|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
14 October 2009
Uncyclopedia Headquarters, America - Lately, an administrator named Mordillo, had a problem with one of Uncyclopedia's most prolific writers, Clemens177. So small were his balls, and his opinion of himself, that he banned Clemens177 for over a month, not for anything bad Clemens177 did, but simply for that prolific writer talking back to him.
Now, given that the management of Uncyclopedia recognizes how prolific that writer was, and what an insecure prick Mordillo was, they have let Clemens177 back, it is expected that Clemens177 will help carry Uncyclopedia again.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is, as has been talked about in the Village Forum, Uncyclopedia is slowly dwindling in popularity due to a dearth of good writers. Truth is, they need regularly posting writers like Clemens177 and others, just to tread water, let alone to swim a millimeter upstream. And finally, truth is, that having cock sucking faggot sons of bitches like Mordillo on management, who ban for an obviously bullshit reason, because they are distressed at hearing someone mention what a small dicked mother fucker they are, is greatly decreasing Uncyclopedia's viability.
Mordillo saw Clemens177 interacting with another member. He chose to publicly upbraid Clemens177 for drama, though none existed. When Clemens177 privately spoke to Mordillo about this - thus avoiding drama - Mordillo banned Clemens177 for another reason - that of showing dead jews in an article in which that was appropriate.
Now bear in mind, dead jew pictures are rarely appropriate. However, this is the forum that has articles about fucking children, and the forum that has articles making fun of retarded children, and the forum that has articles about death, rape, child sex, etc. as our staples.
Clearly then, an article about how the Nobel committee was wrong to award Obama, and mentioning that they'd given a peace prize to the man - Cordell Hull - who killed 250 jews, was not a stretch or inappropriate. Rather it was Mordillo grasping any excuse he could in a vain attempt to regain a manhood he never had. Or so his mother told me in post-coital bliss. Glenn Beck, who was there at the time, can verify this. At least the first half. He left then, to rape and kill another teenager. At least I think that's what he left for, and he certainly never denied it to me.
Here's the deal. Mordillo is either banned till the date he said I was banned till, (sometime in November after PLS) or you all can continue to whine in the Village Dump about the lack of good writers on Uncyclopedia. I've no doubt that you'll choose to keep that pathetically ball-less faggot Mordillo on board. But if you actually have any brains, you'll upbraid him, ban him till then, and keep a good and prolific writer here, and let faggot Mordillo come back sadder and wiser in November.
I'll know soon enough, next time I try to write or post or edit. Remember - cocksuckers like Mordillo banning are a dime a dozen. Writers who can make you laugh each day are what you are complaining there is a lack of.
- John Wayne Gacy "[www.NAMBLA.com Mordillo is our best member]". NAMBLA Times, October 14, 2009