User:Maniac1075/Gobbledegooker

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This weeks thanks giving special

During the mid 90's period of the professional wrestling, the shift in the direction of which way to take sports entertainment had fans screaming for more tits n ass, more violence and more shock value. WCW started the NWO, ECW started the tables, ladders and chairs and barbwire and setting shit on fire, hardcore matches, and Japan started hiring strippers and hookers instead of actual female wrestlers. So this left the biggest company in wrestling history undecided where to take the WWF. Vince McMahon would eventually steal all the other companies ideas later down the track, but in the beginning, before there was DX, Sable and Jim Ross's fully exposed playboy shoot, Vince came up with a plan he believed could not fail.

With all other wrestling companies doing well with there new chosen directions. What Vince came up with, was due to the WWF being in a financial slump at the time, he was desperate to find sponsors, and if they rejected his offer, they would be made fun of during there WWF shows. This started in the mid 80's when Vince McMahon blew a signing to have Red Rooster as a paying sponsor. So the character of The Red Rooster was invented. This however backfired on Vince as The Red Rooster became a fan favorite wrestler, and fans in America had never even heard of the Red Rooster franchise as it is only sold in Australia.

Tammy-Lynn-Sytch-wwe

what fans wanted

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what fans got

Vince had to think big, so his next signing was with the golden arches of Mc Donalds. Vince's offer was that if Mc Donalds sponsored them, they could make little crappy cheap toys of Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, and maybe launch the Ultimate Burger, that is an all beef patty, special sauce, lettuce cheese, pickles onions on a steroid injected bun. But McDonalds declined this order, and so Vince set out to make fun of McDonalds with an evil Ronald McDonald character named Doink The Clown.

A few more attempts at making fun of other take-away franchises failed, and hence such established wrestlers where to mock take-away franchises. Some of those names included Jerry "The King" Lawler becoming the Burger King, Randy Savage becoming the Nacho King, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake becoming the Shaved & A Ham-Cut Superstar, Wendy The Wonder Bread Woman, and a poke at the cuts of meat companies with a wrestler simpley named "Meat". But it was when a franchise named Golden Turkey Jerky failed to sign with the WWF as a sponsor, that Vince had the most success in making fun off, and making a corporate take over.

edit WWF Vs Golden Jerky Turkey

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It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's a fucking bird

The $3.50 deal Vince offered to make the company, allowed them rights to make a "clubbed over the head" sandwich and "Thick Bertha Fay Shake" with a side order of "Curly Haired Texas Tornado Fries", with an option to Hulk up the meal for an extra 50 cents. However, Golden Turkey Jerky ended up signing a deal with Warner Bros. and pissed off Vince when there next specials where the Curly Fries, Larry Burger and Moe Shake. So Vince decided he would set out to destroy them by mocking them on live TV and PPV.

A huge announcement was made for Survivor Series that year, that a special new wrestler would be announced. The hype showed an egg during Raw and left fans in wonder of what was to be cracked open and unleashed into the world of wrestling. Come the day of Survivor Series, the egg was present, and fans waited till midway through the show in anticipation of what was about to be hatched. Then the countdown began, and finally out sprung from the egg The GobbledeGooker. And a standing ovation for the new superstar was not present in fans eyes. Wonders of the huge let down astonished fans and this character became the most hated non-heel of all time.

After Survivor Series, fans wondered to themselves, "what the fuck was that all about?" but Vince's evil and genius plan's wheels had only just started turning. The next night on Raw, the Gobbledegooker made his debut against Kamala. And to everyone's surprise, the Gobbledegooker kicked the living shit out of Kamala! Fans booed and hissed, screaming out that they hated this character so much, and he had to go. But that did not stop Vince, as the Gobbledegooker kicked the shit out of anyone in his path during his 14 more appearances during live shows.

The Gobbledegooker had become the #1 contender for the heavy weight championship. And soon the next WWF PPV was coming up. Fans where in an uproar about this new poultry character. So now Vince finally stepped out of the shadows to reveal what his plan was. Vince walked out onto the set of Raw and announced that he was hearing the fans, and that he would do what they wish if they promised to never eat at Golden Turkey Jerky ever again. Fans where more then pleased by that, and most of them stopped. And Golden Jerky Turkey's sales declined. And eventually went tits up due to fucking with Vince McMahon.

The Gobbledegooker was fired from the WWF, and went to join the WCW where he went completely unnoticed like most of the other wrestling talent the WCW had.

edit Attempted Relaunch

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Come On, let me see you shake a tailfeather

In 1998 Golden Turkey Jerky tried to re-launch it's franchise. Once Vince heard about this, at the next wrestle mania he got Baseball hall of famer Pete Rose to dress up as the Gobbledegooker and receive a tombstone from Kane as a warning from Vince to remember that if they eat at Golden Jerky, The Gobbledegooker will be back. Vince revealed later that the reason Pete Rose played this character is that it almost destroyed Brian Pillmans career when fans found out he was in the Gobbledegooker suit. Vince figured he needed someone from outside of the company who would do it for 12 bucks.

edit Where is the Gobbledegooker now?

No one really gives a monkeys fuck where he is now. But just remember, that if Golden Jerky Turkey ever try to re-launch there franchise ever again, and people start to eat there again, Vince will bring back the Gobbledegooker and destroy the WWE inside-out until people stop eating there again. And Vince has stated that you may say you just wouldn't watch the WWE ever again or till he's gone, but as he quoted, "You're too fucking stupid not to watch"

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