lovely bunch of coconuts!
Background information
Congratulations, you are now an official retard. You win no prize, just the satisfaction of knowing you are "speth-fucking-shall".
Imma Cunt
Background information
Did you know...
Manaic1075 is an atheist, and does not believe in what he refers to as "religious bullshit" but, even some things he can not explain. Like the time he saw an image of the Virgin Mary as clear as day in the cheese of a hookers cunt! Unfortunately when he reported the image, the media felt they could not show such a thing on television and the only person who sparked any interest in taking a closer look at the miraculous image was Pope Benedict himself. Maniac1075 just said "God works in Moot-cheesy-ness ways" before he licked the image off the Hookers moot and left saying, "Holy fuck! tasted better then a cheeseburger"!!!
Did you know...
the more times you run over a cat the flatter it gets?

Quote1 He is the life of any party, you always want him around to make people laugh at parties and funerals, and he really is a top bloke... but I wouldn't trust that cunt alone with my sister Quote2 ~ A friend of Maniac1075

Quote1 The fuck? He has no friends Quote2 ~ <insert name here>

Personal tools