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“They great appreciated; I not have my 500 wives without them!”
edit It should exist... or wait, does it?Mountain Goats that exist only in countries as
Laser goats have only been around for around fifty centuries, ever since Pfizer, the awesome maker of Miagra, first began sexual enhancement experiments with goats as test subjects. Regular old goats, however, proved too frail, their sex organs expanding to literally astronomical proportions (literally; one goat's cock inflated to the size of Saturn... or could have, but by the time it had reached the length of a football field the monster penis a-sploded). So mountain goats were brought in to improve success rates (by now resting comfortably at 0%). This, however, proved equally futile, as the mountain goats' dicks grew faster and longer than the goats'. Finally, a
homosexual special mountain goat was delivered to the Pfizer Main Testing Facility and, upon being given the latest test compound, demonstrated amazing results. These results, unfortunately, were not in the areas of sexual activity but rather of, well, er... To put it simply, the goat's penis fell off, the scrotum merged with the milksack, and its udders swelled up to the size of grapefruits. Then, to everyone's surprise, the udders began to glow. The scientists leaned in closer to investigate and... BAM!!! Laser beams began shooting out from the udders, vaporizing the unfortunate Pfizer scientists and blowing a massive hole in the side of the test facility. Pfizer subsequently shut down that facility, and the laser goat was donated to Goodwill, where the King of Roam found it and demanded that it be mass-produced for his army in preparation for the Punic Wars.
The Laser Goat, Laserus Goatus can be found in the northern mountains of Krushnevya. They have nice white fur that keeps them warm in the mountains. Unfortunately, this nice white fur becomes a problem when their powers are used.The Laser Goat has an unusual power not found among other goats. It has eyes that somehow shoot deadly laser beams from them. However, most goats do not know how to use this power on command, as most goats do not take the official Laser Goat Training Class available in Downtown Krushnevya. Only the wisest goats take this highly recommended training. There are none of these wise goats in existence at the moment. And so this lack of training results in a most common accident among Laser Goats; Burning