User:John Lydon/talk archive 1

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edit Welcome!

Hello, John Lydon, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there and there is a window over here if you don't fancy walking down the stairs. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:


Chief welcomes you, but only because he needs someone to love

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but most people enjoy writing something while they are here. If you are critical and think the world would be infinitely better if everyone listened to you, then you should become a teacher, but check out Pee Review while they make sure you aren't a sex offender.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.

OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.

Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.

  • Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight.
  • If you want to create an article, then simply follow this link: User:John Lydon/My sandbox (obviously you can change the "My sandbox" part to say anything you like). Please don't create articles on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
  • Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. It works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
  • Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.

Again, welcome!  Chiefjustice32X 21:30, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

edit Moving pages

Just a heads up, if you need to move a page from your userspace to mainspace in future then you can use the move button that you will find at the top of your page that way it doesn't show as a page blanking and it means you won't have a blank page left in your userspace. Let me know if you have any questions. --Chiefjustice32X 13:50, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

I was not aware you could do that. That would have been easier. Thanks for the heads up. --John Lydon 13:52, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

edit You

I've nominated you for Noob of the Month, just so you know who to send the money to thank. —Pelozurian (talk) 04:24, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Cool, thanks. Now if you could just tell my bitch sweet mom that I'm not a total failure and she is wrong about me, that would be awesome. --John Lydon 16:18, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sure thing! But only after you fix your signature. —Pelozurian (talk) 23:19, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

edit Tanks

Nice work. Did you do it all yourself or spork it from wikipedia or somewhere? If all yourself, more than a nice work, very very nice. Since you are newer, I'll be an asshole and interject some comments which I hope help. A couple of spots were, ah, spotty as I read some of it (haven't read it all). The Rosie O'Donnell thing at the start just threw it off for me, such a contrast from the set up you were doing. And one of the things that is often discouraged here are lists. People call them listcruft or something like that. I had to be learned about that myself when I was a young pup, as well as the random thing, which is where Rosie falls (and what a sound she'd make falling!). Anyway, nice work, and now I wander elsehwere, hither and yon. Al des chains 21:07 18 5 MMX

Thanks for the input. I agree that the Rosie thing feels pretty forced. (Well that sentence just sounds dirty all the way around.) I'll continue tweaking it until I'm happy (or bored) but I thought it was decent enough to be released into the main space. Any chance you know about moving pages? I definitely need some help with that. I'm new to the whole Wiki thing and am learning as I go. Any help you can give on how to properly move pages would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks again for the feedback on the article as well. It's always good to hear what others like and don't like so I can ignore them. (Only kidding) --John Lydon 21:14, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

Youse welcome. The only times I've moved a page it's either been just clicking on the "move" button along the top there, next to 'history', or just copy and pasting the whole thing. Yeah, tweaking is the thing, I've read here that the time editing a page should be at least as long as editing it. Many of us tweak our pages for months. I go back over mine and usually find things to change, or links to put in which I'd become aware of since the last time I went thourgh it. Just this morning I was looking at a page of mine which now reads rough in some points. Learning curve, I guess. Al des chains 21:23 18 5 MMX

edit Nice work

GoldenShower Rejoice, John Lydon! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award
For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Your latest review was a real improvement on what we have seen from you before. Keep up the good work, it is greatly appreciated. --Chiefjustice32X 20:05, May 21, 2010 (UTC)

edit Skunk warfare

Dude! Thanks for the review. I've some thinking to do. BTW: I was recently in mob riots and there was the riot boss, paying each and every protester, and the boss wanted "riot deaths" - to blame the government. The people will hardly lift a finger for free. Mobs are organized and paid. But they nuked them before I had a chance to write my article. Ah, well, next time. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:28, May 28

Wow! You're a genius. As soon as I made the main changes you suggested it is immediately featured on HowTo. Thanks again. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:20, May 29

I'm glad everything worked out. I drink a lot and wasn't really sure if I was actually reviewing your article or just hallucinating. I guess even blind squirrels find a nut now and again. Congrats on the feature! --John Lydon 13:14, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Adoption

