From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Times Claire has harmed herself since you logged in
edit Who She's Slept With
Claire Bennet has slept with a lot of people, but here's a short list:
- Me :D
- The Teletubies
- Some French People
- Peter Petrelli, her uncle
- Nathan Petrelli, her real father
- The entire cast of the musical Hairspray.
- A Dolpin
- Meredith Gordon, Her real mother.
- Noah Bennett, Her adoptive Father
Basically everyone except you.
edit Healing And Stuff
Claire can also heal herself and stuff. Because of this many young male emos have been fantasising about her joining the emo cult. One time she died but, then she woke up in the middle of her autopsy because they pulled a Twig out of her neck and she was fine.
edit Other abilities
Her other abilities include:
- Picking up Geeks
- Permentanty wearing a cheerleader costume.
- Doing her uncle and not getting AIDS
- Making men's pants explode
- Having a really bitchy best friend who gets killed
edit In the begining
In the beginning Claire was pushed into a glass wall by her bitchy best friend who was trying to rape her. When her hand healed she became the ultimate emo and started committing suicide and taping it for fun. Her dad discover these videos, thinking they where porn and found out how good she was at buttsecks and healing. He decided to protect her at any cost. Meanwhile Mystery Sock started painting special pictures of her being killed. Peter saw these and journed to Texas to save her after he'd been told to by Super Duper Future Hiro.
Why the hell is 2007 in here?