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Ed, Edd n Eddy was reality television show for children that ran for six seasons. The main goal of the program was to teach children how to have decention among social classes and also provide a basic series easy ways to rip-off your friends and allies for candy.
Eddy- One cheap bastard, actually a child rapist as evidenced by his bald head. Eddy creates elaborate plots in order to steal quarters from five year olds and then rape them. His pleasure is an extra large jaw-breaker and a quickie.
Edd- Usually referred to as Double D this poorly named child is a genius with a hat fetish. He refuses to take his hat off and most people believe he is hiding either AL-Qaida's plan for the Death Star or an illegitimite Japanese wife under there. He was followed by hitmen in seasons 3-5 because the Fire Lord was aware he knew where the Avatar was. He is a part of the sissy liberal agenda because he uses words longer than five characters in length. (Note: Just a quick note the only thing preventing any conservative minds from getting on this sight is because they are incapable of creating a six letter password, nobody screw it up.)
Ed- Definite Drug Lord and possible gang member. Ed is always tripping acid during the show, and often forgets to use the standard subject, predicate sentence structure. Ed usually fucks up all the scams because he walks up to his victims and yells, "I'm tripping balls!" multiple times. Ed is a registered member in the church of Satan Worshipers evidenced by his collection of demon comic books and figures, and Ed is on the United States government Most Wanted Criminal List because he stole a new 35 piece Orbitz gum package from a non-arab gas station employee.
Ralph- One crazy motherfucker who no one understands, he usually just shows up behind people and tries to rape them. Much like Barack Obama, Ralph is not a U.S. citizen and can therefore only run for president if the democrats hold the majority in the House and Senate.
Nazz- A chick one the show who is apparently attractive, but I'm not sure how anyone could tell because she only wears sweatshirts and pregnant pants which is why she is thought to be an undercover Nike employee. She is also a suspected prostitute because she flirts with anything that looks at her funny, which includes a skunk, mailbox, and lightpost in certain episodes.
Kevin- Out of the nine kids that attend Peachcreek School Kevin is the most athletic, which isn't saying much. He used to be a lot nicer to people,but then Ralph penetrated his anal cavity and turned him into Scrooge.
Johnny- Another bald guy who is the type of kid you just want to wind up and kick in the nuts. He never shuts up and is secretly dating a rotting piece of wood. His hobbies include talking to walls and jacking off.
P.L.A.N.K.- Actually a government agent Personally Link A New Kid, P.L.A.N.K. was sent to the Cul-De-Sac to attach himself from Johnny and prevent him from annoying the world to death.
Sarah- Ed's younger sister. She's a real bitch that no one likes because she dry humps telephone pools and is thought to be half man because of her bulging testosterone level.
Jimmy- Sarah's girlfriend, she had a sex change because she was to effeminate to be considered a male, so she chopped her balls off, and let her estrogen take over.
edit Jawbreakers Metaphor
Ed, Edd N Eddy was actually created by angry Buddhists who were at odds with the Christian system. Jawbreakers in this case represent Nirvana, which is what Eddy, Double D, and Ed are all trying to reach. The Buddhists prove that Nirvana is always just out of their grasp because they are shunned by those other dipshit Christian kids. The show was originally called "Death to Jesus," but Cartoon Network said the title was to awesome and instead would have to include the names of the main characters like every other show.
Just got blocked from Wikipedia by a bunch of pussies!