User:Lonefolf

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Stop crap PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
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3110, 3110. 45 \|/0U <4|\| 7311, 7|-|15 |>4G3 15 4 |>13<3 0F <|24|>... 1 4150 |-|4\/3 U53|2 |>4G35 47 \/\/1|<1|>3|)14, 4|\||) \/\/1|<1FU|2. If you didnt understand any of that, then click here for further confusion.

MontyPythonFootLeftSmall This user is from Camelot,
and eats ham and jam and spamalot!
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Alanmoore1 This user is a level 13 Wizard. They see the fnords.
RENT This space for rent.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

Jsbach-bass This user plays bass, because it attracts groupies without the need for excessive rehearsal time.
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\m/ This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.
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.sdrawkcab si resu sihT

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Exploding-head THIS USER'S HEAD A SPLODE.

ow... I gots A Sploded

... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
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For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about: Deviled eggs

Did you know *...that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke?

just remember; Bureaucrats cut red tape -- lengthwise. sexy998,001kidneySHITCOCK, a Doragar

edit And now, for something just a little more serious

edit Well, not really

Worldwide Forecast at a Glance:

  • Mainland Europe can expect plagues of locusts...I aint fugging doing the weather until I get paid


FlashFlood


  • Russia will have absolutely no weather this weekend. We still admit nothing...


  • On to Eurasia, there'll be some heavy thunder about as loud as a mountain goat fart.


  • A cold day in hell is scheduled for sometime next summer.


  • In summary, there's a 50-50 chance that this forecast will go wrong 90 percent of the time.


Special Weather Report:

A pack of wild turkeys were spotted surfing tsunamis in the Indian Ocean.

Global Warming Indicator

Only two complained that this forecast sucked, the other 42,089,357 were getting high.


Today's Featured Article - Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz (born Rafael Edward Cruz) is the junior United States Senator from Texas. Elected in 2012 as a Republican, he is the first Hispanic or Cuban American to serve as a U.S. Senator from Texas. The term serve is used loosely, because he is running for President of the United States, and while running for President, he has very little time to fulfill his duties as a US Senator. Several analysts are concerned about his hopes in the current Presidential election because he does not actually qualify to be President in as much as he was born outside the United States as a Cuban Canadian, and the Constitution mandates that the President must be born within the US as a natural born citizen, but because that didn't stop President Obama, Cruz believes it will not be an issue for him either.

Christened Rafael Edward Cruz, he was born to Eleanor Elizabeth Darragh Wilson, and Rafael Bienvendo Cruz in Toronto, Canada on December 22, 1970. At the time Ted was born, his father worked in the oil industry in Canada. Rafael Cruz Sr. owned a company that processed seismic data for oil drillers and he was very gifted at processing the data until the oil drillers got the results they wanted. He had learned how to process data from his time in Cuba fighting with Castro's good ol' boys as an interpretation specialist. Any information that needed to be reinterpreted or processed went through Rafael Cruz Sr. before being sent out through official channels. Ted's Father left Cuba in 1957 to attend the University of Texas where "I got me some learnin'", as he would say on graduation in one of his humorous attempts to imitate a Texas drawl.

Cruz's mother, Eleanor Wilson Cruz, was born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware, of Irish and Italian descent, and she has the typical temperament of someone with that heritage, or at least the temperament of an average mother. (more...)

Recently featured: Ted Cruz

Yesterday's Featured Article - Horace Greeley

Horace Greeley

Horace Greeley (February 3, 1811 – November 29, 1872) was a newspaper man who thought he had solutions to offer the political system. He switched states and switched political parties but finally found one of both that felt right, and ran for U.S. President against Ulysses S. Grant in 1872. He lost decisively, but got the last laugh, dying before the electoral vote could be cast.

Greeley was born on February 3, 1811 in Amherst, New Hampshire. He could not breathe for the first 20 minutes of his life, and some say this is the cause for everything that followed. To this day, newspaper men say we could control carbon emissions and solve global warming if all the God-damned environmentalists would also just refrain from breathing for about 20 minutes.

Greeley's parents, Zaccheus and Mary (Woodburn) Greeley, moved house repeatedly during Greeley's youth, without even the lame excuse of Army service. Neighbors thought Greeley was smart and offered to pay his way through Phillips Exeter Academy, but the Greeleys were proud, and replied, "No, thank you, we will just stay poor and ignorant." However, in 1820, the Greeleys moved to Vermont, as it was a few miles ahead of the creditors in pursuit. This was Greeley's breakthrough, as he became the 15-year-old apprentice of the printer of a newspaper called the Northern Spectator.

After only four years, it became painfully clear that no one wanted to spectate at the north of East Poultney, Vermont; nor north from Poultney, toward the ignorance of Blissville. The newspaper went into oblivion, and Greeley went into Pennsylvania, eventually finding work at the Erie Gazette.

In 1831, Greeley went to New York City to seek his fortune. Unfortunately, he found that it was safely in the hands of other people. He found work at newspapers no one has ever heard of, including the New York Morning Post and The New-Yorker. Greeley met his wife, Mary Young Cheney, at a boarding house that rejected meat, alcohol, coffee, tea, spices, and intoxicants, leaving only hanky-panky as a diversion. Their marriage was sandwiched into Greeley's newspapers in the middle of the winning numbers in the lottery, though their honeymoon was sandwiched into the work week, and consummated at the sandwich break. (more...)

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edit Some of the best articles

Rough Gay Wolf Sex, oh wait... thats the only one I like... O.O


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