User:Lollipop/Donald Duck

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Donald Duck (Friday, August 13, 1915- Friday, February 13, 1985) was a famous Hollywood actor with Disney. He was known for his anger management issues, severe hatred and pyschotic obsession with fellow colleague Mickey Mouse, being a murderer and killing many people, and being a duck. Donald appeared in over 160 films in his career. Donald was also married to Donna Duck from 1937 to 1940, but he began cheating on her with Daisy Duck. His marraige with Ms. Duck was publicized heavily, which resulted in him killing her Phil Spector style and getting arrested for 10 years.

edit Early Life

Duck was born on Friday the 13th in 1915 in a pond in Iowa. His mother was a goose. His early days were happy, as he swam with his brothers and sisters. Then, tragedy happened. When Donald was 6, his parents were mauled by a wolf running nearby. A bunch of mice finished the remains. One of the mice was a distant cousin of Mickey. Donald became insane and vowed revenge on mice and wolves.

Donald was brought up by his uncle and aunt and surrounded by his cousins. One of them, Gus Goose, would appear later in his life. When Donald was 16, he found the wolf that killed his parents. Pulling a knife from his pocket, Donald anal raped, sliced, and succesfully killed the wolf. He blamed everything on his uncle, who was put on the electric chair.

edit Acting Career

Deep in the Great Depression, Donald was hungry for food and for work. He joined the circus. He was thrown out after setting a group of monkeys on fire and snorting the remains. He then became a farmer, but he got thrown out for shooting the barn mice. He was then hired as a custodian at Disney's Burbank Studios in 1934. While cleaning a plugged toilet, there seemed to be a problem. Disney was shooting a cartoon that was supposed to star Dennis Duck, but Dennis did not make it. Donald filled in, and did a terrible job, but they were despertate.

Donald was offered a 1 year acting contract with Disney for 5 bucks[1]. He accepted. And got his first penny of the day.

Donald began to overtake fellow actor Mickey Mouse in popularity. At the time, Mickey Mouse was the star of all the films. He had money, guys girls, and fame. That is until Donald arrived.

Their actions backstage were similar to Mozart and Sallieri. Donald was jealous of Mickey, and became almost obsessed about him. He often drew pictures of schemes to kill the Mouse, even suggesting one film to Walt Disney. Donald also began to realize he had homosexual feelings for Mickey, which is included in one scheme to rape and behead the mouse. Donald briefly was sent to rehab, where a therapist helped him sort out his issues. He began to star in films with Goofy, who suffered from both Dyslexia and Cerebal Palsy. Together, their films sucked went off the charts.

Donald now was serious in his attempt to rape and kill Mickey, he tried several times which ended up fruitless.

In 1948, Donald swallowed his pride and raped Mickey. "OH GOSH", screamed Mickey. Donald's whitish jizz spalttered in Mickey's anus. Mickey gave birth to the Anti-Christ through his asshole 9 months later. The anus was used as a port for Satan when he wanted to go shoplifiting at Wal-Mart. Donald was jailed for 2 years in the state pennitary for buttsex[2].

In 1958, Donald retired from showbiz and married actress Daisy Duck. His actions towards her were much publicized.

edit Notes

  1. It was a lot of money at the time.
  2. Buttsex was an offense back then.
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