User:Joe9320/Giratina

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“RRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”
~ Giratina on Everything
175px
Giratina (Rayquaza Ripoff Form)
Japanese name The Platinum-coloured Tapeworm Goth (ギラティナ)
Chinese name That F***ing Gray Tapeworm (这该死的灰色绦虫)
Stage Ultimate
Evolves from Parasite
Evolves to Alternate "Forme"
Species TAPEWORM RENEGADE GOTH
Type Ghost/Dragon/GOTH
Height Take Rayquaza for a rough estimate
Weight OVER 90000000000000 POUNDS! (Rayquaza Ripoff Form: OVER 900 LBS)
Ability Uber Pwn
Next Pokémon Some cure-all called Cresselia
Previous Pokémon Some Giant King called Regigigas
Main Advantage EVIL, Completely Invincible, lives in another world, can cause great destruction
Main Disadvantage Shapeshifter, the original form looks like a tapeworm

Giratina is a shapeshifting goth-tapeworm-renegade Pokémon that lives in cemetaries for the rest of its life. He is known as the god of hell in the Pokémonist religion (This article does not make sense because goths are not evil--or are they?)

Alright, back to the main topic. What I said is, that Giratina is a shapeshifter, capable of doing evil and being evil. His Mortal enemy, Palkia, couldn't even change into something else, despite its evilness after creating space. Yes, Giratina is actually Master Chief in disguise. Giratina is also said to have founded the city of Giratinaton.He lives in the mirror-verse which the main portal to is in Machel Jackson's basement next to the trout used to kill OJ Simpson's ex-wife.

edit Biography

Pokemonplatinum-oz

Giratina appears in Pokemon Platinum. He's proud of himself.

Giratina spends most of its time living in a parallel universe[1], mostly as the so-called "Origin Forme". However, the retarded Otakus and Americans spell the word "form" wrong. The Origin "Forme", as the dumb otakus call it, is an enormous tapeworm that does NOT live in your body, and the other one is another weird monster, called the "Altered Forme", which is, obviously, an altered form of Giratina. Giratina appears with Palkia and Dialga as mascots of the 4th Generation series. He stars in Pokemon Platinum as himself. Giratina is also made of antimatter

edit Birth

File:Baby Giratina.jpg

Giratina was born from Arceus' diarrhoea bacteria on a taco which was consumed by Arceus after Palkia had betrayed him. Arceus went to take a shit and a baby tapeworm popped out and started crying, Arceus saw his Evil-like appearance and decided to get rid of it in a Detroit porto-potty, but saw an Ikea while driving down the trans-Belka highway. Coincidentally, Ikea had a special on inter-dimensional portals, which proved the opportune way to dispose of the abomination. Arceus chucked Giratina into the parallel universe and went merrily on his way, but due to a lack of funds, Pokemon corp gave Giratina a new 'forme' to double sales of games and cards, which resulted in Giratina becoming some form of massive elephant-tank.

After the Malicious Palkia and his pet slave Dialga fought each other in their cataclysmic battle, Giratina managed to kidnap Dialga and, crying is patented "Bishaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn!", proceeded to use Dialga as a sex slave, which, as you can imagine, was rather unpleasant.

Luckily for us, Arceus looked on at whimpering, now sperm-filled eyes of Dialga and decided to step in. Using all his godly wit and power, he jammed a chair into the door handle of the inter-dimensional portal, which as of 2014, has proved successful in keeping Giratina in his place.

If only Arceus hadn't been stupid enough to throw Giratina into the parallel universe, Giratina may have become a perfect gentleman in society.

GiratinaOriginForme

Giratina when he was young.

edit In the Games

While Palkia and Dialga both have their own signature moves, Giratina thought "If these motherfuckers have their own moves, why shouldn't I have my own?" So he kidnapped the Pokemon designers and raped them into submission. Being Japanese men, this man on man action was of course unsuccessful in causing displeasure the victim, so Giratina designed his own move, which consisted of disappearing into nothing and then reappear as a freak suprise. Giratina called it "Shadow Force". We called it a spacetime abomination, or sometimes multi-dimensional hide and seek. Everything you read onwards of this is mostly useless, unfunny information.

