User:Joe9320/2 Girls 1 Calculus Equation
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“I couldn't figure it out at first...”
2 Girls 1 Calculus Equation is a popular internet shock site featuring two partially nude girls who kiss, then procede to incorrectly solve a basic Calculus equation in what many viewers have called "A horrific, shocking perversion of mathematical law. Disgusting."
The video originated from a Brazilian fetish film producer named Marco Fiorito, who specialized in math-related fetishes. He had already gained international notoriety for the court battle over his previous film, Extreme Nude Algebra, which featured naked woman solving an algebra problem. But Fiorito wanted to make something even more extreme than that, something he would be remembered for throughout the ages. "When I got the idea for 2 girls 1 calculus equation, I projectile vomited immediately. I knew I had something truly unique."
The film begins with two women, one black and one white. The black woman is sucking the white woman's ice-cream (they had only one cone at their house). Then, the white woman holds a small glass up to the coffee maker and gets coffee, while planning for the shocking event they were about to do.
Then things get shocking.
The two women walk up to a chalk board and attempt to solve a calculus equation. Horrifyingly, they forget the basic rules for finding the derivative of a function and, most shocking of all, (WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. AS A MATTER OF FACT, IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, YOU SHOULDN'T BE READING THIS ARTICLE AT ALL, DUMBASS) they put the differential of x above the differential of y instead of vice versa and they also forgot to take the derivative of the inside function, leaving their resulting calculation of the function's limit extremely innaccurate.
A popular internet fad is for a person to record himself ("himself" because no girls should see this video, but not restricted to lesbians) watching the video, then post his reaction on the internet. However, many people who watch the video have no idea what they're in for. Some users pass out, others throw up, and some simply scream in disbelief: "They're supposed to be calculating the TANGENT, not the secant! What are they doing? Oh GOD! Now they've put a plus sign instead of a minus sign in the difference quotient formula!" The general consensus is that the video starts out acceptable. "I see people shitting in cups all the time in TV commercials," says one man, "But this calculus mistake...that's some sick shit. We're heading into moral bankruptcy." Although viewers say they are going to stop the video, they can't for some reason. There are many theories behind it, but the most scientifically proven theory is called "The Denial" first proposed by Osama Bin Laden. (Osama himself have posted a reaction video of his own showing that he shot 56 of his friends after watching the video. Sadly, the video was never found again.) The theory goes like this; a viewer of 2 Girls 1 Calculus Equation cannot believe his eyes when he first see the mistake. He screams, shouts, passes out, throws up, hurts himself, suicides, or, in rare occasions, masturbates. But he keeps watching it, denying his pleasure of the video.
Below are some example reactions for your viewing pleasure:
This old woman hates being stumped by such a horrible mathematics problem - "Get out of here, Jackie!" she says when she sees the quadratic function!
And this is an interview of her by some precal students who want to take calculus...
This younger woman struggles with basic arithmetic...
Notice the old woman's initial skepticism during the algebra scene, before she gets to the scene with the calculus and promptly gags violently.
Soon the meme spread to the point that small children were showing their unsuspecting (and strangely attractive) mothers the video. This woman is absolutely appalled by the poor math that she is seeing, proving conclusively that there are some things that simply weren't meant to be seen, and poorly done calculus is one of them.
This documentation of a particularly squeamish person's reaction serves as a warning to all those who think they can handle this video.
One memorable day, some nerdy pranksters thought it would be funny to play the video for an entire audience of a football game in New York. They obviously didn't predict this result.
Several weeks after the football stadium incident, the entire workforce of a Salt Lake City bank decided to watch the video simultaneously. They hoped to disprove the popular social steryotype that bankers are spineless bastards. They failed.
The rest of Salt Lake City followed with its own "two girls one calculus equation" reaction.
The last 2 girls 1 calculus equation. And the funniest.