User:KP

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Prepare for alcoholic rehab.


Writer of the month Writer of the Month November 2005

Spleen
   
writing good stuff
& clearing out cruft


Just remember:

Truth is stranger than fiction. Life is tragedy and tragedy is often hilarious.
Oscar Wilde

Check out the super-duper contest at the bottom of this page! Also check out the secret contest.

edit Selected Past Articles and Contributions







edit Bloodbath

edit Disney Empire

edit Other Articles

edit In Production

  • Amer-Corporatic. A family of languages that includes Gibberish, Legalese, Memotic, Doublespeak, and Jargon.
  • Cadence. In music, it comes in authentic, plagiarized, and deceptive flavors.
  • Cordóba Conquistadores. A Major League Bloodbath franchise.
  • Existentialism. A fatal and terminal disease.
  • Field Theory. We love groups, rings, and fields! Especially when they go bad.
  • Hypolyricism. A condition where a song has too few lyrics.
  • Ultra-Grammar. Grammatical usage guidelines for the literate time traveler.
  • Wernher von Braun. Nazi rocket scientist who later helped Disneyland to develop advanced weaponry.

edit Cautions and Warnings

I make lots of edits in rapid succession. Sorry for my anal tendencies about spelling, formatting, typography, and (in)accuracy.

Those looking for 100% pure misrepresentations and lies in my constributions to the Uncylopedia will be disappointed by the large numbers of actual true facts and data.

If you follow the Recipe For Disaster, you will get a sloppy gooey poor excuse for mayonnaise (that will fail to emulsify). And salmonella.

You can book a room at the Paris Hilton on Expedia. Descriptions of the Paris Hilton in the Uncyclopedia are reasonably accurate.

edit Super-Duper Fantabulous Contest! Guess just who is KP!

What do you know about KP? Try the following quiz:

1. What is KP’s gender?

  • Male
  • Female
  • Intersex
  • Transgender
  • None of the above

2. What is KP’s age?

  • Under 13 (child who should be kept away from Uncyclopedia)
  • 13–17 (sexually experimenting teen)
  • 18–24 (shallow Generation Y member with a sense of entitlement)
  • 25–34 (disenchanted and cynical Generation X member)
  • 35–44 (scheduled for mid-life crisis)
  • 45–54 (self-absorbed Baby Boomer)
  • 55–64 (conceived during World War II)
  • 65–74 (retired and wasting time on Uncyclopedia)
  • 75–84 (wasting away in a retirement home)
  • Over 85 (putting off senility by writing on Uncyclopedia)

3. How much education does KP have?

  • Less than grade school (but miraculously literate)
  • Completed grade school, but did not go to high school
  • Completed high school, but never went to college
  • College drop out (dropped out due to drug problems)
  • Completed college degree, but no postgraduate work
  • Completed a masters or a professional degree
  • Made a bad life choice and actually acquired a doctorate

4. What are KP’s political beliefs?

  • Anarchist
  • Liberal
  • Conservative
  • Fascist
  • Libertarian
  • Socialist
  • None of the above

5. What does KP do for a living?

  • Mooch off legal guardians while living it up as a student
  • Prostrate self to customers working retail
  • Absorb grease while working in fast food
  • Program computers and insert bugs into code
  • Design and engineer things in a way that will ensure structural or mechanical failure
  • Act pretentious and make art
  • Mooch off state while living off welfare or disability
  • Screw people over using lawyer special powers
  • Screw people over using medical special powers
  • Ruin young people by crushing their spirits in an educational setting
  • Sell out to corporate America
  • Make no profit by working non-profit
  • None of the above

6. Where does KP live?

  • Middle of nowhere
  • New York
  • Los Angeles
  • Chicago
  • Philadelphia
  • Houston
  • Phoenix
  • San Francisco
  • Washington DC
  • Toronto
  • Vancouver
  • Outside of North America
  • None of the above

Submit your answer to the quiz to my talk page. The first person answering all questions correctly will receive a special prize of nothing! Nothing lasts forever, nothing works better, nothing will solve all of your problems!

edit “Find the Secret Deep Within Uncyclopedia” Contest!

I have hidden a secret deep within Uncyclopedia. Find it. It is not just a simple message. When you do find it, sign my talk page.

edit Help write Disney history

As some of you may know, I’ve been working out a series of Disneyland articles. Some of you have been feverishly working on images and pictures. Thank you Splaka and Elvis! Also, much thanks to Marcos Malo. More discussion on the series can be found here.

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