User:Kip the Dip/Digital Audio Broadcasting

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Kip the Dip/Digital Audio Broadcasting.

Digital Audio Broadcasting, or DAB, otherwise known as Diabolical Audio Bitrates in the United Kingdom, is a standard for broadcasting low quality audio, invented by Tony Blair, Microsoft and Tesco in 1997 as part of Labour's election campaign of bringing subliminal messages into every home. The BBC contributed to DAB by making homing pigeons carry the equipment required to allow the stations to be broadcast. Nine pigeons were killed in the worst pigeon disaster since World War II, and one pooped on the head of one of the engineers.

Listeners who buy a radio set or make one from scraps of cardboard and paper clips can listen to around thirty stations broadcast in superior mono. A 30ft aerial is required to pick up any signal, because the signals are weak due to Popeye not giving the transmitters the spinach they need to broadcast them. Popeye is scheduled to start work in 2186, after the next general election.

edit Songs on DAB stations

  • No signal by Weak Strength
  • Station not found by Crap Aerial
  • Bubbling Mud by Poor signal
  • Station off-air by BBC Radio Five Live Sports Extra

edit DAB stations in the UK


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