Happy to oblige if it is what you are after. Simply add this: {{Adoptee|ChiefjusticeDS}} to your user page and move all your stuff in by Thursday night. You'll find your mattress in the small cupboard near the stairs, just underneath my satchel.... don't look inside the satchel. Also, don't mind all the people in the bathroom, it's just we haven't anywhere official to put the Pee committee at the moment, so they are using it for the Annual General Meeting. --Chiefjustice32X 20:26, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created RC Cola, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

edit Cow

Thanks, that was a good pee. I agree with many of your suggestions and will take some time to think them over. Oh and yeah, the founder's name changing was intentional - this was to give the impression that his parents don't really care about him (ie. they don't really know, or care, what his name is). Perhaps it doesn't work... anyway, thanks again. --Black Flamingo 22:02, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Speaking of Pee, with 6 in-depth reviews, it looks like you're eligible to be in PEEING. And I KNOW I'm right this time.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 08:48, June 08 2010 UTC

edit Cheers for all that piss

Thanks for the review on the Mafia article. I is a uber n00b, but Uncyclopedia has been my inspiration in the last few hours days decades. I tried to leave as much as possible by other contributors, but after reading ur review I understand most of it was pure random crap and wouldn't fit with the new stuff. Very insightful pissing indeed. Godspeed. --SonOfPhyllis 23:40, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

edit An invitation I have never used before, anywhere, ever

Hello John Lydon, it has come to my attention that your reviews since joining Uncyclopedia have been of a very high standard and as such would like to invite you to join People for the Evaluation of Excrement and Influencing Nominations for Greatness. Membership will grant you several benefits, a groovy template to put... wherever you like and it will also make you eligible for the Reviewer of the Month award, which is a real award with votes and everything.

If this seems like your idea of a good time then simply add your signature to the Fresh Stains section of the committee page, or ask me for help if you aren't sure what to do. Good work so far, keep it up.

--Chiefjustice32X 18:27, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

edit Tantra, thanks!

Hello, and thank you for your pee of Tantra. You gave some very good advice, and Funnybony and I will work from them. The babysitting thing, right on. Will lessen that. Some of the links do need to go, too many at times. I like many of the wikipedia links, because they do a little more to educate the reader interested in tantra yoga and sexual satisfaction. The "thems" line was one I really like, it works when the entire sentence is taken as a whole. Babysitter pic will go, bye bye. But I love the tiger woman! She creeped out Funnybony too! Creepy pic, thumbs up. Well, you did very good, it will help a lot, and I'll get busy on it within the day. Thanks very much again. Aleister 00:44 11 6 MMX

Hey....only I'm allowed to review Al's articles...even though I'm too busy to... ;__;--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 07:18, June 11 2010 UTC

edit Tank you, tank you

Thank you for your review of Miss Teen South Carolina. I'm sure pee reviewers don't always get thanked, so I might as well. You provided clarity and direction for future edits, which the article desperately needed seeing as it was concieved on caffeine high (usually never a good idea). I really liked your idea of making a more wholesome encyclopedic article about her, I personally believe that is a good direction to take it. such as. 谢谢你,你很聪明 ^^ --TheGreatOmNom 02:49, June 12, 2010 (UTC)

edit Anarchists (who R so improper) accusing diplomats of acting improper

That is the joke. But it was too out of date for you. I would have deleted it before if I knew how. But thanks for the effort. I read all the review and noted all the advice. Again late thanks, as I just noticed the review. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:23, Jun 12

edit Tantra too

'lo Jo(hn). Per your great pee review I've done lots and lots of edits on Tantra, deleted whole sections and the photo you didn't like (not the scary Tiger woman, must keep the scary Tiger woman). Kept many of the wikipedia links, for educational purposes. Lots of things now in references. If you have a few minutes please have a glace at it, I'd like to have your comments and see if there are any quick fixes to do. Thanks again! Aleister 1:59 15 6 MMX

I'd be happy to look it over for you. --John Lydon 11:54, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

Wow, thanks. For the comments and for the nom. I have to run like the wind now, but will write a comment on it a little later crediting the original oh-so-serious author by name, and of course some bright-eyed character who did an excellent pee review and is undoubtedly practicing what he learned from the article (to the delight of young ladies everywhere). Aleister 12:32 15 6 MMX

edit Thanks heaps

You just reviewed my article (Only for a True Uncyclopedia Fan) and it was just the kind of response I was hoping for. I'm about to start editing now. Thanks heaps again, that was awesome. --Some Idiot 22:41, June 17, 2010 (UTC)

