Greetings, all! I am Norbert Wilshire Ughl'yrkh'ra Cthulhus IV. But you may call me Knightfall (Or Knight, for those who believe in brevity). Firstly, let me tell you all a bit about myself.
A direct descendant of the offspring of This Guy and Cthulhu, I am what science would call a thiscephalopod. In laymans terms, that's a squid-man. I was hatched in 1327 on the robotic planet Unicron, in the decade immediately preceding the Pwn Wars of 1337. Abandoned from birth to fend for myself in the wild oceans of n00b, I found solace in the huffing of kittens as well as the occasional consumption of virgin lawyers. After reaching developmental maturity at age 221, I was able to use my newfound telekinetic powers to escape Unicron's stormy seas and travel to Earth, a locale I read much about in the pages of UnNews.
Upon reaching Earth, I settled in the majestic city of New Anarchy. It surprised me how the citizens of New Anarchy managed to maintain such a calm and peaceful existence, especially with all of the burning, pillaging, and looting going on. After a few days, I decided I enjoyed the atmosphere the place, and bought myself a quiet little mansion overlooking the ocean of burning
loins. A number of months later, after losing my steady job at the crap factory, I needed something else to do with my time. Shortly after, a friend by the name of Pithy Saying Man pointed me in the direction of Uncyclopedia, saying:
If you do what you have always done, you will get what you've always gotten!
Pondering this unquestionably pithy saying, I thought to myself "Well, all I've ever done is make crap at the crap factory, and I got a small paycheck for that...so...maybe if I write crap at Uncyclopedia, I can make millions!" So now, here I am, a member of Uncyclopedia, writing crap in the hopes of achieving a greater destiny. Let's give it a go, shall we?