User:Juan Kerr

You have Jew messages.

“I’m going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to fucking kill Juan Kerr.”

—Steve Ballmer on Juan Kerr

“Nah, he wouldn't hurt a fly.”

—Juan Kerr on Steve Ballmer

(I refuse to let the consensus vandalise my certain, oh-so-very-carefully selected user page)

In the news today

SHOCK AS ESCAPED PRISONER CAUGHT FALSIFYING RECORDS

SHOCK AS ESCAPED PRISONER CAUGHT FALSIFYING RECORDS

SHOCK AS ESCAPED PRISONER CAUGHT FALSIFYING RECORDS

(Hit reload for more headlines. Feel free to add stuff to the templates.)

I found it!

That's right, I found the secret hidden deep within Uncyclopedia.

No, I'm not telling you where it is! HAHAHA!

This is me. I also look a lot like Osama bin Laden, and certain people possess photographic evidence of me planting shaped charges in British government buildings.

Machines are made to work for us

Since everyone seems to have one, here's a list of pages I've written or contributed to.

Stupid joke of the month

An Uncyclopedian walks into a bar. The barman says "In Soviet Russia, bar walk into YOU!"