I think I've finished the article, although I have another idea I might add. Check it out here. Tell me what you think, and if it's so 'Random' now. An if there's anything I can add, of course. --Some Idiot 23:50, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks for the review

See above. I thought long and hard about your suggestion to change the pops out of the vagina bit. I've decided to keep it in as a satire of the kind of crude reductionist statements that some pro-choice people make. Cheers though. -- sheer Ape (jam) (Riot Porn) 23:16, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

I think it will work either way. Good article all around. --John Lydon 00:31, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

edit I've been wanting to

...leave a message on your page for awhile now 'cause I think you're funny, but I haven't thought of a reason yet.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  23 Jun 2010 ~ 00:42 (UTC)

edit Tantra

Is featured right now. Thank you for all of your great help on it--your review, nom, suggestions, wouldn't have happened without you. Aleister 00:44 23 6 MMX



As much as I like to take credit for stuff I didn't do, Tantra was featured because it was a very well done article. Paying each person 5 bucks to vote for it didn't hurt anything either. --John Lydon 12:42, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

edit thank you for the pee review

I thought you did a great job doing the pee review for my article (What you don't know about Mario & Luigi) so thanks a bunch (it helped a lot). To see the improved article just click here.

--Magic man 01:01, June 24, 2010 (UTC)


About the link thing (on my article) i just forgot to put them in there Thanks

edit The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:34, 24 June 2010

edit Your PLS entry

Squidbillies was deleted, so there's nothing that's keeping you from moving your rewrite into mainspace. It's a really good article, by the way. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:29, 25 June 2010

I can't move it yet because it's still locked. I left a message for Olipro but I have yet to hear back. I've considered just copying the source into the main space but that seems to anger the grues when you do that sort of stuff and I don't want to get eaten. I plan on moving it as soon as I can though. --John Lydon 09:12, June 28, 2010 (UTC)
I asked Chiefjustice and he unlocked it for you. Cheers! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:35, 30 June 2010

edit How about a hand

Hi John. Post Apocalypse is up for VFH and both I and Aliester worked hard on it after a good sensible Pee review. It's now 8-0. Just a couple more FOR votes and its home. If you think it a worthy article - it has come a long way since its Nom by Alister. If you like you can vote HERE. Here's hoping! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 02:21, Jun 29

My contribution was minor, just cut a few words here and there. This is Funnybony's very good article. I see he's worked on it today, so I can't speak for any of the new stuff, but I know he's given me a tee shirt to wear to my Apocalypse cult meetings. Aleister 2:24 29 6 MMX

edit Do you feel like. . .

...doing the chicken dance? Hi. If you feel ambitious, could you pee review the Frat's latest gruel, Chicken? (and why aren't you a member of the frat? Come on, join us, join us. But maybe you already are and I just am too drunk to wander the halls to meet the new members) It's been sitting in the pee que for months now, or at least a couple of weeks or days, and we've already been working on another one all month. Thanks either way. Cluck cluck. Al 14:24 29 6 MMX

Yes, thank you very much. No hurry at all, don't feel rushed before you do it. The frat has had it on pee for a long time, we can "hold it in" for awhile longer. Chickens will be cluckin' with pleasure tonight. And mucho thank you on Well-Oiled Birds, it's to be featured in a couple of hours, and I hope it's read by many people out "there" in the innernests world. Thanks, Al 21:43 29 6 MMX

Read it before seeing your note. Great job! The page is a PETA pamphlet, and you're right, it does need to knock out some of the encylopedic things which slow it up a bit. As for the name, what better use of the name Chicken than to focus on the current injustice of caging 50 Billion of these birds a year. Let them free! It would be like writing about South Africa 20 years ago without mentioning apartheid, about baseball without mentioning steroids, or many other examples. As you say, if we just make clear it's an action pamphlet, although keeping the name (the pamphlet was the direction the frat agreed on, and hey, why aren't you in our frat! Are you a hippie, or a commie or something! Join us join us) should fix a lot. I'll get back to it later, thanks again on behalf of the frat, who will come for you tonight and put a hood over your head and bring you to our clubhouse. Aleister 14:19 30 6 MMX

edit Um

You moved the talkpage into mainspace. Try again with the article itself this time, please. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:48, 30 June 2010

edit All the news that's unfit to print!

