User:LonelyMetsFan/Leprechaun in the Hood
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“There are so many sex jokes here, I won't even start.”
“Jesus Christ man! How'd this happen?”
“Deep-fried midget is tasty, if it has cream cheese.”
“How come I didn't think of this?”
Leprechaun in the Hood is a super-8 film created by a group of crazed teenagers in Detroit some time in the mid 1980s. The plot of the documentary is very simple: what happens if you put an ARCA-registered midget into the ghetto?
The opening sequence consists of blurry shots of an unmarked van, teenagers talking, and a large brick structure, assumedly a ARCA institute in what appears to be suburban Auburn Hills, Michigan. The youths abduct a midget, who they call Lucky, and drive away with him drooling in the back of the unmarked van. They then release him into the wilds of downtown Detroit. Lucky almost immediately wanders into a KFC drive-thru, and is nearly run over by two gigantic black men in a lowrider. The two immediately pull a variety of handguns on Lucky, who is know licking the hood of the lowrider. One of the men, later identified as Le'Ron Fulton in a mugshot, asked the midget just what he is doing, but not nearly as politely as described. Lucky responds with "Taste like candy!". Fortunately, Lucky is saved when a fearful KFC employee hands Fulton the wrong order of chicken. The following sequence is Tarantino-esque.
Fulton: "What the fuck? Nigga, I ordered an extra large bucket of fried drumsticks and you gave me wings!
Employee: "I'm sorry sir. I misheard your order."
Fulton: "You ain't gonna pull any of that bullshit! I'll fucking kill you!"
Fulton pulls the KFC employee out of the window and ghetto-kills him on the spot using only a plastic fork. Lucky, unharmed, manages to climb into the drive-thru window and fall into the restaurant.
Naturally, the young filmmakers are about to give up, until Michael Moore appears. Moore, who is wandering around in order to find a subject for his next movie, agrees to help the youths recover their midget. He enters the KFC, followed by the filmmakers, and requests the return of the midget, but not before ordering a combo meal with home fries, biscuits, and gravy, as well as an extra-large fountain drink. However, the midget has apparently dissappeared from the drive-thru and is on the loose. The filmmakers are forced to leave Michael Moore behind, as he apparently had a heart attack. His last words in the movie: "mmmm...bush can mmmm... suck my balls." As the filmmakers leave the KFC, one notices that Le'Ron Fulton's lowrider is still in the drive-thru. They approach it with a level of caution normally reserved for seizing infants and aggressive wombats. They find Fulton in a pool of blood, and bullet holes through almost everything. This is