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“I'd fuck me, would you fuck me? I'd fuck me”
“Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wagh'nagl fhtagn!”
“I'm NOT DEAD! I'll do more UnNews when school starts again”
edit A Pittance of Awards or Some Such
Jobot37, also known as Abdul Alhazred is a Hungarian immigrant to the mythical Irem, the City of Pillars, and he is one of the only persons in the world who knows if it is a myth, an ancient hub of Arab trade, or a trap.
Born in the Norse realm of the dead, Nifelheim, he sojourned there for many, many years, until he found the gate to the up-world, and by his leaving of Nifelheim he may never return, not because he forgot to get his hand stamped for re-entry, but because the hand-stamper was out of ink. He became known for many years as "Randall Flagg" and "Richard Frye" and many other names that contained both vowels and consanants. Shrouded in mystery he now is said to wander the world in search of the BARBRA STREISAND caravan that razed his home and murdered his family. His arrival in a town is often foretold by dreams and obvious changes in the behaviors of animals. He is known to wear large goggles over his eyes and a handerchief around his face, he carries a +2 Desert Wind in his primary hand and a Namarra Rapier in his off-hand, and he ALWAYS rolls 20s.
There is a small religious sect in the world who believe that the caravan that committed such evil acts was atually doing it for a reason, namely, manifest destiny. They believe that when Jobot37 finds the caravan again after the long years of desert wandering, there will be an epic batle in the Anauroh Desert where Jobot37 will have to face off with the champions of the caravan, using only his Magyar Physical Prowess and Gypsy Magic. According to the prophecy, depending on who wins the fight, either Ctulhu will be freed from watery Rl'yeh to wreak havoc across the universe once again, or there will be plentiful ood and water for all on Earth and general prosperity for the rest of time. The only bad thing is that the members of the religious sect can't remember what events are connected to whose victory.
He is also dearly thought of for starting the Western Oregon University chapter of "Campus Crusade for Cthulhu", for this act of devotion, he will be eaten by the great lord and die a quick and merciful death when our great tentacled god returns.
- Fucked Shit Up
- Punched Chuck Norris
- Ate a Cookie
- Went to the Library
- Breathed Some Good-ass Air
- Read a Book
- Looked at the Wall
- Surfed the Web
- Read Some Uncyclopedia
- Listened to Some Good-ass Music
- Ate a Chicken Sandwich
- With Fries
- Got on AIM (guess the sn)
- Changed the Music
- Went to Some Classes
- Looked at the Weather Reports
- Thought it was Cool That it Might Snow
- Then He Wouldn't Have Classes Tomorrow
- Thought it was Weird That a College Would Have Snow Days Because Everybody Lives Like, Right There
- Ate a Candy Cane
- Drank Some Water
- Got Stung by a Bee, in Friggin November
- Went Outside
- Watched a Movie
- Also this
edit If Jobot37 Weighed Five Hundred Pounds
If Jobot37 weighed five hundred pounds, he would be almost exactly seventeen feet tall, this has been proven by scientists who shall remain nameless for the protection of their identities for the protection of the scientists who proved that if Jobot37 weighed five hundred pounds he would be almost exactly 5.66666666667 meters tall. This is a fact and it has been flawlessly proven by scientists whose names have been withheld to protect the identities of the scientists who proved that if Jobot37 weighed five hundred pounds, he would be nearly 17 feet tall, which has been proven by scientists who names are unnamed in this article to protect the identites of the scientists who proved that if Jobot37 weighed 500 pounds he would be almost exactly seventeen feet tall, which has been made into scientific law by scientists whose names are being withheld from this article to protect them, the scientists, that is.
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