User:John Lydon/RPG/3

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You click on your favorites tab and begin scrolling through your impressive archive of porn sites. Finally deciding on a site, you get down to business. After a few minutes, you realize conventional methods aren't cutting it anymore. You need to spice up your self-love life. Thinking back to an episode of Kung Fu you caught earlier on TV, you decide to try a little asphyxiation. Tying one end of your belt securely to the water pipe in your room, you hook the other end around your neck and begin to masturbate harder than ever.

You experiance pleasure like you never have before. Just before you finish, your mother opens the door. "Oh my God!" she screams. You frantacilly try to free yourself from your belt's grasp so you can cover up. In all the commotion, you stumble and snap your neck. You die instantly. Your mother decides to board the room up, with you still in it, because she can't bear the horrific sight for even one more second.

Ittybitty bullet You are doomed to an eternity of blue balls. Start over.

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