User:Jishanpeter/IPod yotta

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Not to be confused with iPod Yatta.
Galaxyipod

iPod yotta size comparison with the Milky Way

The iPod yotta is theoretical device, predicted to be invented before the 22nd century. It is the logical endpoint of the development of mp3 players unless brain-recorded music can be played back via Oscar Wilde.

Physical Description

The iPod yotta would measure one yottametre long, which would give it dimensions of 100 by 50 by 10 by 5 million light years as measured from Einsteinian 4D spacetime. Although this seems large, it would be possible for at least several hundred iPod yottas to fit inside the universe (at current estimates). Being about a thousand times the size of the milky way, traditional electronics using copper wires with electrons as charge carriers would be impractical. Instead, entire stars are charged with static electricity and manipulated with magnetic and gravitational fields. No wonder its slogan is "Yotta get yourself a smaller iPod!"


Features

While the fact that the hard drive rotates at only one revolution per hour (as compared to the 4200 revolutions a standard ipod makes in a minute) may seem slow, in actuality, this means the drive can spin at several thousand times the speed of light on the outer radius, meaning that songs can be retrieved in (relatively) no time at all.

“HOLY SHIT THAT'S A BIG iPOD!”
~ Jesus on the iPod yotta, gotta get me one of these

Safe disposal

It is important when disposing of an iPod yotta not to crush it. Crushing an iPod yotta smaller than its Schwarzschild radius will cause it to collapse into a supermassive black hole, creating a singularity that will swallow up most of the universe. The recommended method of disposal is isolation beyond the universe, by throwing it into a more massive black hole. Stephen Hawking would agree.


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