--Chiefjustice32X 12:27, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Gold Record

Hey, John, as you know your song is a hit (FA). Maybe some A&R guy will hear it and say, "Yo!" It was quite good musically. I was in an ultra-cool BAND and we're still getting honors heaped on. You can hear me sing here. Rock on!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:23, Jul 1

edit Thanks for the Racecar Bed Racing Review!

Since it was my friend's original article years ago, I'm trying to figure out how to fix up the article and still stay true to the tone and have it be "him". The random tangents are definitely "him." Most of them I had found a way to deal with by putting them as footnotes, that way they can still be in the article without distracting the reader, because they are pretty funny. With the particular one you mentioned, I struggled with that too, because it was a compound sentence, with one vital bit mixed in with the president bit. I didn't want to kill the joke altogether, so I didn't know what to do there. Anyhoo, thanks again for all the info! It was really great advice. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 02:02, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

edit Review Needed

Hey John. Got an article up on Pee Review called 'Gondor'. No ones reviewed it yet, so I thought I'd ask you to. Are you up to the job? --Some Idiot 06:07, July 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the review. I've improved most of it but I'll get onto the real stuff soon. Thanks again, --Some Idiot 21:27, July 6, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks for the review

I'll be sure to revise meh article a bit--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 05:07, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

edit Signpost: normal service resumed

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:03, Jul 9

edit Twanks

Thanks for your vote on "Rolex". I think it's a fine page with lots of help from Skinfan's pee review. I guess my most thanks is you probabaly actually read more than the first two paragraphs (hell, I would have voted for it for the 2nd paragraph alone!). Appreciated. Aleister 00:21 14 7 (oh look, 7, 14, and 21!)

edit You, personally, averted the Apocalypse


Post Apocalypse made it in to cue, thanks to you. Now there is no chance it will happen.

Much thanks--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 15:56, Jul 15

edit Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:30, 16 July 2010

edit Thanks

I want to thank you for voting for on my article Dear Mr. Hornet. Also, thanks for the review.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 18:34, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

--Chiefjustice32X 14:10, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit Graduation day

Ah, that time has come at last, you have garnered attention, admiration and er... attention from the uncyclopedian community and seem to be able to go several days without needing my help, thus I have chosen to graduate you from Adopt-A-Noob and set you off into the cold, cruel world alone.

Very well done for all the work you have put into your articles, UnTunes and reviews; I hope we will see more of them in future. If you have any further questions that need answering in future then don't hesitate to ask, I shall be around. Otherwise well done (remember to change the AAN template on your user page for this one), now get out of my cellar and take that blasted ukulele with you! --Chiefjustice32X 14:34, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

  • Thanks for all your help along the way. You can keep the ukulele to remember me by. --John Lydon 14:40, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit Monster Party

Reviewed it here. --Some Idiot Image002 06:30, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

edit You may be interested to know...

I just got back from seeing Public Image Limited live. I was inches away from you. --Black Flamingo 00:40, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit Just wanted to say thanks for loving my article, reviewing it, voting it, and also loving it

Cheesy-bar-guy Hey there you. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you followed my advice. *Hick* If you need anything else, feel free to ask something something or other. I need anofer shisky shour.

edit Congrats

Pee reviewer of the month award Reviewer of the Month July 2010

This is for you, treasure it. Also keep reviewing, you may not be my noob any more but I can still administer a damn good thrashing if necessary. --Chiefjustice32X 07:16, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Contest today, August 2nd (U.S. time) or 3rd (civilized world time)

Happymonkey called for a writing contest which will start at 2:00 UTC (10 p.m. eastern time in the United States and other weird countries). Contestents will give each other an exact name of an article at app. 9:59 eastern time, and then we will write until 11:15 (3:15 UTC). We need at least one judge who will look at all the articles, say nay, or yay, or something, and tell us whatever they want to. Please sign up on Happymonkeys talk page, as participant or judge(s), and then we can pair people up around 9:30 eastern and let them know who they will give their page title to. (Inspired by DrSkullthumper's contest of a month or so ago). Aleister 16:05 2 8

edit It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:15, 5 August 2010

edit Monster Party

Jeez, John. That article is perfect. Any other picture would mess it up. My I have the honor to Nom it? That article is one of the best I ever saw.. too good to fix. But, I am able to offer you the chance to save my co-creation, Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnBooks:Keith Richards, which just needs one tiny little vote to survive. That is, if you think memory loss is funny when its intentional. Pleeeeese. Now, may I Nom your Monster Party? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:40, Aug 9

