User:King Sweaterhead/Pages/Cats

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Kittenhitman

This is called the "Sniper Kitty"

See also cats

Little Furry Death Creatures are the truth to the rumors of death and destruction. They represent all the good and evil or the world. They are cute and stuff, but will shoot the fuck out of anyone or anything that ceases to be useful to them.

edit Origins

Little Furry Death Creatures were invented in Egypt sometime during 7500 AD by Some Russian Dude to be used in The Future specifically in modern Russia. Although the Russians designed LFDCs for Egypt, they decide to give the Egyptians the fat and smart-but-not-strong LFDCs and keep the truly homocidal ones for themselves.

During the 1970s LFDCs learned that their human creators were dumbasses and decided that they should just watch them dance like the monkies they were, but realized that their dancing sucked and created Dracula to suck their blood, but "Dracula Don't Suck" so that backfired.

The LFDCs decided to erase the memories of their stupid human creators. Humans now believe them to be called "cats." One individual living in Barstow, California thinks that they are aliens.

edit "Domestication"

"Cats" now lie around all day doing nothing. When they see a tiny moving thingy they watch it move while telekinetically telling it how to kill their human masters. Some cats, in particular the "Delta Turtle" and the ones ment for Russia will attack TMTs.

edit Models

edit "Five Sent"

Code: "Russian Blue"

The original Little Furry Death Creatures. These models were named after the first FS, Nicoli, who was sent into the future and stationed in Barstow, California. They are very homocidal while not being physically the strongest. In fact, they may be the weakest.

edit "Genocide"

Code: "Iraq Orange"

The LFDCs stationed in Iraq and Iran. They had no idea what the hell the difference was so they went crazy killing everything on sight until nothing was left. One of them acts on Code: LYOKO as Odd Della Robbia.

edit "Delta Turtle"

Code: "Dumbass"

The stupider of the LFDCs. They are the most dangerous. They are the sleeper agents of LFDCs, and will began to destroy anything upon hearing the words "OK, I'll pet you."

edit "Fat and Smart Ones"

Code: "Egyptian Meow"

The second model. These are stationed in Egypt and are created under couchs in America. The fat ones grow to be the size of three normal LFDCs.

edit "Chaotic Insanity"

Code: "American Long Hair"

Insane. Not much of a threat. Don't eat much. Will flee from any signs of anything.

edit "Stable Sanity"

Code: "American Short Hair"

Truly, truly, frightening. The leaders of the LFDC world. Their intelligence is like no stupid human could possible imagine. If you see one, run like a fucking... fucking thingy... away. They have limited "official" control over the other LFDCs but can trick them into racing towards them and then attacking you. Avoid at all costs.

edit How to be safe

To avoid death by a Little Furry Death Creature, you must--

Personal tools
projects