User:Magellan/Shit cannon

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“Wow, what a stinky weapon.”
~ Captain Obvious on shit cannon
“THIS IS SHIT CANNON!!!”
~ Leonidas on Shit Cannon


The shit cannon is an extremely rare and deadly weapon. It is rumored that it can devastate any army due to its special ammunition, and that Napoleon might have used it in more than one occasion. The following information is all that is known about these legendary guns.

edit Creation

Shitcannon

An original shit cannon.

The origin of the shit cannon is actually unknown. Contrary to popular belief, it seems to have been first used in the year 1337 by pirates, and not in 1596 by Sir Francis Drake, therefore, it couldn't have been invented by him.

edit Uses In History

  • 300 BC: SPARTAAAAAAAAAANs's king Leonidas created the vagina cannon but never patent it. he used it in 300 though.
  • 1337: The NYRS Pirates gave birth to the shit cannon. Used it to plunder Devil Dogs and Twinkies. Pirates get hungry too.
  • 1338: Still plundering.
  • 1496: Shit cannons used for precision brain surgery, in conjunction with Playboy magazine, to keep the patients alive. Gandhi and Alexander The Great were both treated with this kind of medical technology.
  • 1535: Random date, shit cannons were not used at all that year.
  • 1629: In this year, Lobster Jesus commanded a huge army against Dark Jesus. Thousands of Lobster Jesus shit cannons pounded away at the home of Dark Jesus until he surrendered the wagon wheel he borrowed from Lobster Jesus. Dark Jesus also gave Lobster Jesus his Xbox because Dark Jesus wanted a Gamecube.
Shitcannon

This shit cannon doesn't need shit to work.

edit Shit Cannon Games

In 2006, shit cannons were accepted into the Olympics. The following are the main sports.

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