edit UnBooks:Jeff Beck Illustrated

Here's an old cat (66) who still rocks big time, who has no memory loss, and who just happens to be god. Could you do me a favor? Can you put a light-orange (peach) color back ground to this entire article, leaving the article as it is, but putting a peach colored back ground (like you did with green on Monster Party). That would be much appreciated. BTW: Monster Party made me laugh out loud. A master piece. Please keep me up to date on your work, cause I was not aware of Monster Party, and I don't have time to stalk people. You're getting better with each article. Don't forget to vote for Monster on VFH. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:57, Aug 9

Good start, thanks. Can the color be tan, and all the text be black? And the center box be wider so it fits the You Tube at the bottom? The narrow box down the middle is not even necessary as it also crunches the text, which needs to be wide. What would be ideal is to have the entire back ground in 'light-tan' color with wide and black text (no box). I would fix it up except for one slight problem, I'm an idiot at coding (and some other things too, such as rocket-surgery, hehe!). Your help is really appreciated. And hope I'm not asking too much. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:45, Aug 9

edit Hey, Bro

Nah, na na nah nah! (pouts) so there! (raspberry)--Ohnogodnotagain 17:13, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

edit Lets be friends again

John, you is the bestist big bruvver in the world. I love my present! (its bad parenting, you know) --Ohnogodnotagain 17:49, August 11, 2010 (UTC)


I love you really x

edit Um...

Yeah, I moved your article to the correct title "User:John Lydon/Back To The Future", but you were editing the wrong title "User:John Lydon\Back To The Future" at the same time. The latter title is wrong because it doesn't identify your page as being in your userspace but instead treats it as a separate user account. So, um, could you add your content from the \ page to the / page and request the deletion of the \ page at QVFD. Sorry for the mix up. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:20, 12 August 2010

edit Hey, Bruv

Oh, how I wish I could; but I'm just a child, and lack the necessary skills...(sniff) x--Ohnogodnotagain 18:44, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

p.s. I just submitted my article to Black Flamingo for a Pee Review. Would you please say a prayer for me. Maybe two. Or cast some runes of something? Invoke a deity? Thank you x --Ohnogodnotagain 18:47, August 12, 2010 (UTC)
You are....wonderful. How lovely; thank you, John. It would be so nice to have a sparkly user page - and truly I appreciate your lending your time and skills to do it. Lavender is my favourite, I like pink, and blue, too, but the pale, pastelly shades, you know? But really, anything that you think would be nice I'd be more than happy with, whatever you think. Please don't go to too much trouble; and - thank you, John... so much. x--Ohnogodnotagain 21:06, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

edit Beautiful

Oh, John, it's beautiful! How do you DO that? You're so clever! I love the colours and everything - especially the fluffy bunny article (but the Monster Party, although it's very good, frightens me a bit, so you'll have to take that away and put that back in the toy box). I guess I always knew you'd be climbing out of the cot first and setting off on adventures of stunning creativity and general all-round clever-pants-ness; and I'm very, very proud of my big bruvver. Thank you, it's wonderful, if I could have invented it, I would have done it exactly like that x--Ohnogodnotagain 16:44, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

p.s...and those little coloured boxes at the top - how do you DO that?? Anyway, here's a lovely thank you cake from me to you. Enjoy! x--Ohnogodnotagain 17:14, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

A cake for you Bruvver John x

Thank you again, I appreciate your help. By the way, you know I told you my article was being reveiwed? Well, what happens? If it's rubbish, and it get huffed (that's already happened to me once, although that was a really, really rubbish article, I think this one's much better) can you ask for it back to work on it some more? How does the points system work? What's a good score? What if nobody thinks its funny? --Ohnogodnotagain 07:21, August 14, 2010 (UTC)
John, I just got a fantastic review from Black Flamingo. It's stunning, he must have spent an age on it. It's so detailed and so relevant, I can't believe the effort he's put into it. Thanks for your reply, it is very helpful indeed and settled my mind. It became clear on reading the review what you meant about it not being a competition; the points are there to show which areas you're weak/strong in. The review comments all made sense, and when he said it, I could see it, you know? Do you know what I mean when I say that you become sort of blind after a while, looking at your work for so long? It gets difficult to be objective. What I lack mainly is experience, of course, but to be given such an in-depth appraisal with such valuable advice lends you a handle on that very experience. I'm so excited, I feel I know what it should look like now, know what I need to do. I have direction. They're bloody good, aren't they?-- 18:33, August 14, 2010 (UTC) OOps!--Ohnogodnotagain 18:48, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

edit Adoption

Hey man, I don't exactly know where to put this, so I tried the most likely spot. I've seen you around a bit. You're the guy who's code I copied who helped me figure out my sig, actually. Lot's of help there, so thanks! Yeah, we go way back, you just don't know it.

