User:Joe9320/Uncyclopedia Stock Exchange
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Here in the Uncyclopedia Stock Exchange (otherwise knwon as USX), we sell and buy shares. We are a stock market. No-commissions trading day every Tuesday. Shares updated every Saturday.
Each share costs the same as the share listed (for example, a share of XXX Corp. costs $30, but in thye next week it costs $21) plus a commission fee of $8. Shares can go either up or down, so if you lost all of the money, you're fucked.
edit Stock Exchange (USX Index)
- SPSD- Space Pirates Software Development ( Up at 87.33 by 70.83 from 16.50)
- CBK- Central Bank ( Steady at 41.23)
- SCLS- Squeaky Clean Laundering Service ( Down at 20.00 by 2.19 from 22.19)
- GTTS- Goa Tse Temple and Store ( Steady at 23.12)
edit Exchange Rates
- Wildes to UNSOC Valjuta ( Down at 0.0065 - 1 Valjuta = 50 Wildes)
- Wildes to Yoinxx (( Down at 9.2532322 - 1 Yoinxx = 1500 Wildes)
- Wildes to U.S. Dollar ( Steady at 0.03425489666215 - 1 US Dollar = 10,000 Wildes)
- Wildes to Credits ( Up at 1893.1415926535898 - 1 Credit = 100 Wildes)
edit Listing requirements
To hvae a business in this stock exchange:
- Your business must have an owner that earns more than $40 (☺$400,000/400 Valjuta)
- Your business must have a bank account
edit Listing Requests
Get your company listed in the stock exchange now! Shares change every Saturday!
edit Goa Tse Temple and Store
The Goa Tse Temple was built by two members of the Goa Tse Clan in 1337 AD. In 1484 AD, the Goa Tse Store was open, where the Goa Tse Clan sell some supplies and food to passers-by, locals and tourists. To request an order, ask at the talk page. The Goa Tse Temple is also a stock exchange. Here is where to go if you want to buy shares. To buy something, ask for it on the talk page and it will eventually be delivered. If you want a job, request it on the talk page. After you buy something, you can just put it on your userpage for something to eat for admins and whatnot. The Goa Tse Temple and Store is founded, operated and funded by the Great Temple of Goa Tse in Q'ake Tu, Giratinaton, with this investment. Here is our bank account from the Central Bank of Uncyclopedia.
Members of the Goa Tse Clan or similar usergroup can receive a 50% discount on purchases. Members of Der Unwehr can receive a 10% discount on purchases.
Shares are updated every Saturday. Supplies and food are restocked every two weeks.
WE SELL EVERYTHING AT RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICES LIKE WAL-MART!
(PLEASE NOTE: Prices are quoted in Wildes and U.S. dollars. Sorry, Valjuta cannot be accepted.)
Fruits, Vegetables and Meat
Microwavable Food and Fuck Goods
Clothes and Books
Video Games and Appliances
Vehicles (Giratinaton Loyola Dealership- Official Loyola Dealership)
edit Goa Tse Clan Signups
Join the Goa Tse Clan NOW! Memebers get a 75% discount!