User:Fredd The Mahmauscher
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 User Nominated for Ban |
WELCOME TO OUR NEW AND UNIMPROVED USERPAGE OF MAGNIFICENT PROPORTIONS
Hi, there! We are the not-so-new Fredd The Mahmauscher! We're far more sophisticated than Mahm00shA
Some people call us Fredd, some call us Musher, others call us Paranoid, but nobody calls us Samantha.
Contents |
[edit] Personal Information
We are an 18.5 eons old male. We hail from Egypt, Land of The Suntanned. We attend to the university of "The Temple Of Pillars Of Epic Proportions" where we are studying the dark arts of Sorcery, Necromancy, and Voodoo.
If you are interested in meeting us in person, we live in the Great Pyramid, 4th floor, door 404 (Error: Door Not Found.) Beware, though, don't step near them, spiders (lvl 37), they're poisonous. And don't use the elevator, it hasn't seen the light of the sun (or the maintainance guy's torch) for more than 4000 years. Oh, and don't use the staircase, it will collapse and you will fall to your certain doom, and if -by any chance- you don't, our friendly neighbourhood spiders (lvl 29) will skullfuck you. And don't even think of trying, 671 people have already died trying to reach us. So, unless you can levitate, don't bother. (If you can actually levitate, beware of the acid-spitting, fire-farting mummy-dogs [lvl 51] guarding the windows.[1])
[edit] Fredd The Mahmauscher Features
| Fredd The Mahmauscher™ comes with many, many new and totally useless features. For example: Fredd The Mahmauscher can legally smoke and have sex, two much anticipated features that Mahm00shA lacked.[2] | 
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In October 2009, an IT company, FAKEtech, was awarded a €2 contract to upgrade Mahm00shA's humourware. The following day, he had the operation in which they took away
- his kidneys
- half of his liver
- his frontal lobe
- his left testicle
- (had it not been for some well-preserved mummies, Mahm00shA would have died.)
But on the brighter side, he recieved
- a free lobotomy
- a phallus of colossal proportions
- a cheap-ass Taiwanese microchip that gave him a slightly better sense of humour.
The following is a table of comparison between the old Mahm00shA and us, the all-new Fredd The Mahmauscher:
| Feature | Mahm00shA | Fredd The Mahmauscher |
|---|---|---|
| Age | 17.5 | 18.5 |
| Sex
| Male | SuperMale |
| Penis length | 7" | 14" |
| Humour style | Lame | Lame 2.0 |
| Humour version | 1.01.00.27 | 2.00.01.10 |
| Girlfriend | Yes | Deceased |
| IQ | 163 | 63 |
| Rollback Plunger | No | Yes |
[edit] Literary Revelations
All are mummy shit.
- There are FAs
- 'UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver (which was co-authored with Diio and featured on the 4st of June of the year 2009 CE, and made it as the second best article of June [of the same year.])
| Featured Article: UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. |
- UnTweets:Osama Bin Laden which was featured on the 14st of November of the year 2009 CE.
|
| Featured Article: UnTweets:Osama Bin Laden This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. |
- HowTo:Be A King which was co-authored with Sir Sog1970 and featured on the 22st of January of the year 2010 CE.
|
| Featured Article: HowTo:Be A King This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. |
- Also, I participated in several IC projects, including Great Britain, which was featured on the 0th of Farsh of the year 2009 CE.
| Featured Colonization: Great Britain This person contributed to a Colonization which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. |
- There's also
- UnBooks:A Brief Overview Of The History Of The Papyrus Containing The Spell To Preserve Its Possessor Against Attacks From He Who Is In The Water And Its Role In Shaping Human History, Along With Alternate Versions Of History In Various Parallel Universes
- Bob the sperm
- UnBooks:Alibaba And The Forty Bikers
- UnScripts:The cannibal, the necrophile and the coprophagist
- Then there's the shitty bandcruft
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ Or alternatively, you can buy a Wizard's Staff of happiness (+11) and kill off those creatures, but of course, good luck finding a Magical Store that sells this kind of shit at a reasonable price. Or better yet, you can just CLICK HERE for all eternity, hoping to find a portal to our bathroom, or something.
- ↑ Yes. They're totally useless because we live in Ancient Egypt, and cigarettes haven't been invented, yet. Pussy hasn't been invented, either..
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