And just now, I was browsing through the adoption page, and I saw you, and I was like, "Hey, I know that guy! I've seen him around a bit!" Seriously, it was wonderful. It was like an incredibly pathetic, one-sided reunion.

Anyway, my point with all this is... You're a familiar face, and I'm looking for someone to adopt me. Free to a good home. I'm completely potty-trained too, stopped wetting my bed months ago. Care to take me on? :) -- Conquest Yo! Mofo! 15:55, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit Stylistic Preferences?

I'm working on UnBooks:A Bad Day at the Office, but I've gotten caught up in a wave of self-doubt about the style of humor I'm writing. Basically, I'm worried it might be... too understated, I guess is the best word. Should I be more obnoxious? I was just wondering if you would mind reading it over and telling me if the style of humor is what the average Uncyclopedian is looking for when they read an Unbook. Y'know, before I invest too much of my heart and soul in the project. That'd be lovely if you could. You're awesome, mate. -- Conquest Yo! Mofo! 13:47, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

edit Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

--Chiefjustice32X 12:12, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit Chords for Stalker Untunes

Hey, i liked the stalker song. can u tell me the chords played in that? this my first post here so kindly overlook any protocol mishaps. -- 18:21, August 23, 2010 (UTC)

I'm glad you like it. It's been awhile since I recorded that but I think the main riff was E-D-G-A. Don't quote me, because I don't have a guitar in front of me right now, but I think that's right. --John Lydon 15:07, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks man. This song strikes a personal chord with me, and I plan on using this talk+website as proof of my insanity during my inevitable trial.-- 20:09, September 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit A Notice of Continued Existence... and A Quick Update.

So, my master, I just wanted to let you know that yes, I'm still alive. I have been caught up in real-world distractions the past few days, but I've finally had time to sit down at my computer and do some wholesome, nutritious editing.

And so I present you with a progress report. I read that UnBook you showed me. It's funny. I thought about what you said, and I'm reorganizing my story. It now involves - gasp - aliens, said with all the dramatic creepy music that the subject requires. Basically, your standard alien invaders land on the Earth's surface, involving your standard crash-landing of your standard alien spaceship. The aliens then begin your standard world takeover. Meanwhile, our hero, Dave, is just trying to have a normal day at the office. However, due to the chaos swirling around his building and the aliens running around unchecked, he has a bit of trouble with this.

The story ends with your standard planetary explosion. That's all I will say. However, you can read the new and improved intro here. Hopefully you will like it better than the last. Approving smiles and pats on the head are most appreciated. That's all. -- Conquest Yo! Mofo! 00:13, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit Little Old Me

I need you to help me get past my insecurities. I want to do Pee Reviews during the times (like now) that I don't feel like working on my UnBook project...

As long as I give good, in-depth reviews, it doesn't matter that nobody has a clue who I am, right? -- Conquest Yo! Mofo! 19:04, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks for the piss; I've got a drug test tomorrow.

Really good review (the anal probing one). Yeah, I'll definitely take those suggestions for the humor, and thank you for all the praise. As for the character, I was sort of going for a kind of... like, an arrogance. I stuck up asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else. Sort of educated, but in a pathetic way. I'm not sure how good that came across, so any tips as to how or where I could straighten this up would be appreciated. As for the images, like I said, it was done for the 1-hour contest. The images were the last thing I did, and I found them all in about 5 minutes total (I was rushing to meet the deadline). Thanks again. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! Lucky2 20:20,27August,2010

edit Whoring

Hi John, as sluts go, check out this bitch Laird Hamilton up on VFH. You might like her. Hehe!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:46, Sep 1

edit Help!


I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. I really want to write this article, I feel it has a lot of potential.

