User:Un-Kakun/Lars von Trier

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Lars von Trier, commonly known in English-speaking countries as Danish Terrier's Arse or Bitchslapper, is an extinct breed of dog originating in Denmark.

Breed History

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The Terrier's Arse was developed in Copenhagen from the Jewish Terrier and the Nudist Terrier by Satan himself in 1995, in an effort to create the very first sex toy terrier. Satan chose the name Terrier's Arse after he observed the breed's negative behavior towards men and bitches. The breed was first introduced at the 1991 Cannes Terrier Festival, where it won the Jury Prize, and in response peed all over the President of the Jury's head. It has also participated in the 82nd Canines Film Festival, where it lost the Lifetime Achievement Award to Lassie.


Having being bred as a satanic sex toy, the Terrier's Arse enjoyed spending most of his time tormenting his bitches. One of his favorite habits was peeing on his own nails until they got really rusty, and then scratching the vagina of one of the bitches he has most recently seduced. For this reason, most owners of a Terrier's Arse tended to call it Rusty.

Further breeding

In an effort to overcome the many rumors about the Terrier's Arse being a Jew, Satan has bred it into the Hungarian White Terrier's Arse (Hungarian: Béla Tarr). Nowdays, after the extinction of the original breed, the Hungarian Trier's Arse became an important subject of research. Scientists have even succeeded to record entire dreams of this breed. All of these recordings are of course in black and white. This new breed also apparently enjoys tormenting humans.

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