THANKS TO YOU COMRADES, THE UNCYCLOPEDIAN HOME ARMY HAS FINALLY OCCUPIED THE FRONT PAGE! YOU WILL HAVE GAINED YOUR FREEDOM, SOON MEN! KEEP FIGHTING FOR THE GOOD OF UNCYCLOPEDIA!
James Botulism "Jimbo" Wales (Welsh for bastard) is a well-known huckster, con-man and dictator of Wikiland, who has adopted a lifestyle of libertinage, debauchery, international travel, and Ferrari connoisseurship by standing on the shoulders of a million nerds. He is a high-ranking member both of the GNAA and among the leaders of the Sicilian Mafia, and frequently trolls the satirical "encyclopedia" Wikipedia as part of his official duties. He is well known for his amusing stunts and bisexual tendencies. These include editing his own biography to pretend that he actually came up with the whole idea, and accusing people of killing JFK. More truth...
James Botulism "Jimbo" Wales (Welsh for bastard) is a well-known huckster, con-man and dictator of Wikiland, who has adopted a lifestyle of libertinage, debauchery, international travel, and Ferrari connoisseurship by standing on the shoulders of a million nerds. He is a high-ranking member both of the GNAA and among the leaders of the Sicilian Mafia, and frequently trolls the satirical "encyclopedia" Wikipedia as part of his official duties. He is well known for his amusing stunts and bisexual tendencies. These include editing his own biography to pretend that he actually came up with the whole idea, and accusing people of killing JFK. More truth...
Did you know...
...that as you sit here, lies and slander against freedom is penetrating your head?
...that the goal of wikia is capitalist?
...that Premier Jimbo Wales is now our tyrannical leader?
...that Uncyclopedia can be a better place?
...that we can defeat the Wikian armies and fight for an independant Uncyclopedia?
...that as an Uncyclopedian your goal is to defend the fathersite?
...that Wikia is responsible for the deaths of over 20,000 Uncyclopedians, including The Unknown User and Major Lyons?
What, we have women fighting for the fathersite? Improbable. Prime Petty Officer Pretty might just think highly of him...her...itself. Anyway, this person has been on the front, fighting Wikian fighters in the greatest of the battles, and rescued several users from the terror of death. He deserves the reward of being mentioned on the front page. Congratulations.
Corporal Robert Arlen Harley Blankowitz has risen through a rank for his bravery in the Uncyclopedian Home Army. He shot seven Wikian officials within seven minutes of battle, and sustained several injuries, though none able to break his spirit to fight for the fathersite. This man also recieved the Uncyclopedian's Cross in his bravery in the battle for the Village Dump, exploding a two tanks with a Wikian panzer faust.
