User:Lollipop/UnNews:Linda McCartney angry at former husband Paul's third engagement, comes back from the dead
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
8 May 2011
EAST SUSSEX, England - It seems Paul McCartney was ready to say "Love Me Do" for the third time. The ex-Beatle has been married twice before, with Linda Eastman and Heather Mills. Linda, who was married to Paul from 1969 until she died of cancer in 1998, was not pleased with a third time and decided to return from the dead.
"I don't know why he's doing this", says Linda, "why dosen't he go and make some fucking music. He obviously sex starved". Linda claims she will haunt her former husband for a very long time. Paul had a few things to say about Linda. "Go back to your grave", says Paul, "you're supposed to be dead."
One other person gave a statement to UnNews. That would be the new Mrs. McCartney, Nancy Shevell. "Hey, at least I never did hippie vegeterian crap", she told UnNews.
So will this third marraige work out? Or will Paul be giving up another £24.3 million?