I don't want you to write it for me, just point me in the right direction. Some ideas for other sections, possibly? As you can see, I'm still learning to write and I guess I'm still fairly dependent on your wisdom, much as I hate to admit it. Please? Pretty please? -- Conquest Yo! Mofo! 22:45, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 13:00, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

edit Monster Party--Yeah!

Congrats, John! Now I still needs 1.5 votes to save THIS - hope you can help. What's up next? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:24, Sep 10

edit Laird Hamilton won’t dare you to paddle out at Jaws


Whew, thank you. Laird was gonna stomp my arse if he didn’t get featured. Is it safe? Thanks to you!

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:34, Sep 13

edit Back to the Future

I reviewed it here.--Some_idiot.png (CUN) 21:40, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

edit Harry Harry Spoof

Hi John. I nommed this massive spoof on the Harry Krishna Movement. Hope you vote for it. It's a lot of material and a year of work. Its the feature article on HowTo right now. Your vote could keep it moving. BTW: Do you have anything ready for me to see? Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:48, Sep 15

edit Thanks...

For the review on Marshmallows. You pointed out just the right things that were wrong, which I hadn't really noticed and for that I am grateful. I must confess; the external image of the reverse toasting was something I liked on it's own, but really there's no place for it here and I was just trying to find a way to squeeze it in. A Freddo is a frog-shaped chocolate bar which is now rare, even in the UK, so to save explaining this I'll remove the reference. However, I can't see how I can make the sex paragraph any less patronising without removing entire ideas.

Thanks again anyway. thehallway 18:25, September 16, 2010 (UTC)

edit I'm fucking protesting

Thank you on pee. It's weird to define forms of humor. Maybe not. Maybe yes. You should be relative in some points of your life.Then you can be more formed at uncyclop typing. I will change my article. Ono ... kao... mate... --Bx228 17:27, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit Pee Week

This user took part in Pee Week 2010 and finished with a positive score.

In recognition we hereby award them the title and rank of "A rather spiffing chap". Envious? Want to get templates, fans, stuff and more?

Review something! It's more fun than sleeping!


Thanks for helping out! --Chiefjustice32X 22:41, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnBooks:Author_of_the_Month

Hi John. Anything ready to Nom? I'm your man. I wanted to mention that our always-helpful bud, Aleister, is up for the above award. So I'm not an whore. I'm a pimp. BTW: Haven't seen you on VFH these days. Is you da busy? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:19, Sep 25

edit WTF

Just saw the above, what's that pimping, Funnybony. Cut it out. Hi John. I'm not maintaining the birthday/dates page, just adding on users I run across when categorizing pics. I may see a name I don't recognize, follow it to the user page and then see if the person has lots of edits for a span of time, and then add them to the list. It's interesting to me to list and research many of the "early" uncy people, from '005 and '006. The idea of years and days, etc., is interesting but may be inaccurate, as many of these users left long ago and never came back. So a 2005 guy who was very active for seven months and never again, for example, could be described as a seven-month user. Some of these guys have very interesting user pages, and lots of them seem to have been obsessed with grues. Thanks for the offer though. And since I'm here, thanks very much for your vote on uncy of the month. Monkey deserves it, but my ego is hoping for a tie. And somewhere along the line you will def. get Writer of the Month, so clear a space on your cyber-shelf for that (I personally am looking at Funnybony, Maniac1075, Skinfan if he comes back, and SPIKE for that award too. I really enjoy Maniac's weirdness). Long note, so I'll be on my way, mosey down the road a bit. Aleister 19:31 28 9

Hello, and I'd like to formally after the fact thank you for your vote on uncy of the month. Your trust is obviously misplaced, and perception may be an issue to discuss with your therapist, but hey, since you're living in enough of a dream world to vote for me, thanks! Very appreciated. (and I'm glad Monkey and I tied) Aleister 17:46 1 10

edit Hall of Shame

Hi John. You have 3 full features to your credit? If so then you should be in the Hall of Shame. Did you collaborate on any of those three? If not, then you have a "hat trick" = 3 FAs. And that means you go in the Hall. What else is new on your side? Anything ready? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 15:18, Oct 4