edit Youth

After Giratina discovered his ability to traverse between universes- the real and the parallel universes, Giratina attempts to get Palkia from Darkrai. Then, Giratina saw Palkia and manages to free Palkia so that trouble can happen. When Darkrai saw that happening, he asked Giratina why he wanted Palkia. Giratina replied to Darkrai, saying that he wanted Palkia because he's a penis and he wanted some fun from it. Palkia then saw his chance and immediately Spacial Rended Giratina in the stomach. Giratina let out a loud "Bishaaaaaaan!" and with that Palkia grabbed Darkrai and left the parallel universe

“I want Palkia because he's evil and I'm evil and you're evil and he looks like a space penis”
~ Giratina

Giratina was furious and tries to kill Palkia because he was the one who tried to kill him, but Cresselia kicked Giratina to the parallel universe again, and prevented him from visiting the real universe. At the same time, Giratina got more and more angry, and unleashed a fury that created a space-time rip that enables him to visit the real world once more.

edit The Collapse of Palkia and the Rise of Giratina (After the Second Death of Palkia)

"So what?", you said. Well, <insert name here>, you didn't realise that Giratina wanted to be bad. He wanted to kill Palkia as well. Giratina, along with Rayquaza and Groudon, decided to kill Palkia, on condition that:

  • Rayquaza kills 489 pokemons
  • Giratina will create an empire of bullshits
  • Darkrai gets killed by mom
  • Groudon and Kyogre stops fighting after they die
“Giratina, you retard! Don't you know that there is Earth already? Oh, bugger, let's call it parallel and end this stupid rant.”
~ Rayquaza

edit The Dream of Giratina

Rayquaza decided to give the planet life. Giratina called it Earth, but then he realise that there is already an Earth. Thankfully, being in a parallel world, Giratina called his universe the "Parallel Universe". Giratina told Rayquaza to kill Palkia for him, as he was too busy trying to create an empire by destorying the world. When Darkrai saw this, he tried to go to Giratina and create a nightmare to stop creating an empire of evil. But Groudon killed Darkrai by throwing him into a fissure on the parallel Earth. All is well.

But then Palkia was resurrected by Kyogre and when he saw Giratina's plan to create an empire of evil, Palkia went to fight against Giratina. Giratina killed Palkia again. He also set up his capital of evil in a distorted world, and 25 years later, much of the real universe and the parallel universe was covered in darkness and evil.

Of course, this is Giratina dreaming, he wants an empire of Evil and Evil doings but you need to remember Palkia is covered in impenetrable armour and can only be killed by the chosen three. What really happened in the timeline of events was Darkrai was grabbed by Palkia and taken out of the parallel universe. Giratina got REALLY MAD over this and decided that he will devout his entire life to kill Palkia--and all of Palkia's 'allies' shall fell his wrath if they stand in the way. And with that Giratina grabbed his shiny yellow battle helmet and placed it on himself, unfortunately for everyone who despises battle helmets Giratina could no longer remove it.

edit The Killing and Revival

Giratina came to see Palkia, but Palkia tried to kill him and that he would have done if it hadn't been for Giratina however managing to then kill Palkia (for real this time) in a seriously lucky way (hitting his chest weak spot with all his power) and thus Palkia caused a space distortion before he died. This time, no one could revive Palkia. Because of the space distortion, the real universe overlapped with the parallel universe, creating the Ruined Dimension. The legendary Pokemon saw that happening, along with Cresselia. Darkrai was not amused. Giratina based his world there and planned to do more evil now Palkia has died. Cresselia left Giratina because "he was like Palkia" and sought to save him. Darkrai tried to stop Cresselia from reviving Palkia to stop the two universes from being covered in darkness, but Cresselia revived Palkia, trusting Palkia never to do evil deeds again. Giratina had no idea this was happening at the time so as you could imagine, he was getting cocky.

edit Giratina's Rule

Giratina felt on top of the world with his new position of power, he commanded power through shadow creatures he created, initially this struck fear into every non-legendary Pokemon in existance but something ironic was about to happen the weakest Pokemon in existance at that time (Magikarp, yes they were weak back then as well) splashed on one of the creatures and the creature died and vanished. Upon seeing this, a cute little Pachirisu gently touched another shadow creature and that creature also died and vanished; soon every Pokemon in existance was killing the creatures.

Giratina was now really angry at the creatures and realised that Normal-type moves were effecting them because the creatures wern't Ghost types, they were Dark types. The last straw for Giratina was when Rayquaza appeared and used Hyper Beam on the 1000 creatures standing between Giratina's podium and Rayquaza, he killed all of them in exactly 4.2 seconds- the exact time Hyper Beam lasted back then; when Rayquaza said COMBO BREAKER the loudest he could, Giratina broke down and called off all the remaining shadow creatures.

