User:Kujat/Maria Graefin Doenhoff

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“Maria Graefin Doenhoff? Isn't Maria Graefin Doenhoff already dead? But I have all of Maria Graefin Doenhoff's records.”
~ Harald Kujat on Maria Graefin Doenhoff
Geisenheim Files
Maria Graefin Doenhoff
MGD in Fall 2005 answering Questions to Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss for his column Hades confidential.
Height: 6 feet under
Occupation: Deceased
Catchphrase: "Angenehm, Doenhoff."
Geisenheim Factor: Saw G. on a train timetable once
Hitlerism Percentage: Shook Hitler's hand but didn't like it (34%)
Favorite Dish: Helmut Schmidt
Hobbies: Haunting Germany (Zeitgeist)

Maria Graefin Doenhoff was an old hag, but unfortunately she's dead now. A description that reflects the personality of MGD in a very personal manner can be found in the biography of Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss:"Maria Graefin Doenhoff was a, how can I say..., old woman. Then, further on, she got even older. And after that even more. Then she didn't get older anymore.

edit Facts & Stats

  • Penthouse Pet of the month (September 1900)
  • Posed for the premiere issue of Der Stürmer
  • Maria is the second grandson of David hasselhof

edit Trivia

Strmertitel 2

Maria Graefin Doenhoff on the 1st issue of J. Streichers Stuermer.

  • Has Italian, Yugoslavian, French, German, Irish and American Indian ancestry.
  • Measurements: 34D-25-35 (Source: Celebrity Sleuth magazine)
  • At sixteen she began dating a guy for five years, she married him at twenty-one and divorced him five weeks later.

edit Important Quotes

Strmertitel 3

As some experts meant to identify subtle antisemitic tendencies in the paper, it is not "en vouge" to read the Stuermer in today's Germany.

  • “Ich liebte die Passion mit der Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss sich über meine Ostpreussen-Erinnerungen hermachte, leider bin ich jetzt tot.”
  • “Das haben ja dann alles die Russen kassiert.”
  • “Angenehm, Doenhoff.”
  • “Einmal mit alles und Knoblauchsoße?.”
  • “In high school I was an ugly duckling. I had big breasts, an exotic voluptuous look. and was so pathetically shy I had hardly any friends.”
  • “Finding clothes that would fit me was a real problem, too. Dresses that fitted my breasts hung on the rest of me like an empty sack. My tits burst out of dresses that fitted my waist. At least I didn't have the problem of finding a prom dress -- no one asked me!”
  • “Wo ist der Mainhardt?!”
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