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Today's Featured Article - HowTo:Drive your car out of a lake

ScubaCar01

Parking your car in a lake is easy. Maybe you’ve left your car in neutral on a steep embankment next to a lake and gravity did the parking for you. You may have mistaken the lake for a rippling parking lot filled with cresting wave-like shopping carts. Or you parked your car in a ditch at the start of monsoon season and the lake sprang up around it. Regardless, the easy part is over. Now you face the more difficult challenge – getting the car back out of the lake. You could hire a tow truck to drive in after it, but that is a costly business. Similarly, a crane could be employed to retrieve your vehicle, provided it has ample bill length and unnatural avian strength. Or you could just drive your car out of the lake. Really, it’s the only rational choice.

To find your car, swim directly into the lake. If the car is floating it will be easy to spot, although some turtles may be mistaken for a floating car. If you find a turtle -- keep searching, as this is not your car but a reptilian imposter. If the car is sunken, the process for locating it is trickier. Sunken cars require scuba gear, a metal detector and, if the lake is dark, a strong flashlight. Now plumb the lake’s depths to locate your missing vehicle. If the metal detector or flashlight stop working, check the batteries.

Once you’ve found your car, you must get inside. If the car is floating, the act of getting inside may cause it to sink. This is a good thing, as you need the car to be at the bottom of the lake in order to drive it. (more...)

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Featured Rembrandt, featured on 12 February 2015. See the featured version.
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A Study of Existentialism within Speed 2: Cruise Control, featured on 12 February 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Quran
  • ...that the Qu'ran was originally taken from a page in the Thomas the Tank Engine activity and coloring book? (pictured)
  • ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins?
  • ...that this statement is not not not not not not not not not not not possibly confusing to no one somewhere right now?
  • ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
  • ...that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
  • ...that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?

In the news:

On this day...

February 12: International write in Graeco-Latin day (Graeco-Rome)
  • 3+3=3: Rutty, toot, toot, toot'n Graneco-Labrador fiesta!
  • 444: Yo' momma.
  • 555: Stan's stanies, the Stannites, instan Stan.
  • 666: Satan's satanies, the Satannites, insatan Satan.
  • 777: Santa's santaies, the Santaites, insanta Santa.
  • 888: With No one left, the Barbarians invade Rome for the sake of it.
  • 999: To commemerate this loss, Graceo-Roman Day is celebrated. We just wanted to tell you the history first.
  • 1809: The holy profit of Evolutionism, Charles Darwin is born.
  • 101010: Ouidis cognis qui, ma Helle-Romanis di est non iubil.
  • 111111: Id qua.
  • 121212: Extra insanis numers plus ad datus.
  • 131313: Lorem Ipsum, dolar sit amet...
  • 1337-1337: L0rem 1p5um, d01ar 5i1 am31000
  • 141414: Igpay Atinlay inay useay.
  • 151515: Pigay Greekay niay seiay.
  • 161616: Gpiay Reekgay-Manroay inay eusay.
  • 181818: Ganroay peekhay roy.

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If you don't buy their chicken, you might end up disappearing.

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