User:Joseph5626/The Fascist Tiger Armies of Nazi Germany

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Nazi Tiger

Tiger Warrior

“I see a tiger, I see the gas, I find out I'm Jewish”
~ Jewish man on the day he was gassed
“Those tigers are bloody dreadful, but they don't scare me or wipe the colour off me face.”
~ British Man on Nazi Tigers

edit Background

When Nazi Germany was finally defeated in WWII many people believed they were gone, but before Hitler "commited suicide", (he was really assassinated, suicide is just another American lie to make it seem like Hitler was unstable and insane), he created a literally under ground army of mutated super tigers that have now come to the surface and are ready for war and/or peace depending on what there acquaintances decide. They were highly trained in the scientific fields and have advanced far beyond technology in certain areas, of course. They have worked on creating quantum crystalline armor and weaponry. something only they will ever achieve. Read more on the weapons and power-ups section of the article. The Tigers were infused with Human, and other, DNA increasing their physical abilities, intelligence, and more. It also altered their appearance and made them German, of course. Their first and current leader is General Joseph S. and he has already taken out surrounding areas. He will be the ruler of the Nazi Tigers for a very long time, and he is the best ruler of the super species... his first target will be the U.K... to be continued

edit Slogan

We'll Gas You're Ass!

“We don't realy use gas anymore it's just what we're famous for.”
~ General Joseph S. on The Slogan

“We gassed them for their own good.”
~ Hitler on The Jews

“In Soviet Russia Jew gas You!!!”
~ A Russian Jew

“We are the proud nazi tigers, but gas is weak compared to modern technology and is too costly. We would never use it because wasting money equals corruption in the government.”
~ General Joseph S. on The Economy

“He's a liar! All rulers love corruption!”
~ Tiger Commoner on Rulers and The Economy
  • History of the Slogan:

The history is kind of obvious. I mean who doesn't know that the Jews Nazis killed millions of Jews with gas, but since it is common belief knowledge that we were so cruel we thought we might as well conform should make it our slogan, our trademark, in memory of those retarded brave, brave Jewish families that the Jews we killed. The Jews We apologize, we will never do it again, with gas.

edit The Perfect Being

“The perfect being has blond hair, blue eyes, isn't a Jew. Basically they can't be me.”
~ Hitler on The Perfect Being
~ Hitler on the day he shot himself

The nazi view of the perfect being was basically the opposit of their leader, Hitler, but that is no longer so. Their leader is the perfect being now and it is not human. In fact, Hitler knew that a humanoid tiger would be the perfect being. Thus the nazi tigers were born, but the rest of that is under the history. I mean come on who would want to be a self-hating person. Oh yeah Hitler would!

edit Their Love for the Jews

  • They are much more kind hearted than former nazis in fact they only kill jews quick and painlessly. They decapitate them shoot them in the head, and other things along that line. The do not use poison gas(its a waste of money).
  • Jewish playing cards- they have made Jewish playing cards. Some of the more famous cards are Joseph Decapitato, Jakob the Liar, and the Star of David in Satins Arms: rookie card.
  • If something bad happens it's the Jews' fault. It is a scientifically proven study done by the tigers.
  • Famous Food: Jewish-nazi soup: soup made by the tigers out of slain Jewish children, since tigers eating people isn't cannibalism, it is quite delicious especially when made in a nice hamster broth with a nice succulant alligator seasoning

edit Nazi Tiger Folk Songs

Gas Pains

O, if your a Nazi you are cool,

And if your Jewish you're insane.

Anyone opposing us plays the fool

Because soon you'll have gas pains.

Gas pains, O gas pains

Yes you'll have gas pains.

Gas pains, O gas pains

They'll destroy your future pains. Cameron is a homosexual nugget

I'm a Nazi by and by

It makes me happy day by day.

I just gassed another guy

And now the Jews are gonna pay.

From gas pains, O gas pains

Yes they'll have gas pains.

Gas pains, O gas pains

They'll destroy all Jews' future pains.

I sing this song to my wife and kids,

I sing it to the shores in distant lands,

I sing it for the highest bids,

I sing it for the rubber bands.

Gas pains, O gas pains

Yes you'll have gas pains.

Gas pains, O gas pains

They'll destroy your future pains.

This song is coming to its end,

For I've learned a terrible fact.

I've found out I'm a Jew my friend,

But at least I'll get gassed not hacked.

Gas pains, O gas pains

Yes I'll have gas pains.

Gas pains, O gas pains

They'll destroy my future pains.

Nazi Tiger Dream Women

Dream Woman, I love you and your blue eyes.

Dream Woman, you almost never cry.

When you see a little Jewish kid you push him in the dirt,

And then you kick him a few times to make sure that he's hurt.

Then, when you offer to relieve him of his pain,

He accepts and you gas his ass all day,

So that his life begins to drain.

So dream woman as your walking down the street,

I wanna see a dead Jewish boy or girl lying at your feet.

And if you turn out to be a Jew, I might just go convert.

We'll marry and our friends will hunt us down

Like we're nothin more than dirt.

“This is my love song to my dream women, a self-hating jew. May I meet gas in my future.”
~ Runaway Jewish Tiger on Folk Songs

edit Peace and War Treaties

Communist Hamster Armies of Evil-Neutral

Demonic Alligators Armies of Southern Florida-Neutral

Flying Eagle Armies of Canada-Neutral(doomed in the war over all)

edit Weapons and Abilities

Quantum Crystalline Armor: This armor can be made of any material. it is created by placing a few layers of atoms forced to maximum density on top of a layer that is phase-shifted making it nearly indestructable.

