User:Kajematch

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Kajematch
Scientific classification
Kingdom Orthedontal
Phylum Chewy
Class Teal Mage
Order Order of the Iron Tree
Family Mine
Genus Match
Species Cage
Binomial name
Ladderus Matchus
Specifications
Primary armament Twinlinked Lascannon
Secondary armament Stormbolter
Power supply Duck Moisture
Health 400
Mana 30
Strength 12
Intelligence 5
Weight 8
Length 3
Special attack Final Slash
Conservation status
1 in Existence
“I'm Old Gregg.”
~ Old Gregg on Kajematch
“400 babies!!!!!”
~ Powerthirst testimonial giver on lack of relevance to article

Kajematch is an Uncyclopedia member with minimal humorous contribution or necessary membership. He was born in some really poor place and by freak coincidence found an internet. This internet gave him the ability to shoot people and slay orcs and watch people do burnouts, things otherwise impossible in the real world. He now seeks to edit the Uncyclopedia in an attempt of what he calls "humour". With any luck he'll come up with something good for his userpage.

edit Early life

Kajematch was born in the year 3074 of the third age of Middle Earth. His childhood friends constantly tried to convince him they were Saiyans and had snake DNA and shit like that. This lead Kajematch to believe that the sun isn't a planet and that Elvis is dead. He is so wrong.


edit Skills and abilities

Being a Kaje (cage), and thus being made of metal, the Kajematch can be smelted, forged, welded and broken by Kung Fu masters. Kajematch can also contain prisoners, animals, midgets and xylophones, storing them for the winter.


edit Possible relation to Johnny Cage and that Kage guy from Virtua Fighter

Nah.



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