This week's loser
Best known in for his jacked-up grill and plunging American television into further awe-inspiring depths of stupidity, William Richard Martin Hung moved to California from Hong Kong in hopes of graduating high school. After seven years in the eleventh grade, Hung was awarded a completion of high school certificate, which from a few feet away, looks very much like a high school diploma. Hung proceeded to attend classes at UC Berkeley, until security escorted him off campus.
His luck changed after winning a local singing talent contest, held in a living room within his house where he was the only contestant and also served as judge. Inspired, Hung ended up singing at local town meetings and events. Although Hung has always claimed he was asked to perform at these functions, the grand majority of the time he was actually asked to stop, stop ... please fucking stop. (Really, no more.)
Recently voted out: BENSON - Braydie - Codeine - Insineratehymn - Ljlego - Mhaille - Oscar Wilde - Sannse - Savethemooses - The Thinker - Zombiebaron
Did you know...
- ...that was just dreadful?
- ...that you can't sing whatsoever?
- ...I'm rich enough to hire someone to kill you, and after that performance I'm genuinely considering it?
- ...that the only reason Paula said 'yes' is because she's drunk off her ass?
- ...or maybe just she wants to sleep with you?
- ...I'm not really British?
On this day...
December 10: Nobel Prize ceremony awards
- 2000 BC - Egypt gets flooded. Greeks keep melting ice in Aegean Sea. Egypt submits to Mayas in request for help. The great pyramids are decided to be built.
- 1868 - The first traffic lights are installed outside the Houses of Parliament in London. No prizes are awarded, however, as they won't be invented until 33 years later.
- 1901 - The Nobel Prize for Having Died is awarded to Swedish chemist and industrialist Alfred Nobel, for having died on this day in 1896.
- 1936 - The Nobel Prize for Abdicating the Throne is awarded to Edward VIII, for being the only British monarch to voluntarily relinquish the throne.
- 1945 - Nobel Prize for Killing People is controversally awarded to Joseph Stalin, sparking a split in the Nobel committee between pro-gulag and pro-holocaust members.
- 1985 - The Generic Nobel Prize is awarded to the winner for great achievements in his specific field of excellence.
- 1986 - The Nobel Prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending that is awarded to the Nobel Prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending is awarded to the Nobel prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending. (insert inane and stupid ending here)
- 1987 - Nobel Prize for Chemistry is swallowed by an eel. Laureate Heidelberg Wimschurst is awarded tic-tac in its place.
- 1989 - The Nobel Prize in Procrastination is put off until next year.
- 1997 - Nobel Prize for Cynicism is awarded, yet again, to some guy who only won it because he is friends with the voting elite.
- 2004 - The Nobel Prize in Procrastination will be awarded soon. Really. Just give me five seconds, okay?
- 2005 - The Nobel Prize for Predictable Conservative Humour is awarded to those wacky Demoncrats who bumble around in congress, flip-flopping away, raising taxes and spending our hard-earned money while terrorists rape and murder our children.
- 2006 - Bruce Forsyth receives the Nobel Prize for Hosting Strictly Come Dancing. In a statement, he says: Proud to receive this award, to receive this award, proud.
One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's Valley of the Dolls.
In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared:
- That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged,
- Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range,
- Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel,
- I dare not but apease her wealth with meal.
- But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test;
- What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest.
This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI!
Image Credit: Prettiestpretty
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images