OK, I added you to Uncyclopedia:Hall of Shame. But please go and make your listing alphabetically in order in the 3 FA list. You'll be amazed at the place. Now you're IN, dude! Hey, what are you working on that's ready or needs a collab? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:55, Oct 6
You are in the Hall, man. People will clamor for collabs, send you money, provide beau-ti-ful and exotic women for your pleasure. The Hall, you are swimming amongst the Gods and Goddesses! And seriously, I like it when new members come in, that's nice, and try to see if someone needs one more (Iwillkillyou needs one) and try to help out their pages. As for alphabetizing, I tend to put my name at the end of the number, figuring those others had gotten there before me and should still have that position in the reptilian-brain sense of hierachy. But that's me. Congrats on your joining the club! And you piece looks fine and is defin. worth keeping and polishing. But I'm very bad at critizing other pieces, I can see the good in most of them and at least perceive a train of thought and storyline. That's why I don't often vote delete at VFD, esp. for long articles where the person put energy and creativity into it. And yes, your piece has potential, although I'm not a big gamer and don't know if it's a real game or you're playing with the Mapquest name and idea. Density here, Aleister 17:33 19 10

edit Review

I just happened to log in a few minutes after you posted your very good review of Calif.Mar.Inititive. Thank you--extreme thanks--you are so good at these and I appreciate all your kind words and criticisms equally. Will follow-up on your ideas and even incorporate some of your lines if you don't mind? I've always had a problem with the Cheech and Chong stererotype of potheads, they represent the stupidist of people when they're on grass (when a moron gets high you're going to get a high moron)(Hey, maybe that line is useable!). And now the public has that image. The image of Carl Sagan or Bob Wilson (who would write his books first straight, then rewrite high, then edit straight again, then high again, and finally straight) or anyone with an IQ over 90 on grass wouldn't fit the sterotype, so it's out there as is. Will try to include more of that without totally reinforcing the image. Speakin' of images, thanks for your comment on the pop-ups. I've used a couple apiece (don't want to overdo those) on "Disguise" and on the page I'll put up on VFH later today for Halloween, "Cemetery of the Absurd". Well, I'll work on California using your suggestions (will have to clarify the bottom image more, it was supposed to be used as a voter's card here, for people to take into the voting booth with them), and thought of nomming it when the seven days were up but, as always, a review once again greatly helped. That's where the discussion about going straight to VFH without a review falls short, if one is aviable from someone like you and a few other of the really good reviewers here, then that's well worth any wait. I've had quite a few pages up on VFH lately, the latest "Dreaming" which I'm really glad to see is passing because I loaded it up with good data, so after the two timely ones are considered I'll take a VFH break for 2 or 3 weeks. This gets really long, so thank you again, mucho, for your fine review and useful ideas. Aleister 16:43 22 10

edit Thanks

for the Bronco McStabber review. I think I got a bit carried away with putting in every double entendre I could remember. I'll get round to changing things along the lines you suggested, just maybe not soon - I'll give it a break for a month or so. --Sog1970 22:17, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit California

I've been editing, and pruning, and expanding. Getting there, but not there yet. I've incorporated some of your language, you genius you. Keepin' you updated. Aleister thanking you again 23:10 25 10

Still later. I think it's in pretty good shape now. Do I have your blessing, kind reviewer? (and thanks yet again!) Aleister 11:50 26 10
Later still. Have VFHnommed the page, due to topicality (election is next Tuesday). And smoke 'em if you've got 'em. Aleister 11:51 28 10

edit Sincere thanks


WOTM is the heaviest award ever - just see.

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:09, Nov 1

edit Still more thanks

Yo!!! California Marijuana Initiative is sitting on the main page, thanks to your great review, several funny lines you suggested, and your kick in the pants to make it better. Thank-a-you-a-very-much! The issue lost, which is good, because now everyone will stop smoking that stuff and we will be a healthier and saner world. Marijuana is a thing of the past, thank God and His loyal servants on Earth. Thanks again! Aleister 12:37 4 11

edit UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again!

edit The Grue Army

Hey John Lydon, Meganew and I were wondering, if you would like to join the grue army. We think some work could really drive you up the ranks (maybe even to admin-ship). If so just write back here or on my talk page and Meganew or I will add you. You can click all the links at the top of that page to read all about us. Or go here. Lastly, I don't know if you're one for userboxes but we do have this really cool one you get if you join:

Grue Jammy This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!

--Tophat headless 02:19, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

edit Read All About It!

--Chiefjustice32X 14:23, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.

~ Pointy *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:01 (UTC)

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