User:JetRun26/Super Mario Bros. 2

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Supa Mario Deux
Mario delivering Barry Bonds his steroids sports cream Cherry Coke.
Developer(s) Nintendo
Release date The 80's! Rad!
Genre Drug-induced
Platform(s) Old Gray Box
Rating God approves
Would Mario play it? If he could snort it after

Super Mario Bros. 2 is a game based of of a vivid LSD trip Mario had during New Years 1989. When he was tripping, Mario (along with friends Luigi, Toad, and Courtney Love) had to wander the jungles of San Francisco, recovering crystal balls of angel dust to progress through the levels to eventually defeat Dick Cheney's head.


After picking one of the four available characters (Phil Collins is available to be unlocked later on), you must progress through the level by throwing vegetables, blocks, and exploding black babies at the San Francisco Police Dept. enemies. LCD is available in glass test tubes, which opens an inter-dimensional door to Black Jesus's herb garden, where you can gain power by eating his mushrooms.

At the end of most of the levels, you must fight a giant ovulating pink vagina, which is commonly referred to as Birdo. After defeating the vagina and recovering the angel dust sphere, you proceed to enter a giant black bird's mouth to be digested into the next level.

The game would also have many different bosses at the end of each world, such as FryGuy, Splinter the Rat, and the Hamburglar. After defeating each boss, a Sage will appear before you and hand you a sacred medallion. After collecting all the medallions, Princess Zelda appears before you and presents you with the light arrows, which is one of the only things that can defeat Dick Cheney's head. However, Dick Cheney's head is aware of such shenanigans, and entraps Zelda in a giant floating ball of duct tape. Using the Sages' reawakened power, Tom Cruise appears and creates a giant gay rainbow bridge to gain access to Dick Cheney's head's castle.

Once in the castle, you must fight Dick Cheney's head by shooting the light arrows at him. When he is weakened by this, you finish the job by saying his name backwards, which will imprison him forever in a white empty room with Gilbert Godfrey. The final scene of the game shows Mario waking up in a dumpster next to a half-dressed Michael Jackson and a crack whore.


  • Pressing A B up down A will summon Jesus from the heavens to open up an old-fashion can of whoop-ass upon your enemies.
  • The game can be used as a drug
  • It's an upper, by the way
  • Al Sharpton doesn't approve of this game
  • The game can not be played with your penis
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