Quantum Crystalline Weaponry:

  • Blades- Can cut through almost anything.
  • Projectiles- Strictly Medieval weaponry with a plus. They can shoot an arrow 2 miles and only lift there angle a few degrees. They are extremely accurate within a 1 mile range, and they are extremely accurate within a 5-7 mile range with Nazi Tiger Snipers(read more under infantry).

Neutron Laser: A laser that fires an neutrons killing a person from a distance. If a mis fire occurs it will not damage inanimate objects. Neutrons canmot be reflected by an electomagnetic field, positively or negatively chraged.

Tesla's Electron Laser: It has the ability to shoot something anywhere in 5 miles and never misses, but it can only be fired once a week. Anything within a 100 meter radius of the target is also destroyed.

Genetic Alterations:

  • appearance- They appear to be humanoid-tigers because of the alterations to their DNA.
  • physical strength- They're physical strength is 1001.23589621 times higher than a human, allowing them to use the quantum crystalline weaponry and armor. This also makes their hand-to-hand combat better. The Leader's strength is 10,029.1250612893215886218999832145 times stronger than a human. Can run at a speed of 85 mph. They're strength is ungraphable with an adrenaline rush, but they are extremely difficult to anger to that extent. They're normal lifespan is anywhere from 1500 to 2000 years. They mature within 14 to 20 years. THEY ROCK!!!

Shockwave bullet: A bullet that is fired and releases a shockwave when it hits something. If you are within three feet of this shock wave it will go through your body and shatter your insides instantly killing you.

Magnetic Pulse Laser(This weapon is a work in progress): This laser has a strong magnetic force around it and as it goes through your body it will pull all the metals in your body towards it and tear you apart. It also collects the metal and the tigers can use it later. This weapon can also work for rushed mining of valuable metals, but that can be very dangerous and should never be done. It is not an alternative for the real thing. It charges through solar energy, taking a full days worth of sunlight to charge it. Since it isn't one 100% accurate it is only to be used to get yourself out of a tough situation or to eliminated a large number of enemies in a battle(if there are many enemies), because every tiger can fire one shot.

Iron diffusion bullet: Bullets made of a material that break upon entering the body releasing a chemical into the bloodstream that destroys all the iron in the body within 3 minutes. Since living things require iron to live they will die simultaneously with the loss of iron. This does not work on the demonic alligators because they do not require iron in their bloodstream to live.

edit Infantry

Standard unit: Equiped with dagger, sword, and throwing knives. Wears cuantum crystalline armor. Has the set standard strength and speed(in genetic alterations) and makes up majority of the army. They disobey commands at pain of death, and never flee from battle, unless they are told to.

Color Guard: The bearer of the flag, and the morale of a nation. Can run at the speed of 185 mph. Do not fight, but have the ability to see and dodge projectiles. Mostly useless outside of morale and claiming defeated territory.

Nazi Tiger Snipers: They hit their target 9 out of ten times within a 5-7 mile range with any quantum crystalline bow. It takes 1 year to train a sniper and they can only train one at a time. The biggest restricion is that there can only be 15 of them. That is how powerfuls they are. They're also trained in close combat skill and could take on over 150 hamsters from the Communist Hamster Armies of Evil before falling, somtimes even more, but the chances of that being neccessary are highly unlikely. There is one Super Sniper(read more farther down in the infantry section). can run at a speed of 100 mph.

Super Sniper: He has all the same qulities as the regular snipers and more. he can acurately within the range of 10-15 miles 99 out of 100 times. He has not been seen by anyone for ten years, not even by the leader of the army, but he always manages to get the messages send to him somehow, and always knows his missions. He is also the leader of the snipers and takes 5 years to train. He gets commands issued to the other snipers, but how he does it is a mystery, even to the army. His stealth is far beyond comprehension. He can run at a speed of 115 mph.

General Seth: Created much of the weaponry of the army. His intelligence surpasses that of anyone that exists on the face of the earth of any species. He can figure out how to win in any situation having to do with the military, or just every day life. He has discovered a way to read minds making interrogations flow more smoothly. He can figure out what strategy the enemy will use after they make their first few moves, and will figure out a way to counter it. He unfortunately suffers from monomania resulting in several other disorders. These include, but are not limited to, obsessive compulsiveness disorder, meglomania, perfectionism, A.D.D., paranoia, superstition, psychobabble, psychogenic, psychopath, psychosis, and psychosomatic. Unfortunatly it is expensive to send him to a mental asylum so he is usually kept out of public. When in public he wears full body armor and travels in a hover battle tank for solitude.

First Nazi Tiger: She never ages. She is immortal and extremely difficult to kill. She can run at 200 mph and is 5 times stronger than a standard unit. She is the wife of the leader. When the leader is in another country she takes command. Her I.Q. is only a little bit under Seth's, so she has helped in developing technology.

Leader: His strength is mentioned in alterations (top of weapons and power-ups). He has all the abilities of every unit(with exception of special units: Seth and the Super Sniper). He also has abilities of his own. He can run over land at the overwhelming speed of 250 mph, he cannot be defeated in hand-to-hand combat, and his stamina is almost limitless. He lives for hundreds of thousands of millions of years and in all reality will probably die of something other than old age.

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