He went up to Rayquaza for to apologise for all the selfish destruction he had caused and said that he had been foolish to try and out-evil Palkia, Rayquaza asked why Giratina did all this and Giratina replied to Rayquaza by saying he thought he had been treated like shit all his life because his universe was hit by a rip in space, Palkia had Spacial Rended Giratina on countless occasions and Arceus had just ignored his existance; Rayquaza forgave Giratina and said that he would ally with him to help bring Palkia down, Giratina agreed because like Dialga, Rayquaza had never done anything to hurt him. However, the celebrations were cut short by the prescence of a monster...

edit A battle of Epic Proportions

Giratina saw behind him a white and purple, thing, yes <insert name here>, you got it, it was Palkia. Palkia challenged Giratina to a battle but Giratina sent Rayquaza out to kill Palkia because 'he had done it before', however, Palkia had gained massive agility increases and was able to dodge Rayquaza's attacks easily and counteracting with his own, Rayquaza was almost killed when one of Palkia's Spacial Rends hit him in the stomach and was pushed by the Spacial Rend into Giratinas path if it had not been for Giratina's very impressive manouvre involving throwing Rayquaza to his right and taking the full impact of the Spacial Rend. Giratina was low on health now so in order to restore it, he drank a whole 5 litre bottle of Lucozade energy (On Special Offer at an Evil shop near you!!!) and commanded Darkrai, Rayquaza and Groudon (he just happened to be there) to Kill Palkia with him.

5 Minutes later, all 4 were on the ground and at the mercy of Palkia, but because Palkia shows no mercy, they were all gonna die- if it weren't for Dialga and Arceus appearing right at that moment! Arceus and Dialga combined their Hyper Beam and Roar of Time attacks and fired the fused attack at Palkia, Palkia tried to sheild it with his arm but the sheer force of the attack eventually 'broke through' Palkia's sheilding and hit him in the chest, Palkia did not die because he hadn't been weakened properly but he had been left with one HP. Palkia warped from the battlefield and thus the threat was over, but Giratina and his 'army' had collapsed from the battle and were two tired to move; luckily, Arceus had some VOLVIC REVIVE and used it to revive them, the only downside was they were now filled with Volcanicity.

Giratina will never forget that day and spends his whole life trying to kill Palkia and become the top Evil-Doer. As for Palkia, he saw Giratina becoming the Global dictator. When Darkrai came to Palkia, Darkrai trapped him with a never-ending nightmare that he would never wake from, and Giratina took control of space. Unfortunately he was crap at controlling space so a week later, Arceus took control of space instead (as a relief for Giratina[2]). Giratina went back to his world. But as things go, Palkia was way stronger than the nightmare and broke free, Arceus space power was drained from him and returned to Palkia (in pristine condition). Palkia calmed down on the planetary destruction and decided to search out allies.

No Wikipedia
Due to extensive amounts of EVIL in this article, Wikipedia can't have an article about Joe9320/Giratina because of their budget servers. Damn those so-called experts!

edit Moves

edit Best moves for Giratina

  1. Explosion
  2. Shadow Force
  3. Rip Your Head Off
  4. Bishaan! Cry

edit Moves that Giratina does when everyone's looking...

Level Attack
- Scare Adaverts
- Bishaan! Cry
10 5,000,000,000 Years Ago Power
15 Very Annoying Wind
19 Slashed On The Face
24 Says he's going to give you money if you can grab it before he counts to ten really really really fast (speeding up when you get close).
33 Scratch
37 Destruction Using The Earth To Kill Everyone
42 Aura Balls
46 Nonexistent Scratch
50 Shadow Force
62 The Eye
97 Fly
100 FEEESHARRRRFNOTT (Scrub all the floors in Hyrule)
253 Breakage of every bone in the body and eatage of the remaining flesh after being cut up in to small chunks by extreme mind power and stealage of the soul after death
255 Kamehameha (breed with monkey)
666 Tackle
8912 BASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN (destroys everyone with hateful patented cry)
9000 Samus Kirby Mode (Tells you that he can make you the most powerful Trainer in the uinverse, only betraying you by using the moon to crush you after doing your girlfriend while making you watch the show Chowder)

