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edit What/Who is a Light Speed Taco?
A taco that has the ability to move at the speed of light, also has some kind of sentience and powers that allows him to browse over Uncyclopedia™ articles and do stuff using it's psychic abilities. Prone to using Azumanga Daioh jokes, ekusutorimu sa-ka-semu(Japanese version of extreme sarcasm), psychic-ly-ish-like linking oneself to powerful people and HARDCORE YAOI to achieve his goal of total world domination
edit Light Speed Taco as told by GameFuqs
This unit has the KOF Final boss syndrome, even if it's not a boss unit,and it's not even in KoF. Luckily only one Light Speed Taco may exist in the realm at a time and they are usually found sleeping amost . it's insane speed allows it to move to one place to another in a nano-blink of a nano-eye and easily evade any measly attempts to land a hit. One of it's skills also makes a character lose a random amount of Intelligence permanently, forcing some INT-based units to become mentally challenged as most fighter units are, mercy-killed and restarted. If you are a high ranking spell caster, please avoid this creature at all costs, If you are a dumbfuck fighter-type, you are welcome to try and land an attack on this creature, as long as it doesn't decide to explode and inflict massive torturous pain upon your arse.
Details as Recorded in the monster Archives 2007.
Name: Light Speed Taco; Classification: Bio-Hybrid; Monster Level: SS; Alignment: Chaotic Evil; Element: Luna; EXP Given: 1 guaranteed level up; Dropped Items: Taco chip, Ground Beef, Cheese, Exploding monkey, 20 foot Dildo
HP: 1/1 MP: Infinite/infinite Defence: 1 Resists:10 Evasion: virtually untouchable Critical attack probability: Unnaturally lucky
Weaknesses: Fire(+95%) Crushing Force(+50%)
Resistances: Sarcasm and Multiple Forms (Full Immunity + 25% absorb )Everything else (-75%)
List of Abilities and Detailed Descriptions:
Psychic Flight: Using Superior mind powers. This unit is able to float in midair and pay no regard to terrain, also makes unit invulnerable to some ground based attacks.(Passive)
Subliminal Message Blast: Bombards the enemy's mind with subliminal messages. May cause the overpowering urge to buy something and in some rare cases, Epilipsy. EAT AT "ILA PUTI"! Mana Cost: 10 mp; damage capability: Insignificant; Side effects: Confusion, Autism, Irresistible urge to by crap.
Azumanga Daioh References: Uses a quote from the totally random Animé "Azumanga Daioh". Effects include confusion, sudden case of autism, reduced IQ, madness, loss of appetite, Spontaneous combustion and sterility. Mana Cost: 20 mp; Damage Capability: Major! Side Effect: Already dtated
Ekusutoriimu Sa-kasemu: EXTREME SARCASM, japanese version, same effects, but more effective against chinks compared to the original. Mana Cost: 25 mp; Damage Capability: EXTREME! Side Effects: EXTREME Confusion
Corporate Take Over: Light Speed Taco disguises itself as a normal taco and waits for a victim to eat it, once it is consumed, it will "take over" his consumer and make him do stuff he/she doesn't want.(Invest in bad products, wear tasteless clothes, get an afro, rape random people to contract STDs, If straight, rapes people of same sex, If gay, will rape people of opposite sex) When done it's "spirit" can just transfer to another host taco. What's worse is victim will retain memories of what he/she has done in perfectly vivid dream sequences. Mana Cost: n/a; Damage Capabilities: Over $20 Million in government properties; Side Effects: Bad after taste
Tele-Explode: Light Speed Taco explodes, destroying everything in a 5 metre radius. It then rematerializes after a few seconds. Mana Cost: n/a; HP penalty: 15% of max health; Damage Capability: Major; Side Effects: Nothing... Aside from MAJOR PAIN
edit Other Facts
Notoriety This creature has been known to roam the outskirts of grue city and smiley town. If somehow, caught by surprised, it will quickly escape leaving behind deadly BARA YAOI images in it's wake, effects vary, may make minions out of certain people or completely drain their mental stability. Many a brave adventurer has met his unevitable trip to the looney bin after a fight with this creature. Avoid at all costs... Except if you are a citizen of the YAOI fandom.
This Guy's Mum
Yamata no Orochi
The YAOI Fandom