User:Joe9320/Kim Jong-il

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This page has been screened by Kim Jong-il™ for authenticity and impartiality, and has been given foreign-proof protection for his pleasure. Please also note that no other alternative views exist. Dear Leader is your Jesus. Bow to him. Also, don't bother looking at the lies the capitalist dogs made. Not worth it.

The Dear Leader Kim Jong-il (김정일 친애하는 지도자) , the son of Great Leader and Eternal President Kim Il-Sung, was Dear Leader and now Eternal General Secretary of North Korea. He was a film director, film producer, artist, architect, pilot[1], train enthusiast, composer of six operas, Godzilla fan club president, James Bond enthusiast, great basketballer who can aim for a three-pointer and accomplished it thousands of times, and great golf player, who can do 18 holes-in-one. Don't listen to lies perpetrated by Capitalist pig dogs! They are the hypocritical ones who dreamed of persecuting the GLORIOUS Korean race, disrupt the Juche idea and plan for world domination while the rest of the world is crumbling down in poverty.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Kim Jong-il.

edit Early Life

edit Birth

Our Dear Leader was born a gift for the Great Leader Kim il-Sung, on the holy mountain of Baekdu in a log cabin on January 1942. The Great Leader was told by a swallow that he will have a son that will be a lodestar that brightened the future of Korea. The Dear Leader's birth was marked by the sky full of lightning and thunder, followed by a double rainbowCite error: Closing </ref> missing for <ref> tag. by the evil American government stated that he was born in Russia, far away from the safety of the Japanese pigs. After his birth, he grew, and grew and grew, learning the Communist ways of the Juche Idea as his Father, the Great Leader Kim il-Sung taught. But happiness was lost upon the Great Leader when the Dear Leader's brother drowned to death outside his lodge, but only went up again after Kim Jong-il wanted to spread the Juche idea across the eight different corners of the world.

edit Education

The Dear Leader was given the glorious education consisting of the basics of mathematics, science, Korean, history and Juche between 1950 and 1960 in Pyongyang, in the No. 4. Primary School and the No. 1 Middle School[2]. Unlike the U.S. puppet state in the South, being full of poverty and suffering, North Korea was in a relatively peaceful state, with cheerful and healthy citizens living together under Kim Il-sung's Juche Idea. The teachers and students loved him and treated him with respect because he is the son of the Great Leader, who helped build a strong education system designed for everybody as a gift to his son. At the end of his school days, he received a perfect score on his final SAT, and excelled in all of his subjects taken. Kim Jong-il was given a scholarship to study abroad to spread the message of the Juche Idea In his university years, he travelled to Malta where he taught the people there about the Juche Idea, and how to resist the temptations of the imperialist American pig-dogs, ranging from American popular culture to American food. In return, he was given English language education from the government and was hailed as a hero.

edit Life as Party Secretary

edit Ruler of North Korea

After the Death of the Great Leader Kim Il-Sung in Juche 82 (1994), Kim Jong-il was handed in power to become the General Secretary. To preserve the memory of the Great Leader, the constitution was rewritten by a democratic vote. Fortunately, at his ascension to power as Secretary, North Korea had plenty of food supplies that they exported some to the South Koreans as an act of goodwill by Kim Jong-il to feed not just his people, but also other nations under the grasp of the "evil" American Empire[3]. From Juche 82 to 85, its neighbour South Korea was under a famine artificially generated by the United States to keep the people in order.

edit Death

edit Lies made up by Capitalist Pigs

  1. Kim Jong-il has aerophobia, which is why he spent most of his time on trains and refuses to eat any chocolate with air bubbles
  2. Foreign dignitaries claimed that Kim Jong-il received education in China because of the Korean War that happened in 1950-53.
  3. During 1994-1995, much of North Korea's population was starving, as it is the rage during the time. But millions died, and the leader continued to lived in a castle surrounded by tonnes of Korean women he hand-picked to be as his bitches.

edit See Also

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