edit ...and when no one's looking

  • Flashbeer Dance
  • rick roll
  • Cardiac Arrest attack!
  • palkia (penis) attacking revenge


edit Feud with Palkia

As with most wannabe top Evil-Doers, Giratina couldn't help but try to overthrow Palkia the great space penis off the Pearl infused, armour protected [3], internally furied, ultimate portraying of Evil and claim it for himself. Giratina had been keen to avoid his creator Arceus, in case he awoke the wrath of his "Judgement". However, Giratina alone could not defeat Palkia, every time he tried, it always ended out the same way- Giratina uses "Shadow Force", Palkia jumps over the attack, accumulating 20 points, leaps over giratina's head (hold B then A) and pushes the convinient button, sending him back to Parallel Universe[4].

Giratina decided to befriend Arceus, and Arceus' current projects, Rayquaza, the famed god o' air and Groudon the grumpy-ass god o' dirt, in order to defeat Palkia, who had already corrupted the demi-Gods Mewtwo and Kyogre the bitchy whale and god o' puddles.

edit The Befriending of the Llama

Giratina realised that the only way he could rule the world was to ally himself with his creator and God, Arceus, and defeat Palkia with his help. So Arceus was awoken in mid-wet-dream (famously known for accidently impregnating mortals below who have their vaginas pointing upward, this is actually how Cressalia was made, even though she/it existed before the dream; this is a paradox, which can probably be explained by one of Giratina's space underwear-rippy things), and was begged not to strike down Giratina with his almighty if not slightly moist death claws. Arceus saw straight through the traitor-worm's lies, although he did not mention it. He planned to reunite his creations by allying with them in order to take down the evil Palkia, in a little gay peace making...thing. Giratina, along with Rayquaza, Groudon, Dialga and the almighty Llama sought to destroy Palkia and his allies. The war of Time and Space began.

edit Giratina's Top 10 Enemies

1. Palkia
2. Arceus
3. Darkrai
4. Mew
5. China
6. Me
7. Robert Mugabe
8. Followers of the great clan of Arceusness
9. Westboro Baptist Church
10.Landover Baptist Church

edit In Pokemonism

To the Pokemonists, Giratina is seen as the god of the alternate universe and ruler of Hell, Palkia as the god of space and evil, Dialga as the god of time and Arceus as plain old God, true, simple and 100% whole grain wheat. Here is the story of how Pokemon were killed with weaponry, before people used Pokemon to fight[5]:

A young man, callow and foolish in
innocence, came to own a sword.
With it, he killed Pokémon, which gave
sustenance, with carefree abandon.
Those not taken as food, he
discarded, with no afterthought.
The following year, no Pokémon
appeared. Larders grew bare.
The young man, seeking the missing
Pokémon, journeyed afar.
Long did he search. And far and wide,
too, until one he did find.
Asked he, "Why do you hide?"
To which the Pokémon, named Giratina replied...
"If you bear your sword to bring
harm upon us, with claws and
fangs, we will exact a toll.
"From your kind we will take our
toll, for it must be done.
"Done it must be to guard ourselves
and for it, I apologize."
To the skies, the young man shouted
his dismay.
"In having found the sword, I have
lost so much.
"Gorged with power, I grew blind
to Pokémon being alive.
"I will never fall savage again.
This sword I denounce and forsake.
"I plead for forgiveness,
for I was but a fool."
So saying, the young man hurled the
sword to the ground, snapping it.
Seeing this, Giratina disappeared
to go and jerk off...

And that is why you must not harm a Pokemon, regardless of evilness. However, there is some doubt on whether Giratina was mentioned in it or not, and there are several versions of this story.

BUT.....

If the Pokemon he went to see had been Palkia...

A young man, callow and foolish in
innocence, came to own a sword.
With it, he killed Pokémon, which gave
sustenance, with carefree abandon.
Those not taken as food, he
discarded, with no afterthought.
The following year, no Pokémon
appeared. Larders grew bare.
The young man, seeking the missing
Pokémon, journeyed afar.
Long did he search. And far and wide,
too, until one he did find.
Asked he, "Why do you hide?"
Palkia repied:
"You have killed more than your fair share
I kill the Creatures round here"
And with that Palkia drew
Two fighting tools from his back
And he shouted at loudest tone
"Prepare to Die"

The battle kind of looked like this:


