From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
You glance up at the clock. "Holy Crap! Only 3 minutes until Family Guy starts!" You exclaim as you sprint down the stairs. You reach the living room with only moments to spare. "Phew! I made it," you say, trying to catch your breath. But what's this? Mother is watching Antiques Road Show?! I didn't even know that show was still on the air! You wrestle the remote away and quickly change the channel. "Son of a bitch!" You yell. "You have got to be kidding me!" You stand in front of the TV, unable to form words to convey your rage. You finally manage to force out the words, "Fucking American Idol live finale." That's right. Family Guy is not on tonight so they can bring you the special 2 hour live finale of American Idol. At that moment, your thoughts crystalize into one burning point. "Kill Simon Cowell".
You grab your car keys and head out the door, ignoring your mother's cries to put pants on before you leave the house. Naked and fuming, you set out for Los Angeles. You need to get there soon, otherwise Simon will be on a plane back to jolly olde' England and out of reach of your vengance. You know that taking I-95 will put you there in no time as long as you can navigate the traffic, or you can take the back way which may take a little longer but won't be as congested. What do you do?