User:Kip the Dip/awards
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VFH awards aren't really awards at all. They're thank yous for at least signing ~~~ on the correct voting side.
Thank you for voting on Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor. You have been awarded a meaningless template which was adapted slightly from an equally meaningless one by another user! You may now feel part of the Evolver Club, even though the writer has no idea who you are and is only giving you this so you vote for his articles again.
Oh, those Russians...
Anyway, look, before all these stupid puns kill me (and trust me, I don't want to look like him...),
Megalomaniac Martin “The Unfortunately Unfeatured” Ultima • (VOTE FOR ME!) • talk • (AND MY PICS TOO!) • contribs 15:14, 11 August 2007 (UTC)
|Your A Big Psychic Now!|
|Thank you for voting HowTo:Bend a spoon to the front page of the Uncyclopedia. With your help, we can work together and give the psychic community the acknowledgment it deserves! We accept donations! Happy Bending!
We apologize for the delay in sending this thank-you message. It was transcribed and sent telepathically, and our expert telepathist has had a headache for the last week and was unable to send it properly. Did we mention we accept donations?
|THEY TRIED TO PREVENT THIS ARTICLE FROM BEING FEATURED|
|WILSON!! WIILLSOOONN!! Hey, there he is! Anyways, The Led Balloon would like to thank you for voting on UnBooks:The Castaway.|
|When you get on the raft, don't forget to bring...... |
Oh, never mind...
|Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!!|
|PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH.|
|The Led Balloon has awarded you a nice, sturdy Wall, and hopes it well help you to hold up your ceiling very soon.|
|That's what these things do, ya know. They hold up the ceiling.|
|The UnIdiot would like to award you with a authentic Kansas whale! Because apparently Kansas has oceans now! Treasure it always! Only 789,729 more left! Tell your friends!
Thanks for voting on Kansas whaling!
|The Led Balloon thanks you for nuking the whales, and hopes that you will nuke the whales again with him sometime very soon.|
|Remember: Fuck the hippies, nuke those whales!|
The list to the left contains all the thanks you could ever need.
And it contains 94 other items. Perhaps you'd like to spot them if your sudoku was too easy today?
|The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on that UnNews... the one about that guy... Oh, what's his name again?|
|Ah well, it's not important. Thanks for voting!|
And they could beat you up.
|A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....|
It is a period of Galactic unrest. Star Wars was nominated for VFH, but nearly failed, thanks to the efforts of the evil lord Darth Vader.
However, during the nomination,
Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, he races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save his people and restore freedom to the galaxy...
|I can't believe it finally got featured, either. Thanks for voting!|
|There you go son!
It's now your turn to take the good ol' family wooden condom. It's been in my family for years, passed through the generations. Slip it on boy, its your's now! Wear it with pride!
|The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.|
|Beware the white stuff!|
Christ. Thanks for voting for HowTo:Mail a Letter to the first featured article of 2008. Maybe I'll just call you next time.
a friendly message from your local post office.
|You are presented with one (1) package of|
Red Baron French Bread PizzaTM for your vote for
that article involving flying things..
Please note that Red Baron microwaveable pizzasTM
may cause loss of altitude or engine failure.
edit Monthly nonsense
|This text is written in off-white, as opposed to white. It may be difficult to read, and you may have to strain you eyes or cheat and highlight it with your cursor to read it. CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER!
Thanks for voting for UnNews:White House discovered to be off-white!
|Pfft, only a n00b would try this! Remember, you voted for me because I did this better than any other n00b on the site! Please accept this poorly made template! No, its all we have! GO AWAY!
Thanks for voting for The UnIdiot!
|The UnIdiot wood like u 2 no thay reeding hells you improd u're readding nd wrting! Weeding is fund!
Thanks for voting on UnNews:Studies show people who read are better at reading
|GopherKiller has given you a free ticket to ride Superman Tower of Bloody Severed Legs for voting on UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop.|
|Ye Olde Luke has awarded you a cookie!|
Now go play in traffic.
|User:Thekillerfroggy has awarded you a cookie!|
Now go play in traffic.
edit Christmas/Winter holiday
The Gifts of the Uncyclopedians.
|Bonner would like to wish you
a Merry Christgame
I mean... merry.
Be sure to keep on dipping those kips!
Honest, I meant merry!
|Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!|
|Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...|
Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN.
WE ADVISE YOU TAKE PRECAUTIONS.
a friendly message from your local Santa Awareness Bureau.
or whatever it is you
new-fangled Christians do at this
time of year.
From Rabbi Techno
|Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch|
- from Insineratehymn