User:Lollipop/UnNews:Linda McCartney angry at former husband Paul's third engagement, comes back from the dead

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8 May 2011

Zombie Linda McCartney

Linda McCartney has come back from the dead to haunt her former husband Paul.

EAST SUSSEX, England - It seems Paul McCartney was ready to say "Love Me Do" for the third time. The ex-Beatle has been married twice before, with Linda Eastman and Heather Mills. Linda, who was married to Paul from 1969 until she died of cancer in 1998, was not pleased with a third time and decided to return from the dead.

"I don't know why he's doing this", says Linda, "why dosen't he go and make some fucking music. He obviously sex starved". Linda claims she will haunt her former husband for a very long time. Paul had a few things to say about Linda. "Go back to your grave", says Paul, "you're supposed to be dead."

One other person gave a statement to UnNews. That would be the new Mrs. McCartney, Nancy Shevell. "Hey, at least I never did hippie vegeterian crap", she told UnNews.

So will this third marraige work out? Or will Paul be giving up another £24.3 million?

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