User:Kip the Dip/AI

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This. Is Uncyclopedia Idol,

the talent-free karaoke contest where everyone can't sing
Simon Cowell has insulted 30,614 contestants this season

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This week's loser

Hung smile

Best known in for his jacked-up grill and plunging American television into further awe-inspiring depths of stupidity, William Richard Martin Hung moved to California from Hong Kong in hopes of graduating high school. After seven years in the eleventh grade, Hung was awarded a completion of high school certificate, which from a few feet away, looks very much like a high school diploma. Hung proceeded to attend classes at UC Berkeley, until security escorted him off campus.

His luck changed after winning a local singing talent contest, held in a living room within his house where he was the only contestant and also served as judge. Inspired, Hung ended up singing at local town meetings and events. Although Hung has always claimed he was asked to perform at these functions, the grand majority of the time he was actually asked to stop, stop ... please fucking stop. (Really, no more.)


Recently voted out: BENSON - Braydie - Codeine - Insineratehymn - Ljlego - Mhaille - Oscar Wilde - Sannse - Savethemooses - The Thinker - Zombiebaron

Did you know...

  • ...that was just dreadful?
  • ...that you can't sing whatsoever?
  • ...I'm rich enough to hire someone to kill you, and after that performance I'm genuinely considering it?
  • ...that the only reason Paula said 'yes' is because she's drunk off her ass?
    • ...or maybe just she wants to sleep with you?
  • ...I'm not really British?

Idol news

On this day...

Yougonnaget

Always a concern on National Hysteria Day.

July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day, and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS!

  • 0 - Scientist decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor "falls" of the world and is never seen again.
  • 1066 - King Harold inaugerates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
  • 1855 - An brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
  • 1929 - Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
  • 1966 - Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
  • 1986 - Copious amounts of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
  • 1990 - Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two people are killed by the virus itself.
  • 2006 - TOTAL FUCKING HYSTERIA!!!

Featured picture

Lance brick

When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.

Image Credit: Sunsneezer
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Recent Songs Performed

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