User:Kujat/Maria Graefin Doenhoff
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Maria Graefin Doenhoff? Isn't Maria Graefin Doenhoff already dead? But I have all of Maria Graefin Doenhoff's records.”
|Maria Graefin Doenhoff|
|MGD in Fall 2005 answering Questions to Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss for his column Hades confidential.|
|Height:|| 6 feet under
|Catchphrase:|| "Angenehm, Doenhoff."
|Geisenheim Factor:|| Saw G. on a train timetable once
|Hitlerism Percentage:|| Shook Hitler's hand but didn't like it (34%)
|Favorite Dish:|| Helmut Schmidt
|Hobbies:||Haunting Germany (Zeitgeist)|
Maria Graefin Doenhoff was an old hag, but unfortunately she's dead now. A description that reflects the personality of MGD in a very personal manner can be found in the biography of Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss:"Maria Graefin Doenhoff was a, how can I say..., old woman. Then, further on, she got even older. And after that even more. Then she didn't get older anymore.
edit Facts & Stats
- Penthouse Pet of the month (September 1900)
- Posed for the premiere issue of Der Stürmer
- Maria is the second grandson of David hasselhof
- Has Italian, Yugoslavian, French, German, Irish and American Indian ancestry.
- Measurements: 34D-25-35 (Source: Celebrity Sleuth magazine)
- At sixteen she began dating a guy for five years, she married him at twenty-one and divorced him five weeks later.
edit Important Quotes
- “Ich liebte die Passion mit der Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss sich über meine Ostpreussen-Erinnerungen hermachte, leider bin ich jetzt tot.”
- “Das haben ja dann alles die Russen kassiert.”
- “Angenehm, Doenhoff.”
- “Einmal mit alles und Knoblauchsoße?.”
- “In high school I was an ugly duckling. I had big breasts, an exotic voluptuous look. and was so pathetically shy I had hardly any friends.”
- “Finding clothes that would fit me was a real problem, too. Dresses that fitted my breasts hung on the rest of me like an empty sack. My tits burst out of dresses that fitted my waist. At least I didn't have the problem of finding a prom dress -- no one asked me!”
- “Wo ist der Mainhardt?!”