Unfortunately the said Palkia was a copy of the real antagonist.
The young man said
"I must not kill Pokemon
I must raise and protect them
There is a mortal danger
Out beyond the stars
And it's the real Palkia

edit Battle Strategies

Giratina has many different battle strategies that can be useful for killing unwanted Evil-Doers (the ones on Palkia's side)

edit Shadow Force

Disappears for one turn then attacks on the next turn [6]

  • Advantages--While he is 'gone' Giratina is immune to all attacks; Shadow force is one of two moves that can break through Protect, meaning it negates the two turn 'waste of move'
  • Disadvantages--Even though he is immune to attacks, Giratina can still take damage from poison and a burn; if Giratina is paralyzed and can't move or if yawn takes effect then the move is negated. Shadow Force doesn't effect normal type foes.

edit Defensive wall

Altered "Forme"- Giratina has high Defense and high HP meaning he ain't going down too quickly

  • Advantages: Pisses people off, they slowly take down it's HP and Giratina bites back (Slashes may have been better here); Giratina is immune to normal and fighting type attacks meaning he only has 15 types that do damage
  • Disadvantages: People use lengendaries to take down other legendaries and seeing as Giratina is legendary he will have legendaries put against him, the disadvantage is that most legendaries are dragon type like Giratina and because dragon is super effective on dragon, Giratina will have a rough time especially because Giratina is slower than all other dragon legendaries.

edit Two-way Fighting

Giratina has the same attack as he does special attack meaning you can teach him attack moves or special moves

Attack

  • Shadow Force, as explained in most of this god damned article
  • Earthquake, good for killing small creatues, making buildings fall over, opening up fissures, pissing Groudon off and taking out steel types, and obliterating Chile and Haiti
  • Rip Your Head Off, pretty self explanitery don't you think
  • Explosion, see also

Special Attack

  • Dragon Pulse, gives the target a cardiac arrest
  • Shadow Ball, use it twice and you've got Shadow Balls
  • Dragon Ball, that's copyright infringement!
  • Draco Meteor, one kickass attack!!! But you sacrificed an equally good Shadow Force

communist potatoes

edit Facts about Giratina

  • Despite being unable to control space and time, Giratina can warp anywhere using his unique dimensional powers

(although we call this cheating).

  • According to Pokemon Platinum, Arceus did create Giratina; this means that Arceus ate something funny and got a tapeworm. Because of this unfortunate incident Palkia laughed at Arceus for getting a nasty pain in the arse.
  • Giratina apparently only hurts people that have done harm to him, those who haven't get a big, fuzzy hug.
  • Giratina is problably the second top Evil thing because Arceus declared it and what ever Arceus says seems to go, whether you like it or not.
  • Giratina turns to goo and screams like a little girl every time it hears or sees or even thinks about Chiyo Mihama.
  • Giratina's sworn enemy is Palkia because Palkia wants him dead and he is jealous of Palkia's Evil-Doings.
  • Giratina provided vocals and slutty teeneage girl love cries in the song "Bludgeoned by a massive Black Cock" by nigger metal/bubblegum pop/ Christian neo-nazi orchestral band Infant Bile.
  • Giratina wants to overthrow Arceus, thus he is convincing Rayquaza, Groudon and Dialga to help overthrow him (although this may be quite a civilized and warless overthrowing with no violence involved).
  • Giratina's cry was meant to be Bishun, but Giratina had to take a massive dump when he first did his cry so it came out BISHAAAAAAAAAAAN, he is stuck with this permanantly.
  • Giratina's 'Altered forme' was originally called 'Another forme' because no-one could come up with an inventive name for it, although 'Altered forme' still lacks originality.
  • Giratina can speak Spanish and more than 300 other languages, apart from Chinese because he hates that language. He is also Banned From China.
  • Giratina was the host of the First, Second and Third Pokemon International.

edit Reference

  1. Well, what do you expect? A reference to where I got this? Anyway, he lives in the Philippines.
  2. Plus, Giratina is made of antimatter, and Arceus fears that Giratina may use antimatter for evil purposes
  3. Notice under Palkia's white arm armour there is grey skin, proving that Palkia has armour permantly stuck to him and that armour covers most of Palkia's body
  4. Giratina It Gets Harder, Shogakukan, 2008
  5. Veilstone's Myth, recovered March 2007, accessed November 2008
  6. Bulbapedia Shadow Force (move), accessed 2008

edit See also

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