User:Kuzlalala/Montblanc

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

(a project. If it's well detailed, it'll be a real article, and this will be removed.)

Montblanc is a homosexual moogle from Final Fantasy, who is a leader there. He used to be the hidden member of Clan Microsoft, but was kicked out for being "too invisible" and made his own clan. He can sometimes be a dumbshit be a few propellers short of an airship.


edit Birth

He was about to be named Charles Dickenstone by his parents, but they argued and were killed by an avalanche. The baby was found by his master and was named Montblanc as his slave name.

edit Childhood

Montblanc hentai comic
One of Montblanc's attempts of raping a Bangaa.

Young Montblanc tries to do Black Magic, one of his first spells are "Bat Fuck Insane", "Bat Fuck Insanera", and "Bat Fuck Insanega". He also "slept" with people like Barney, Dora, and the Teletubbies. He was sent into an asylum. But he broke out and helped another insame young lad named Mar Chay.

edit Revenge

His master died being sexually abused by Yiazmat, which made Montblanc wanted some revenge.

edit Health Problems

Montblanc is known as a drug dealer, which causes his disability of chocobo riding. His habit of evil insane laughing has also caused him jaw problems, which made his mouth open for flies. He is also know with a big "man part", being neglected by women easily. More recently, he contracted HIV from Luso

edit Song

His song is Teach Me, Montblanc, which has a limited edition soundtrack which has Montblanc (voiced by Kumiko Yokote) teaching you how to have good "love". His remix is called Teach Me, Montblanc (Faggot version) (Yes, there's two "g"s!) which teaches you about Yaoi.

edit Human Form

Balthier
Mustadio

If you beat the mission "Moogle Bride" 5 times in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, Montblanc will force himself to turn into a human and the enemy will fall in love with him. In Final Fantasy Tactics A2, he will turn into a hotter human form if you beat the mission "A Bride for Montblanc".

Also, in a hidden cut scene where Balthier and Mustadio encountered Montblanc, only to know that Montblanc's transformation was a huge rip-off of them two.

edit Inspiration

A celebrety named herself "Monbu Ran", the Japanese name of Montblanc. Oh, she does the same thing as him, all right.


edit Why Montblanc Sucks

  1. He fucks his brothers.
  2. His stats suck
  3. He is a shemale.
  4. Sucks dicks, (no, really)
  5. Tries to fuck chocobos, but can't
  6. More again'st him than for

edit Why Montblanc isn't Annoying

  1. He leads a clan. AWESOME!
  2. Black mages are sexy!

edit See Also


(that's all I could put, so please help me fill it up and be an article!)

Personal tools
projects